Navigating the Holidays With a Substance Use Disorder

Practice healthy goal-setting into the new year.

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Typically, the end-of-year holidays are seen as a period to appreciate being with loved ones and celebrate hopeful beginnings as the new year approaches. However, individuals in recovery from substance use disorders (SUDs) can perceive this as a challenging rather than a festive time.

While statistics about relapse during the holiday season are difficult to find, correlational studies do suggest that this time of year, in particular, can take an emotional toll on those struggling with addiction. I have seen in my own clinical sessions how trying the holidays can be for people in recovery, from general stressors like budgeting for gifts and meal-planning to anxiety about being offered a drink at a New Year’s party.

How Holiday Triggers Can Lead to Relapse

Those who have never suffered from addiction may have difficulty understanding why the scenarios outlined above can be fear-inducing for some in the recovery community. Viewing addiction as a form of avoidant behavior can help clarify some of these questions. During active use, most individuals struggle with relationships and keep themselves isolated due to unresolved conflicts, shame, and other unprocessed issues. In short, for people in recovery, there are a lot of social and relational bills that have been collecting over the years, and often the holiday season can be perceived as the time for them to pay these overdue bills.

The recovery community may also find the pressure to set and keep New Year’s resolutions especially daunting, when they have often been advised to meet life’s obstacles “one day at a time.” This mantra reminds them to keep concerns in perspective and encourages them to set SMART goals, which are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. Some may confuse healthy goal-setting, however, with creating resolutions that are unrealistic or impossible to attain, which can lead to feelings of failure or guilt that can potentially trigger a relapse.

When individuals in recovery place this type of pressure on themselves around the holidays, they face a greater risk of relapse. The presence of unwanted stimuli—challenging relatives, mounting credit card bills from holiday shopping, or New Year’s toasts, for instance—can similarly amplify a sense of disconnect, loneliness, and other negative feelings. Triggers may serve as a reminder of unresolved past emotional hurts and wounds or justification for compromising sobriety. A person in recovery may feel a need to self-soothe with alcohol or drugs to achieve temporary peace of mind or a sense of control over their environment.

Managing Expectations During the Holidays

In coping with this time of year, managing perceptions and expectations is key. Just because the holidays can be problematic does not mean they have to be. One of the first expectations that needs to be clarified is the idea of the “holiday blues,” which refers to rates of depression and suicide being higher during the winter months. Data from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows the opposite: that suicide rates in the winter are actually lower.

Yet having this false narrative that the holidays are automatically predictors of poorer mental health can damage one’s outlook and expectations around this time of year. This can easily alter and impact a person’s stress levels as well as their emotional response to these events.

As the above example shows, the real problem is the black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking associated with the winter holidays. The truth is mostly found in-between, in the gray area. This means that yes, the season can have its ups and downs, but that does not mean people in recovery have to miss out on the celebration or downplay their accomplishments. It is important to expect a certain amount of stress associated with the holidays, but the focus should be on how to manage and cope with the stresses involved, not on avoiding them altogether or approaching them unprepared or with whimsical thinking.

How to Cope With Holiday Stress

Biologist Louis Pasteur once said, “Chance favors the prepared mind,” meaning, in this context, that coping with SUD during the holidays is all about having the right plan.

Self-awareness is key. The individual struggling with addiction should get to know their triggers to anticipate challenges before they arise. Being aware of stress levels and having relaxation practices, like breathing techniques, handy will be important. Talking about limitations with a trusted loved one may also prove helpful.

In navigating social situations during the holidays, sober individuals should prepare prior to the occasion by having a clear escape plan in case the gathering becomes uncomfortable. Having a source of support readily available, such as a sponsor, therapist, or friend, can likewise make all the difference when navigating New Year’s gatherings and other holiday celebrations.

Society tends to look ahead during New Year’s, and some may also look back on all they have accomplished during the previous year. During the current global health crisis, many may not have been able to progress as much as they would have hoped, which can also create stress. With additional self-reflection and preparation, a person in recovery can cultivate a hopeful rather than despairing outlook as they transition into the new year. By focusing on setting intentions rather than resolutions, those with SUDs can remember the achievements they have made in 2020 and recognize that any amount of progress is still progress.