22 Reasons Why Time Alone Can Be Good for You

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Is there anything wrong with spending time alone? It depends.

For some individuals, spending too much time alone may indicate the presence of emotional problems (e.g., shame, paranoia), social difficulties (e.g., being subjected to bullying or discrimination), and increase the chances of developing mental illness, especially anxiety disorders and depression.

In many other cases, however, choosing to spend time alone does not mean one is socially isolated, experiences chronic feelings of loneliness, or is mentally ill.

There is nothing inherently wrong with spending time on one’s own. In fact, taking breaks from too much socializing may have health advantages. What matters is how that time is used.

To shed more light on the uses of solitude, I discuss a recent paper by Ren and colleagues, published in the Journal of Personality, which discusses potential reasons scheduling me-time may be beneficial.

The 22 functions of spending time alone

Building on a pilot study involving college students (N = 1,542), the authors conducted a pre-registered study with 501 American adults (average age of 46 years old). Participants were asked to rank the importance of 22 functions of alone time:

1. Achievement: Avoiding distractions in order to focus on important tasks and to gain achievements.
2. Anonymity: Behaving however one pleases, without worrying what others might think.
3. Avoiding unpleasant interactions: Preventing exposure to negative interactions and unfair treatment—situations where one is excluded or discriminated against.
4. Creativity: Expressing oneself through art, music, poetry, and other creative activities.
5. Emotion regulation: Coping with challenging emotions (e.g., stress, anxiety, depression, grief).
6. Escapism: Escaping daily duties and obligatory social engagements.
7. Health: Recovering from an illness or other causes of physical discomfort.
8. Independence: Becoming more independent and autonomous.
9. Inner peace: Feeling more at peace and free from life’s daily pressures.
10. Intimacy: Feeling close to an absent loved one (e.g., remembering an absent lover or parent who passed away recently).
11. Leisure: Engaging in leisure activities and hobbies—reading, listening to music, gardening, gaming, etc.
12. Nature: Exploring and connecting with the natural world.
13. Privacy: Experiencing more privacy and safety.
14. Problem-solving: Thinking about difficult decisions one needs to make and coming to a resolution.
15. Quietness: Enjoying a noise-free environment.
16. Reducing infection risks: Reducing in-person contact and potential infection.
17. Relaxation: Relaxing and restoring one’s energy.
18. Religious experience: Deepening faith and spiritual connection.
19. Routines: Performing daily routines (e.g., exercising, getting work done).
20. Self-discovery: Gaining insight into one’s strengths, weaknesses, goals, and values.
21. Self-reflection: Reflecting on thoughts and feelings.
22. Traveling: Gaining freedom from the restraints, customs, habits, and other aspects of a familiar environment.

The researchers then analyzed the interactions of alone-time functions with personal characteristics (e.g., age, gender, personality). These findings are described in the next section.

Why do people value solitude?

Ren et al. found that both the purpose of spending time alone and the person’s characteristics “contributed to the variability of perceived importance of solitude (person: 22%; solitude function: 15%)” and that “individual idiosyncratic preferences (person–by-solitude function interaction) had a substantial impact (46%).”

Additional data analyses focused on how the functions of solitude interacted with personality traits, specifically the Big Five personality traits.

The Big Five consists of five personality domains:

• Extraversion: associated with being assertive, gregarious, and enthusiastic.
• Neuroticism: Neurotic individuals tend to be anxious, emotional, and self-conscious.
• Openness to experience: Linked with intellectual, imaginative, and artistic tendencies.
• Conscientiousness. Conscientious people are seen as organized, dutiful, and competent.
• Agreeableness: Being trusting, sympathetic, cooperative, etc.

The results showed the Big Five was predictive of several functions of solitude. In other words, being high on a particular personality trait predicted how that person would spend their me-time:

• People high in neuroticism spent the time engaging in emotion regulation.
• Those high in openness focused on creativity and self-discovery.
• Conscientious individuals increased their productivity.
• Introverts relaxed and restored their energy.

The Big Five was not predictive of other functions of solitude. For instance, privacy—reportedly the most important reason for spending time alone—was not uniquely associated with any personality dimension of the Big Five.

Takeaway

Choosing to spend time alone is not the same as experiencing loneliness—which, by the way, continues to be stigmatized and misunderstood.

For example, one could feel lonely in the middle of a crowd, even if talking at length with numerous people. Another person, in contrast, may spend a lot of time alone without feeling lonely.

What matters is not the fact of spending time alone but the how and why. It also depends on the way the functions of solitude interact with personality.

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It is important to remember that this is true not just for you but also for others in your life.

If you are in a close relationship (e.g., parent-child, romantic relationship), respect the other person’s need for personal space and alone time. And keep in mind that they may not use their time the way you prefer to or enjoy doing.

To illustrate, a friend of mine who is an introverted social worker uses her free time mostly to relax and recharge, whereas her highly conscientious husband uses it to catch up on unfinished work.

Both uses are fine.

So, I leave you with a few questions:

• What is your attitude toward yourself or others who spend time alone? For example, is it something that normal and healthy people do? Or do you associate it with being lonely, socially isolated, lazy, eccentric, or narcissistic?
• What is the source of your attitude? (e.g., parents, spouse, the media).
• How much time alone do you spend each week? Is it by choice?
• How do you use that time? How would you like to use it in the future? For a reminder, review the 22 functions of solitude listed earlier.

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