How One Skill Can Change Our Lives

The gap between phenomenology and thinking

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The difference between direct experience—the feeling itself—and the word we give it is immense.

Language is an abstract representation - an attempt to capture something intangible through sounds or symbols. However, the real feeling—that inner, direct experience—is something that takes place on a level language can hardly approach. Our feelings are the result of a complex interplay of bioelectrical and neuroelectrical processes. Now, let's examine some of these embodied activities.

At the neural level of the brain and nervous system: Electrical impulses race through neurons. Neurotransmitters run through synapses. Some of them, like serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine, transmit signals that influence emotions and sensations as they occur.

At the level of body systems: Every cell in our body has bioelectric and sensory activity in its biomembranes and their associated organelles. The complex fluxes of ionic and other cellular charged particles play a role in wound healing, cellular development, and how we perceive our bodies. (Reber, Baluska & Miller, 2023)

A Fundamental Characteristic of Consciousness

The brain interprets physical stimuli as feelings by translating them into electrical signals. When we look at words, we see what they represent. Words like "sadness," "longing," and "ecstasy" are merely symbols. They can never fully capture the unique physical and mental experiences associated with them. Trying to describe a flash of lightning with a pencil sketch is like trying to describe it.

At the core of the human experience lies a paradox. We feel intensely and deeply, often in ways that are inexplicable. However, as soon as we try to express these feelings in words, they seem to fade. Psychologically speaking, the gap between internal experience and external expression is a fundamental characteristic of our mind. Our awareness constantly fluctuates between these two poles.

The Inaccurate Translation of Emotions

Our emotions are very rich embodied events, not abstract concepts. They arise from an interplay of neuroelectrical impulses, hormonal reactions, and bioelectrical signals racing through our nervous system. For example, when we experience fear, the brain activates a cascade of reactions in our body: Our heart rate accelerates, our muscles tense, and cortisol is released. All of this often occurs before we can identify the feeling.

Language is a social tool designed to enable shared meaning. However, it is also a simplification. When someone says, "I am sad," their complex inner world is reduced to a single word. Although that word carries cultural, personal, and contextual weight, it remains a symbol, not the feeling itself. Psychologists such as Carl Rogers and Eugene Gendlin emphasized the importance of the "felt sense," the vague, physical awareness that often lacks a name but nevertheless guides our inner compass. (Rogers, 1961; Gendlin, 1978)

Human Experience Is So Much Richer Than Language Can Contain

Feelings are like electrical storms in a biological landscape, and words are just echoes of those feelings.

Therefore, psychological well-being requires more than just talking; it also requires learning to listen to what does not yet have language—the whisper of the body, the tingling of intuition, and the silent knowing that precedes speech.

The gap between reality and our perception of it forms the beating heart of the human mind. This tension drives us to create, reflect, engage in conflict, and grow.

Humans never live purely in reality or completely in the realm of ideas. We constantly move between sensory experience and mental representation. Our brains filter, interpret, and reconstruct the world—not to reflect it exactly, but to make it understandable. This means we are always one step removed from the "real."

How This Tension Stimulates Learning

Cognitive dissonance occurs when our beliefs do not align with reality. The resulting discomfort then forces us to change our beliefs or behavior. We try to bridge the gap through projection and fantasy, which involves distorting the world to fit our inner images. (Festinger, 1957)

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This space fosters creativity. Art, philosophy, and science are all attempts to give form to the unspeakable and intangible. The inability to fully express feelings can lead to misunderstandings, isolation, and psychological distress. People feel "misunderstood" when their words fall short. However, this gap also offers room for possibility. Art, music, and poetry often arise from the desire to express the inexpressible.

This gap is not a shortcoming; it is a source of consciousness. Without the difference between our experiences and our thoughts, we would not ask questions, cherish dreams, or seek meaning. This friction is what makes us human—restless, searching, and creative.

An Enormous Potential for Learning

Consider how important it is to be aware of the difference between someone's experience and how it is expressed verbally when assigning a psychological label to them. Consider the multi-layered facets of the real world and what we hear in the news. Most important, consider the gap between real life and the abstract ideologies and dogmas that cause so much bloodshed and psychological distress today.

Learning the skill to distinguish between phenomenology and thoughts, as well as between real life and the stories we believe, is essential to our human evolution. The skill of "gap awareness" can transform our lives and the world.