How to Make Your Partner Look Good

Source: Courtesy of Pexels, Arina Kasnikova

In my previous post, I discussed how one of the core principles of improv “Yes, and” can enhance relationships, as it better prepares couples to recognize and accept emotional bids, or requests for connection. Another principle, “Making your partner look good, collaboration is key” can also be used to illustrate just how useful improv is when it comes to strengthening your partnerships

Benefits of Improv

Improv, or the art of building a scene around audience suggestions (Poissant, 2018), is a creative process that involves a connection between fellow players, the audience, and a narrative thread. Improvisors, or players are often skilled in their spontaneity, creativity, and their ability to be present. Additionally, improv requires adaptability and the ability to accept the influence of others, which in turn, involves cognitive flexibility and vulnerability.

Improv can improve communication and collaboration, and lead to the ability to take risks (Lemons, 2005). It also strengthens comfort with uncertainty, team management skills, self-reflection, active listening, non-verbal communication, trust, resilience, and confidence (Gao and colleagues, 2019). Additionally, it can enhance self-expression and joy, lead to feelings of safety, and assist in moving toward self-actualization (Lemons, 2005).

Improv requires people to stretch their active listening muscles and to be present. It is common for a person to know what they want to say and steer the conversation to communicate that point, something often seen in formal settings such as work and informal settings like a social gathering. This occurs at the expense of fully listening to and engaging with other conversation partners. Dohe and Pappas (2015) share that we must step outside of our comfort zone and not simply repeat ourselves without considering our circumstances, as “[t]here is a difference between talking at and talking with, especially if the subject has been covered before." In that respect, improv requires us to go beyond just listening, but actually hearing, understanding, and affirming those with whom we engage.

Making Your Partner Look Good

Making your partner look good involves considering what you can add to the scene, rather than detracting from it. Improv is inherently a collaborative process. Each participant, or player, along with their partner creates a scene in response to a suggestion. Cole (2016) notes that “successful improv involves mutual engagement and support between the performers in the present moment to spontaneously co-create scenes and sometimes, entire plays for audience enjoyment."

Your personal goal is to give to your partner, and your partner’s goal is hopefully the same. You are looking out for one another, rather than focusing on the self. With each player on the team acting accordingly, you are inherently involved in a collaborative process. This connects with the aforementioned idea of emotional bids. Improvisers are going beyond affirmation (the “yes, and”) to validation, by making their teammates look good.

In doing this, you prioritize collaboration, support, trust, and respect. Applying these same foundational principles to a relationship can help foster a deeper connection between you and your partner as you are creating a safe and supportive environment.

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