Happiness
30 Tips for Greater Happiness
A menu of positive habits for a more fulfilling life.
Posted October 11, 2022 Reviewed by Michelle Quirk
Key points
- Each day of our lives we make many choices.
- Although you can’t control external events, you can choose how you’ll respond.
- Five components to promoting a happier, more fulfilling life are positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning, and accomplishment.
We typically experience happiness and fulfillment one moment at a time. Throughout our days, we make lots of choices. While we cannot control events around us, we can choose how much we let external events affect our well-being, and how we live the moments of our lives.
Positive psychology’s PERMA model highlights many practices that can help us strengthen our happiness and well-being (Boniwell, 2012; Seligman, 2011; Ben Shahar, 2007). The acronym PERMA offers five evidence-informed components to promote a happier, more fulfilling life—Positive emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment. To propel ourselves toward greater flourishing, each of these five components is important.
Here are a few simple ideas to help you empower yourself with fulfilling moments. You might think of this menu as a choice board, bingo board, or calendar—and then experiment with a different idea each day or weekly.
Is there an area of your life that could benefit from more attention?
P - Positive Emotions
- Take a gratitude break. Think about or write down three things that went well today (Emmons, 2007).
- Give yourself time to do an activity that helps you feel more balanced.
- Listen to an uplifting song or read an inspiring story or poem.
- Pay attention to what you’re thankful for.
- Sing in the shower—just for fun, no judgment.
- Pause between bites of food and savor the taste.
E - Engagement
- Think about one of your top character strengths and use it with greater awareness today.
- What do you like to do so much that time seems to stand still? How can you make time to do it more often?
- Take a one-hour break from electronic devices and invite yourself to truly focus on what you’re doing.
- Do something you love for 15 minutes.
- Pay attention to what you’re doing, even if it’s a mundane task.
- Participate in an activity or do something you really love.
R - Relationships
- Connect with a friend or acquaintance in person or via video chat (Fredrickson, 2013).
- Send a note to someone you care about—email, text, or send a letter by mail.
- Take a step to create a friendship with someone you are acquainted with (Waldinger, 2015).
- Do something nice for someone.
- Become aware of your cultural biases. Can you take one action toward greater equity and inclusion in your own life (Wilkerson, 2020)?
- Speak less, listen carefully, then think before you speak.
M - Meaning
- Pause. At least three times today, notice that you are breathing.
- Take one small action to become more of the person you really want to be.
- Find a few minutes today to do something you find meaningful.
- Learn something new—a new fact, idea, or insight.
- Remember there’s always a choice. What are some of your options?
- Consider developing a mission statement or vision for your life—jot down a few notes.
A - Accomplishment
- What’s one goal you want to achieve? Take just one action today toward achieving it. And then take another action tomorrow.
- As you are thinking about or pursuing your goal, remind yourself why you’re doing it or why it’s important.
- Visualize yourself reaching your goal.
- Plan realistically—break a task into right-sized chunks.
- Take an action toward your goal—create just a 1 percent change.
- If you can’t take a step toward your goal today, then what will you do instead to help yourself get there?
Which area(s) of your life do you choose to focus on to help you flourish?
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. No content is a substitute for consulting with a qualified mental health or health care professional.
©2022 Ilene Berns-Zare, LLC, All Rights Reserved
This post also appears on the Ilene Berns-Zare coaching website.
References
Ben-Shahar, T. (2007). Happier. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
Boniwell, I. (2012, 3rd Printing). Positive psychology in a nutshell. New York, NY: Open University Press.
Emmons, R.A. (2007). Thanks! How the new science of gratitude can make you happier. Houghton Mifflin Company, Boston.
Fredrickson, B.L. (2013). Love 2.0: How our supreme emotion affects everything we feel, think, do, and become. New York, NY: Hudson Street Press.
Lustig, R.H. (2021). Metabolical: The lure and the lies of processed food, nutrition, and modern medicine. New York, NY: Harper Wave.
Seligman, M.E.P. (2011). Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being. New York, NY: Atria Paperback.
Via Institute on Character: https://www.viacharacter.org/character-strengths-via
Waldinger R.J. (November, 2015) What makes a good life: Lessons from the longest study on happiness. https://www.ted.com/talks/robert_waldinger_what_makes_a_good_life_lessons_from_the_longest_study_on_happiness
Walker, M. (2017). Why we sleep: Unlocking the power of sleep and dreams. New York, NY: Scribner.
Wilkerson, I. (2020). Caste (Oprah's Book Club): The origins of our discontents. New York, NY: Random House.