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Relationships Across Generations Can Help the Old and Young Flourish

How healthy intergenerational relationships can be a win for all ages.

Key points

  • Intergenerational relationships can be beneficial, even transformative.
  • Three factors help youth flourish: a sense of purpose, social connections, and heathy emotional well-being.
  • To engage with others of different ages, seek opportunities to volunteer through local organizations.

Meaningful intergenerational relationships — relationships between young and old — are a powerful, prevalent, but overlooked resource in the United States. Purposeful interactions across generations can enrich the lives of youth and adults and be a win for all ages. Whether the age difference is large or small, the benefits of healthy intergenerational relationships are powerful and can help young people develop a stronger self-concept, meaning, and well-being — and also improve the quality of life for older adults (Stanford Center on Longevity, 2016; Waldinger, 2022).

Over 75 years ago, the ground-breaking Harvard Longitudinal Study of Adult Development began studying more than 700 men and the research continues to the present time. Remarkably, evidence continues to show that adults who engage in meaningful relationships with younger generations are more likely to feel happier, less stressed, and more optimistic than others without these relationships (Newberry, 2023; Waldinger, 2022).

Source: Mary L / Pixabay

Noted psychologist Urie Bronfenbrenner, Ph.D., a founder of the Head Start preschool program, is quoted as saying “Every child needs at least one adult who is irrationally crazy about him or her” (Stanford Center on Longevity, 2016). In their 2016 monograph, the Stanford University Center on Longevity reviews the research and outlines three important components to strengthen young people’s capacities to flourish:

  1. Good mental health and emotional well-being cultivated throughout the lifespan by social interactions, support, and learning from others who possess these skills.
  2. Having a sense of purpose in life.
  3. Meaningful, caring, and robust social connections to help youth learn key skills for optimal development and success.

Evidence clearly shows the positive benefits of pairing young and old in meaningful relationships (Stanford Center on Longevity, 2016). Robust and caring relationships are linked to greater resilience, well-being, and health for people of all ages and stages of life. There are many skills that cannot be learned via books, social media or the Internet. But these can be boosted via intergenerational relationships.

According to the Stanford Center on Longevity (2016), the benefits of meaningful connections between younger and older people are often “hidden in plain sight” and not recognized. These include sharing the wisdom learned through life’s experiences, social and emotional intelligence, and the fact that many mature adults are highly motivated by a desire to give back to others.

And there’s never been a more important time to think about the mutual benefits of intergenerational relationships. You might be surprised to know that since 2015, the United States is home to more people over age 60 than under age 18 (Friedman, 2019). With the American population aging at an unprecedented rate, adults over age 60 are a rich and untapped resource for young people.

Today, many Americans are not simply living longer. They are healthier cognitively, physically, and emotionally than previous generations. In addition, mature adults can share a wealth of skills such as problem-solving, critical thinking and social-emotional intelligence that enable them to make meaningful contributions to younger generations. Harvard professor, Arthur Brooks, Ph.D., writes that while early adults may solve problems quickly, older adults have greater insight into which problems are worth solving (2022).

In his groundbreaking model of human psychological development, Erik Erikson, Ph.D., was the first to describe generativity, which unfolds at midlife and older adulthood. Generativity involves promoting and supporting the well-being of future generations (Malone, et al, 2016; Erikson, 1963). Thus, older adults are well-suited to mentor and help younger people, sharing knowledge, wisdom, and ideas including navigating the challenges of daily life, conflicts, relationships, social skills, decision-making, and perspective-taking.

Robert Waldinger, Ph.D., director of the Harvard Longevity Study, asks how can we build our “social fitness” (2022). Relationships don’t just happen. We need to seek them out, tend to them, and take care of them.

How can we seek out healthy relationships between generations? Perhaps the first step is to simply be aware of their mutual benefits and watch for opportunities to engage in healthy and meaningful ways — not only with people of our own age cohort, but with those folks younger and older than we are.

Relationships of similar ages and across ages — relationships with friends, family, acquaintances, and communities — can strengthen our well-being and happiness. Healthy, meaningful relationships between young and old can be mutually beneficial in helping all generations flourish and develop toward their purpose and potential. And on a large scale in a systems-wide way, more substantive and effective programs need to be developed to accomplish this outcome.

What can you do? In your own life and community, how can you get more involved in intergenerational service with youth and/or young adults?

Do you take the initiative to safely reach out to others beyond your own age group? You might want to establish some routines that increase opportunities to engage with others. Waldinger suggests getting more comfortable simply starting up casual interactions with others during your day (2022). For example, pausing to say hello or having a brief conversation with someone you meet when you’re taking a walk, at the grocery store, sharing a meal, or connecting with others around shared interests.

To engage with others of different ages, you might seek opportunities to reach out and volunteer through local organizations, such as a local teen center, township office, senior center, religious organizations, scouting, school programs, tutoring at a local library or school, or getting involved in special programs.

Engaging in intergenerational relationships can be transformative for young and old across generations. How might you make a positive difference?

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. No content is a substitute for consulting with a qualified mental health or healthcare professional.

© 2025 Ilene Berns-Zare, LLC, All Rights Reserved

References

Brooks, A. (2022). From Strength to Strength: Finding success, happiness and deep purpose in the second half of life. New York, NY: Portfolio Publishing.

Erikson, E. H. (1963). Childhood and society (Vol. 2). New York, NY: Norton.

Kessler, E.-M., & Staudinger, U. M. (2007). Intergenerational potential: Effects of social interaction between older adults and adolescents. Psychology and Aging, 22(4), 690–704. https://doi.org/10.1037/0882-7974.22.4.690

Malone, J. C., Liu, S. R., Vaillant, G. E., Rentz, D. M., & Waldinger, R. J. (2016). Midlife Eriksonian psychosocial development: Setting the stage for late-life cognitive and emotional health. Developmental psychology, 52(3), 496.

Newberry, L. (2023). What We’re missing Out on When We Don’t Have Intergenerational Relationships, Personally and Professionally. https://www.latimes.com/california/newsletter/2023-04-11/what-were-missing-out-on-when-we-dont-have-intergenerational-relationships-personally-and-collectively-group-therapy

Stanford Center on Longevity. (2016). Hidden In Plain Sight: How intergenerational relationships can transform our future. chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://longevity.stanford.edu/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Monograph_web_07_11_2016.pdf

Welcome to the Harvard Study of Adult Development (2015). https://www.adultdevelopmentstudy.org/

Waldinger, R. (2022). TED – 7 Years Later: Harvard Study of Adult Development. https://www.adultdevelopmentstudy.org/

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