Mutual Empathy Is a Driver of Transformation

Leaders practicing mutual empathy

Source: Tumisu/Art Sphere Inc, "PIXABAY-MENTOR-4205038_640"

When was the last time you showed empathy towards another? Probably not long ago. As a society, we value empathy and extend it to our family, friends, and even strangers who are struggling. Empathy means being sensitive to the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another. This implies that the giver of empathy offers something to another and does not receive anything in return. But is this understanding of empathy short-sighted?

In The Self-in-Relation: A Theory of Women’s Development, Janet L. Surrey explains that empathy is a “…process where the sharing of experience leads to a heightened development of self and other.” (1991) She suggests that the receiver and giver are both enhanced by empathy. Empathy is therefore mutual. While the receiver feels cared for, the giver learns more about how they react to another or a particular feeling the other has experienced or expressed. Consequently, both ascend in their psychological growth.

It is easy to see that expanding the understanding of empathy to include a mutual component can increase our relational competence, but is it meaningful in the workplace, or is it one of those things that may be desired but is not necessary?

A Case Study

Lisa Lochner is the President of BJC HealthCare’s Missouri Baptist Sullivan Hospital in Sullivan, Missouri. This hospital discovered that mutual empathy not only improved the workplace experience but increased productivity and overall performance.

As Lochner reports in the new book, The Sixth Level,* the pandemic posed layered crises for community hospitals that serve surrounding neighborhoods. Patients who were suffering and dying often had personal relationships with hospital staff members. Staff could not share information due to HIPPA regulations and had to hide emotions, forcing a sort of isolation. This added to the everyday stresses of carrying out medical care, and soon communication between staff members declined along with relationships and trust. Lochner realized that leadership needed to, “create a space that felt safe and supportive,” even with social distancing, hazmat precautions, and other necessary impediments to maintaining a sense of community. (p.99)

Lochner created a program, simply titled “One Heart, One Team,” and took measures to implement this theme. She increased her presence throughout the hospital, often staying after hours, asking questions and deepening her understanding of the staff’s experiences. In this way, Lochner demonstrated mutual empathy. She showed care for her staff and, in return, learned more about her own responsibilities and how she might help her staff.

In addition, Lochner expressed One Heart, One Team, by bringing her leadership team together at her home to give them the opportunity to share their feelings, both positive and negative. Lochner knew she was risking a gripe session, but she also recognized the potential for leaders to express empathy for each other.

At the start of the meeting, there were plentiful complaints, but mutual empathy prevailed. As the meeting progressed, leaders “developed a heightened experience” of themselves and others. They listened to one another, expressed care, and paid attention to their own reactions, interpreting them to gain a deeper understanding of their co-workers’ experiences. They started to build or rebuild relationships during this process, but that was not the only result. They discovered useful information by listening to one another and interpreting their own reactions. The meeting concluded with specific strategies to help their team members and they asked Lochner if they could meet again. Team leaders also decided to recreate this meeting with their own groups of leaders.

The results of Lochner’s style of leadership, characterized by mutual empathy, were measurable. For the first time, the hospital received a five-star quality award from the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS) and an Outstanding Culture Award from Professional Research Consultants (PRC), a market research company specializing in high-quality survey research in health care. Hospital-based patient satisfaction scores have increased, and the hospital has received additional funding to improve facilities and add services.

The Role of Mutual Empathy

In, Relational Resilience, Judith Jordan’s explanation of mutual empathy helps to explain the transformation that took place under Lochner’s leadership. Jordan posits that mutual empathy is an “antidote to immobilization and fragmentation.” (location 574) She notes:

As much as we all enjoy the sense of figuring out, effectively working on something in the external world, and seeing ourselves as competent individuals (what many have called mastery or efficacy), the need for a kind of relational competence and belonging is powerful and primary as well. (2004)

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Lochner created opportunities for herself and her team to engage in relational competence. The only agenda item at her meeting was to share feelings about the hospital. It provided a space for leaders to practice mutual empathy and discover more about themselves and how they relate to others. After feelings of connection were affirmed, the leaders were able to listen to each other as One Heart, One Team, and find solutions together.

Conclusion

This case study illustrates that mutual empathy drives results in the workplace. It is therefore not just an aspirational dynamic, but it is imperative. Seeing others and understanding their feelings helps to build positive relationships. Understanding how the experience of others affects you heightens the relationship and strengthens communication. The combination of feelings of connection and open communication leads to transformative exchanges of ideas.

*The authors of this article are among the co-authors of The Sixth Level