Finding Love

A new map of the path to intimacy

Relationships
The Three Stages of Successful Dating: Where Do You Land?

Ken Page L.C.S.W. on December 31, 2018

There are three stages in the journey to healthy romantic love. To understand the challenges and possibilities in your dating life, it's invaluable to know which stage you occupy.

There are three stages in the journey to healthy romantic love. To understand the challenges and possibilities in your dating life, it's invaluable to know which stage you occupy.

Relationships
The Harmful Myth About Needing to Be Loved

Ken Page L.C.S.W. on August 6, 2018

Of all the harmful myths we’re fed about dating and love, one of the most insidious is the belief that intense longing for love is a weakness and not a strength.

Of all the harmful myths we’re fed about dating and love, one of the most insidious is the belief that intense longing for love is a weakness and not a strength.

Gender
How Gender Role Stereotypes Are Crippling Our Love Lives

Ken Page L.C.S.W. on April 3, 2018

Sadly, our love lives are being hamstrung by a sneaky brand of modern stealth-sexism. Here's how we're being set up for failure — and what to do about it.

Sadly, our love lives are being hamstrung by a sneaky brand of modern stealth-sexism. Here's how we're being set up for failure — and what to do about it.

Anxiety
The Most Self-Affirming Gift You Can Give Yourself

Ken Page L.C.S.W. on February 14, 2018

The tyranny of our task list (including the relentless call to self-improvement) all too frequently distracts us from the two most important questions for a well-lived life:

The tyranny of our task list (including the relentless call to self-improvement) all too frequently distracts us from the two most important questions for a well-lived life:

Relationships
The Greatest Lesson of Love—Taught By Donald Trump

Ken Page L.C.S.W. on December 12, 2017

This is the most urgent lesson of love: Stay away from toxic relationships. When we ignore that lesson, we marry misery. Which is precisely what is happening in our country.

This is the most urgent lesson of love: Stay away from toxic relationships. When we ignore that lesson, we marry misery. Which is precisely what is happening in our country.

Happiness
The Essential Happiness Skill No One Teaches Us

Ken Page L.C.S.W. on November 7, 2017

Few of us are taught one of the greatest happiness skills of all: learning to bear our joy. This lovely two-minute practice will teach you exactly how.

Few of us are taught one of the greatest happiness skills of all: learning to bear our joy. This lovely two-minute practice will teach you exactly how.

Relationships
Considering Reconciliation? Answer These Questions First

Ken Page L.C.S.W. on October 25, 2017

Real love is an ongoing saga of "rupture and repair.” Trying to reconcile is brave. It's hopeful. But if you want it to actually work, be sure to answer the following questions.

Real love is an ongoing saga of "rupture and repair.” Trying to reconcile is brave. It's hopeful. But if you want it to actually work, be sure to answer the following questions.

Relationships
How to Discover Your Intimacy Shadow

Ken Page L.C.S.W. on August 28, 2017

To unshackle your capacity for deep intimacy, learn to reclaim the important parts of yourself you suppress. This simple question will help you discover your own "intimacy shadow."

To unshackle your capacity for deep intimacy, learn to reclaim the important parts of yourself you suppress. This simple question will help you discover your own "intimacy shadow."

Mating
3 Tips for Finding the Perfect Partner for You

Ken Page L.C.S.W. on June 6, 2017

Most dating advice promises lasting love, but erodes our chance of ever finding it. The secret to success isn't about your attractiveness. It's about your attractions.

Most dating advice promises lasting love, but erodes our chance of ever finding it. The secret to success isn't about your attractiveness. It's about your attractions.

Attention
Developing Deep Attention: The Key to True Intimacy

Ken Page L.C.S.W. on April 4, 2017

An interview with ADHD expert Edward Hallowell, M.D., who teaches five simple steps to cultivate deep attention, the key to a life filled with intimacy.

An interview with ADHD expert Edward Hallowell, M.D., who teaches five simple steps to cultivate deep attention, the key to a life filled with intimacy.

Relationships
Trump, Love, and the Presidency

Ken Page L.C.S.W. on November 7, 2016

As a psychotherapist specializing in the search for intimacy, I note the striking parallels between the ways we choose a life-mate and the way we choose our president.

As a psychotherapist specializing in the search for intimacy, I note the striking parallels between the ways we choose a life-mate and the way we choose our president.

Mating
Why Popular Dating Advice Is Keeping You Single

Ken Page L.C.S.W. on September 10, 2016

Popular dating advice consistently leads single people away from the very love they are seeking. Research explains why this is and what to do about it.

Popular dating advice consistently leads single people away from the very love they are seeking. Research explains why this is and what to do about it.

Leadership
The Six Steps to Sacred Citizenship

Ken Page L.C.S.W. on July 5, 2016

According to Stephen Dinan, author of the Sacred America, there are six steps each of us can take that create world-change and personal joy. Here are those six steps:

According to Stephen Dinan, author of the Sacred America, there are six steps each of us can take that create world-change and personal joy. Here are those six steps:

Relationships
Losing Love—and Finding It Again

Ken Page L.C.S.W. on May 13, 2016

My extraordinary father recently passed away at 90. How he freed himself from hate’s grip, healed his relationship with me, and reclaimed his love for his wife is a story of hope.

My extraordinary father recently passed away at 90. How he freed himself from hate’s grip, healed his relationship with me, and reclaimed his love for his wife is a story of hope.

Relationships
A Research-Backed Recipe for Deep Romance on Valentines Day

Ken Page L.C.S.W. on February 13, 2016

These two exercises are a research-backed recipe for a profoundly romantic Valentine’s Day; they will deepen your long-term bond, reduce stress, and even improve your day-after!

These two exercises are a research-backed recipe for a profoundly romantic Valentine’s Day; they will deepen your long-term bond, reduce stress, and even improve your day-after!

Relationships
An Intimacy Micro-Meditation For Your New Year

Ken Page L.C.S.W. on January 1, 2016

Recognizing the value of the intimacy gifts we have already is one of the greatest ways to improve our lives. This short practice will help you discover your own intimacy gifts.

Recognizing the value of the intimacy gifts we have already is one of the greatest ways to improve our lives. This short practice will help you discover your own intimacy gifts.

Relationships
Three Liberating Insights for Single People

Ken Page L.C.S.W. on December 18, 2015

Here are the three most liberating insights I know for single people. Follow them, and you’ll change the course of your dating life in surprising and wonderful ways.

Here are the three most liberating insights I know for single people. Follow them, and you’ll change the course of your dating life in surprising and wonderful ways.

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November 2025
Healing Family Splits

Cut-offs cut deep and wide, their emotional impact reverberating far beyond the combatants. Because much of the suffering is hidden, repair is challenging for everyone, not least of all therapists.

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Self Tests

Self Tests are all about you. Are you outgoing or introverted? Are you a narcissist? Does perfectionism hold you back? Find out the answers to these questions and more with Psychology Today.

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