Rom-Coms: Can a Movie Genre Impact Our Perceptions of Love?

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It’s peak romantic comedy season. Several stations have this genre in heavy rotation as the time leading up to the holidays and through Valentine’s Day is the period in which a new meet-cute romance hits our screens almost every weekend. These movies are easily digestible, fun to watch, and often provide us with feel good experience. People may also be drawn to them as they often depict an idealized version of a relationship where anything, in both the partnership and life itself, is possible.

There are many reasons why viewers choose to watch these movies. Some may identify with the characters and watch them to in order to reinforce their own identity, whereas others may want to learn and expand their knowledge about relationships. Some may watch solely for entertainment purposes (Hefner, 2016).

It is important not to assume that all viewers consistently separate the information absorbed from the movie from their perceptions and expectations of relationships. In fact, research has demonstrated that people who watch rom-coms in order to learn about relationship demonstrate stronger endorsements of romantic ideal beliefs than those who did not watch to learn (Hefner & Wilson, 2012). While often enjoyable, what might we be learning from watching rom-coms?

Picture of Love

Romantic comedies often follow a protagonist who goes through a series of steps (sometimes challenging) to meet their soulmate. Along the way, hijinks ensue, and the protagonist may even get thrown off from their goal by another suitor. But, by the end of the movie, the match is made, and all is well in the world and within the relationship. While often involving interesting, yet overly predicable story arcs, these tales can be damaging to our view of relationships.

Viewers may be left to believe that there is one “perfect” person out there for us, that a relationship is predestined to either work or not, and that if you find your true match the relationship is bound to succeed. These beliefs are destiny beliefs, and comprise what is known as a fixed mindset.

A fixed mindset is the belief that skills or abilities are set in stone, as opposed to a growth mindset, or the belief that our capabilities are malleable. The former mindset can be damaging to our connections. Research conducted with 30 individuals between the ages of 18 and 50 demonstrated that that participants who had growth mindsets derived greater satisfaction from their relationships and were less sensitive to rejection. Narratives provided by the respondents backed up the quantitative results, as they reported learning from the challenges they faced with their partners (Shashwati & Kansal, 2019).

Romantic comedies may also provide an unrealistic view of the way in which people meet their partners as not every real-life experience begins with a meet cute. These movies also often instill the idea that love is effortless. Yes, there are movies that include a series of highly implausible challenges that a person must overcome on the way to a blissful life with their soulmate. However, the relationships themselves as often presented as effortless, and even the obstacles they face are dwarfed in comparison by the happy life they lead on the other end, conveying the message that love conquers all.

Additionally, these movies may encourage idealized views of relationships and partners which can be problematic. Holding a positive view of our partners can foster good feelings and make us more likely to work through challenges, however this can’t be generalized to all partners or all circumstances. Embracing an idealized version of a partner can have negative consequences when it comes to us overlooking problems in the relationship, some of which might be dangerous (i.e. abuse). Partners may romanticize the relationship and thus mask negative aspects, leading them to stay in unsafe and unsatisfying relationships (McNulty et al., 2008).

Representation

While there is certainly more diversity depicted in rom-coms in recent years, representation in these movies is far from perfect. The movies often focus on white, cis, heteronormative couples, and the inclusion of any gender, cultural, or ethnic diversity is often relegated to minor characters. As noted, this criticism may not have gone unnoticed by studio executives, as the types of relationships depicted in rom-coms is expanding, but there is still a long way to go.

In addition to the partnerships depicted, the characteristics of the individuals are often stereotypical. Similar to the Disney movie of yesteryear, women are often portrayed as needing to be saved by men and men are often shown emotionally unavailable until their one perfect match can convince them otherwise. Absorbing this messages can be harmful.

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As with any source of media, it is important for viewers to be discerning of what they watch and the messages they receive. While there are certainly limitations to rom-coms, which if left unchecked can alter our beliefs, if we are watching them for enjoyment purposes, they can be a possible antidote to the daily stresses we face. It is also imperative for those involved in the film industry to present more diverse stories and characters so that the movies we watch are more reflective of real people and real relationships.