What Financial Stress Does to Relationships

Worldwide, financial stress and uncertainty are increasing amidst recessions and lingering affordability crises stemming from the pandemic. According to the Gallup Index, 57 percent of U.S. Americans reported being moderately or very worried about not having enough money to maintain their standard of living, and an American Psychological Association study found that 72 percent of participants reported that money is a significant source of stress for them.

Feeling stressed about finances comes with many downsides

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Decades of research have underlined the pernicious effects of feeling stressed and worried about finances. Financial stress affects people’s moods, as worrying about one’s financial situation or economic insecurity in general has been linked to feeling more upset, stressed, angry, and sad—and less carefree or happy. Financial stress can also affect people’s capacity to think rationally and pay attention. In studies assessing the ability to pay attention to conflicting information, this ability was weakened at times when money was tight (e.g., before payday).

It is also known that financial stress often spells trouble for relationships, increasing financial conflict in the home. For example, in a study following couples over three weeks, daily feelings of financial stress were linked to less relationship satisfaction, not just in the person feeling stressed but also in their partner.

As relationship researchers, we were interested in examining the role of financial stress in relationships further. Both worsened mood and a reduced ability to pay attention may affect interactions with close others in relationships—people might not notice their partner’s supportive behaviors or might interpret ambiguous behaviors negatively. For example, someone feeling worried and stressed about their financial situation might interpret their partner’s questions as criticism (“Have you locked the door?” may be seen as an accusation rather than a friendly reminder).

Together with my student Odin Fisher-Skau and colleague Samantha Joel, we set out to examine the link between financial stress and the extent to which people reported noticing their partner acting supportive or acting in a number of negative ways (such as teasing, neglect, or expressing distrust). In two studies, participants who worried about finances more perceived their partner as less supportive and reported more negative behaviors (teasing, neglect, or expressing distrust) from their partner. We also asked our participants’ partners to report on what behaviors they actually did over the same course of time to compare the behaviors one partner noticed and the behavior the other one said they’d done. The partners did not report acting any differently, suggesting that financial stress biased people’s perception towards seeing their partner’s behavior more negatively.

Seeing the world more clearly without the dark-tinted glasses of financial stress.

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It may be that the feelings of worry, upset, and sadness, along with financial stress, lead people in relationships to pay more attention to negative or less attention to positive behaviors from their partner. It may also be that having a lot of financial worries on one’s mind might change the interpretation of ambiguous statements that may be well-meaning but are taken as criticism, teasing, or expressed distrust.

Overall, these studies suggest that financial concerns in close relationships might lead people to view their partner’s actions through dark-tinted glasses. Relationships may run better—especially in times of financial stress—when partners consider alternative, potentially benign interpretations of each other’s seemingly negative actions.