Good Mourning

Finding a Path Through Loss

Kenneth J. Doka Ph.D.

The Choice We Make About Grief

Grief can devastate you unexpectedly. But you retain the choice to live a renewed life over time.

"Not the Way I Wanted It to Be"

Even in the midst of a pandemic, we can find ways to honor our loved one, our loss, and our grief.

Continuing Bonds, Not Chains of Pain

Journeying with grief does not mean we have to live a life of unremitting pain.

The Coming Pandemic

We need to prepare for the next pandemic—that of complicated grief—that will affect medical and mental health staff as well as survivors.

Grief in the Midst of COVID-19

At a time when deaths are occurring at rapid rates, there may be many factors isolating the bereaved—and thereby complicating grief.

Why Did My Family Fall Apart After Mom's Death?

Is family conflict inevitable after a parent's death? How can you cope with the stress and loss of a sense of family?

The Unmentionables

Are there feelings that you encounter as you deal with loss that seem to be "unmentionable"?

Can You Die from a Broken Heart?

Grief can seriously compromise our heath—but it does not have to do so. There is much you can do, even in the midst of grief, to take care of yourself.

The Loneliness of Grief

If you are experiencing loneliness as you grieve, there are things you can do to help yourself.

Feeling Deserted

Why do we feel so alone in grief? Are we sending the wrong message to others?

Continuing Bonds—But Not Chains

We never lose the connection with those who we love. They have left legacies and memories. Yet it is important that these continuing bonds not become chains.

Is There a Right to Grieve?

Some losses simply are not recognized by others. How can we enfranchise "disenfranchised grief"?

What Do the Holidays Mean to You?

When we grieve, we may dread the thought of the holidays. But others may find it a welcome diversion.

Give Children a Choice to Be an Active Part of the Funeral

Children can do more than attend funerals—here's how families can offer them opportunities for involvement.

Should Children Attend Funerals?

At what age should a child be permitted to attend a funeral? The real key is to empower children to make their own choice.

Where Are My Beliefs When I Need Them Most?

Struggling with your beliefs after loss? Find your sources of spiritual strength.

Can You Be Stuck in Grief?

Even if we seem stuck in grief, there are ways to continue our journey with loss.

Choosing Growth after Grief

We can learn a great deal from those who seem to grow despite a significant losss

Dealing with the Death of a Child

Do parents soon divorce after a child dies? What effects does the death of a child have on family systems? How can families cope with such a traumatic loss?

Those Sneaky Spring Holidays

While we often realize that the winter holidays such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Hanukkah can trigger grief, but the many holidays of Spring can take mourners by surprise.

If Only

Guilt can take many forms in grief. Yet, whatever form it takes can complicate grief.

Complicated Grief Is Complicated

The DSM-5 now recognizes that grief can be complicated. Yet more changes are likely in the future

Finding Balance: Coping With Grief During the Holidays

Can we celebrate the holidays when we are in the midst of grief? The key is suggested by a current theory of the grieving process.

Grieving the Death of an Adult Child

Losing a child is tough at any age—but it can be especially hard when the child is an adult.

Can we do too well in grief?

Can we do too well after a loss? We need to acknowledge resilient grievers.

Identity Can Change Even After Death

Identity is not fixed at death—some times new information or values can change the way an individual is perceived even long after their death. This can deeply affect grief.

Taking It Like a Man: Understanding Grieving Styles

Do men and women grieve differently? Some do, some do not.

Can Grief Be an Impetus to Personal Growth?

We have no choice about grief but we do have choices in grief—to grow up or to grow down.

More Than a Feeling

We often think of grief as an emotion—but grief affects every aspect of our being—even our health.

We Grieve All Our Loss

In his article On Mourning and Melancholia, Freud chose an abandoned bride as his case illustration. What was he thinking?

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