How a "Change Sampler" Can Help You Reach Your Goals

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Perhaps you do it in January, on your birthday, when you’re finally fed up or have painted yourself into a corner. The resolution, the campaign, the “this time” declaration that you’re finally going to do what you haven’t been doing.

You probably know what happens next: You drop your gym membership a month after you started; you’re back to having that glass of wine or that bowl of pot “to help you relax” after a couple of weeks; you pay your bills or clean up your bedroom three weekends in a row, but then it’s over, all except for the kicking yourself.

Often, the problem is that you’ve taken too big a bite; your campaign is a white-knuckled, forced march through hell. If this rings true, I have a suggestion for you. Rather than diving into the water from the high dive platform, wade in with baby steps, the way you tested the waters when you were a kid. Challenge yourself to one week of change, doing what you haven’t been able to do successfully. Just one week—call it a change sampler.

The Benefits of a "Change Sampler"

1. You get a taste of what it feels like. This helps you understand what’s too much, too little, and what’s just right.
2. You’re still rewiring your brain, breaking habits and routines that keep you on autopilot. Just as the most important part of dealing with anxiety is learning to approach and gradually tolerate the feeling of anxiety, this baby-step pace lets you gradually tolerate change, and that is the ultimate goal.
3. You adopt an attitude of curiosity and experimentation, stepping back, reducing pressure, observing, and making adjustments. The forced-march approach is myopic, with tunnel vision. You’re only able to see your feet rather than what lies ahead and the bigger landscape.

Ground Rules for Trying a "Change Sampler" in Your Own Life

• It’s only for one week. After that, you can decide what’s next.
• You set the pace. Whatever you're doing may not be every day, but a few days a week. Or not three hours, but one, or half, not all. The goal is to start with something realistic that has a chance of success.
• Chart your experience. Like a scientist conducting an experiment, take notes; at the end of the day, assess what you did, how it felt, and lessons learned.
• Tell others or not; it’s up to you. If telling others what you’re doing helps with support and accountability, tell them. If it’s going to just put more pressure on you, don’t.

Some suggestions:

• Cut back on your strongest habits and vices—whether that's drinking too much, smoking too much, eating too much, watching porn, scrolling social media, etc.
• Change your weekend, day off, or after-work routines.
• Change what you wear.
• Journal more, meditate more, exercise more.
• Do what you’ve been procrastinating on: pay bills, file taxes, paint your deck.
• Clean more or clean less.
• Take a social risk: Go to a party you would generally avoid; speak up in a meeting where you normally wouldn't; call up an old friend; etc.
• Re-engage in a hobby you’ve dropped: drawing, playing a musical instrument, knitting, birdwatching, etc.
• Be more affectionate and/or complimentary toward your partner, your kids, or the people you work with or supervise.

How to Assess Your Progress After a Week of Small Changes

After one week of this, pause and take stock. How do you feel? What changes have you noticed in yourself, your attitude about yourself, your relationships, your view of your life?

What are the next steps? Do you want to do it again? Would it help to change the pace? Focus on something different? Go back to what you were doing before, maybe with a different attitude—or not?

Regardless of the answers, a change sampler is a win-win experience. You can’t do it wrong or badly—at least if you approach it with this stance of curiosity and experimentation. If you're ready, give it a try and see what happens. You might be surprised by what you discover.