Expanding for the Holidays: Give the Gift of a Shared Experience

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With the holidays approaching, many emotions can arise ranging from anxiety to excitement. When it comes to sources of stress one aspect of the season that many people find challenging is picking out a present for loved ones, especially for partners. Choosing the “perfect gift” can be tricky, as we may feel like we’ve exhausted all of the gift-giving options after having spent many holiday seasons together.

When considering gifts, it’s not the present itself, but the message behind it that makes the exchange meaningful and significant (Zhang & Epley, 2012). We want our gift to be thoughtful and reflect our feelings toward our partner. Instead of stressing over finding another item to wrap, consider giving an experience-based gift this holiday season. Not only will this help you to create lasting memories, but it can lead to both personal and relationship expansion. Before providing some practical experience-based gift tips, let’s discuss the self-expansion model.

Self-Expansion Model

The self-expansion model, initially conceived of by psychologist Arthur Aron, posits that when we enter a new relationship, there are many opportunities to expand or grow. A person benefits from learning from their partner and grows as a result of sharing ideas, interests, and resources. This can lead to personal development and growth and has important implications for relationships. Research has demonstrated that couples who participated in new and exciting activities together reported greater marital satisfaction than those who engaged in regular activities (Reissman et al., 1993). This is because shared activities not only help a couple to create memories, but enable them to practice novel skills, potentially see different perspectives, and bond over a new, shared identity. Through the sharing of new activities and perspectives, each individual and the couple as a unit has the potential to transform.

To help strengthen your bond during the holidays, here are a couple of experience-based gift ideas to make the season even more special.

Take a Class Together

If your partner loves a particular type of cuisine, try finding a cooking class that specializes in it. You’ll get to enjoy each other’s company, learn a new skill, and (hopefully) take home some delicious food. Plus, you’ll have a fun recipe to recreate together down the road. If food isn’t your thing, select lessons that are meaningful to your partner. Does your partner love a certain pastime? Or is there something they’ve always wanted to try? Getting lessons together, whether in a sport or a hobby, can be a great bonding experience.

Plan a Weekend Getaway

Escape from daily stress by planning a short weekend trip focused on spending time together. Look for a spot that’s just a couple of hours away, so you can get there quickly and enjoy a relaxed mini-adventure. Consider choosing a destination with seasonal activities, like skiing or ice skating, or simply cozying up by a fireplace. Be sure to consider your partner’s preferences, though as a ski retreat won’t be enjoyable if they’re not a fan of the outdoors.

Rather than viewing gift selection as a stressful task, see it as an opportunity to plan quality time together and expand. Choose an experience that’s meaningful to your partner and use it as a way to create wonderful new memories.