Feeling Our Way

Depression

Do You Use Your Yardsticks to Measure or to Whip?

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on February 18, 2025

Self-appraisal may worsen depression because the utility of self-appraisal depends on the attitude of the appraiser.

Self-appraisal may worsen depression because the utility of self-appraisal depends on the attitude of the appraiser.

Relationships

Stop Stereotyping Your Partner

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on January 20, 2025

Marriage is a hotbed of conflicts between character types, made worse by stereotyping one's partner.

Marriage is a hotbed of conflicts between character types, made worse by stereotyping one's partner.

Relationships

All Relationships Are Rebound Relationships

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on December 12, 2024

As you work toward your next relationship, find people who get you and not just the parts of yourself you’re proud of.

As you work toward your next relationship, find people who get you and not just the parts of yourself you’re proud of.

Therapy

"Save the Cat!" Does Therapy

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on November 1, 2024

Therapy rewrites the patient’s narrative about who they are, how the world works, and what the story is about.

Therapy rewrites the patient’s narrative about who they are, how the world works, and what the story is about.

Reaction Formation

Reaction Formation in Couples

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on October 1, 2024

Intimacy can be threatening and evokes defenses. The most blatant disguise is the mask that is the opposite of who we are.

Intimacy can be threatening and evokes defenses. The most blatant disguise is the mask that is the opposite of who we are.

Projection

Projective Identification in Couples

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on September 9, 2024

Couple’s therapists can help people face their fears instead of getting their partners to embody them.

Couple’s therapists can help people face their fears instead of getting their partners to embody them.

Grief

Thoughts on Children in Bereavement

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on August 1, 2024

A new children’s book helps to illuminate childhood grief.

A new children’s book helps to illuminate childhood grief.

Infidelity

Couple's Therapy After Infidelity

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on July 8, 2024

Sometimes, infidelity reveals rather than deviates from a person’s relational goals.

Sometimes, infidelity reveals rather than deviates from a person’s relational goals.

Marriage

9 Ways to Strengthen the Marriage Bond

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on June 11, 2024

Learn these strategies for laying a solid foundation in a romance.

Learn these strategies for laying a solid foundation in a romance.

Marriage

Are You the Main Character in Your Marriage?

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on May 2, 2024

3 ways to promote your spouse from supporting role to co-star.

3 ways to promote your spouse from supporting role to co-star.

Marriage

Can You Rate Your Marriage if You’re Bad at Marriage?

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on April 4, 2024

The skills that improve your relationship are the same ones needed to evaluate it.

The skills that improve your relationship are the same ones needed to evaluate it.

Therapy

Does Your Therapist Wonder Why You Said What You Said?

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on March 17, 2024

Good therapists are acutely attuned to their patients' reactions to what happens in therapy, and they explore those reactions together to keep the relationship on track.

Good therapists are acutely attuned to their patients' reactions to what happens in therapy, and they explore those reactions together to keep the relationship on track.

Therapy

Inside a Case of Couple's Therapy

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on December 4, 2023

Distinguishing a relationship both want from the patterns they typically veer into.

Distinguishing a relationship both want from the patterns they typically veer into.

Burnout

Burnout Among Therapists in Trying Times

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on November 8, 2023

It’s depressing to believe that the world is a bad place. Here are some healthier ways that therapists can respond instead.

It’s depressing to believe that the world is a bad place. Here are some healthier ways that therapists can respond instead.

Therapy

Should Your Therapist Look Like You?

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on October 2, 2023

Explore the patient’s expectations of therapy to avoid a misalliance around how alike the patient and therapist are.

Explore the patient’s expectations of therapy to avoid a misalliance around how alike the patient and therapist are.

Therapy

Secondary Gains From Psychotherapy

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on September 2, 2023

Good therapy resolves psychological conflicts that interfere with productive living, and it does a lot of other good as well.

Good therapy resolves psychological conflicts that interfere with productive living, and it does a lot of other good as well.

Therapy

Is Your Therapist a Model of Certainty?

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on August 1, 2023

Self-righteous therapists may claim either that they are right or that you are right without exploring the context or complexity of the issue.

Self-righteous therapists may claim either that they are right or that you are right without exploring the context or complexity of the issue.

Microaggression

A Theory for Marital Conflict

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on July 5, 2023

Therapy can help couples examine their unconscious putdowns and coordinate their personal narratives in a way that elevates both partners.

Therapy can help couples examine their unconscious putdowns and coordinate their personal narratives in a way that elevates both partners.

Mating

The Destructive Fantasy of Finding a Soulmate

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on June 12, 2023

The practices suppressed by searching for a soulmate are the cornerstones of relational satisfaction.

The practices suppressed by searching for a soulmate are the cornerstones of relational satisfaction.

Therapy

The Problems With Helicopter Therapists

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on May 22, 2023

The cure for coddling is not more coddling.

The cure for coddling is not more coddling.