Every Parent Faces the Pain of Seeing Their Child Struggle

As a therapist and a mother, I’ve walked this path many times—helping parents navigate the overwhelming and heart-wrenching reality of seeing their children suffer silently. No parent wants to believe their child might be struggling with thoughts of suicide, depression, or hopelessness. Yet, it’s a conversation that far too many of us need to have.

In 2024, teen and tween suicide rates have climbed to alarming levels. Whether you live in a bustling city or a quiet suburb, this epidemic knows no boundaries. It touches every family—rich, poor, urban, rural, and every neighborhood in between. Our children are hurting, and it's our job to notice, act, and be the unwavering support they need.

The Rising Crisis: A Heartbreaking Reality

The statistics are staggering. In 2023, nearly 40% of teens reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness. One in five considered suicide, and more than 10% made an attempt. These are not just numbers—they are our children, our future, facing a world where the weight of emotional pain is overwhelming. It’s a crisis that calls us to act—not tomorrow, but today.

What Every Parent Needs to Know

Today’s Kids Are More Connected and More Vulnerable

Our children are growing up in a world where technology is always available. Social media isn’t just a place to catch up with friends anymore. It’s where they learn about their self-worth, their identity, and in too many cases, how to self-destruct. They can find influencers who glamorize self-harm, chat rooms that normalize dangerous behavior, and posts that validate their darkest thoughts. It's a world where our children are constantly bombarded, often without us even realizing it.

Firearms and Gender Differences in Suicide Attempts

For many kids, access to firearms is a fatal game-changer. Males, tragically, are more likely to die from suicide, mainly due to the availability of lethal means. Females, on the other hand, attempt more frequently—but their methods are often less deadly. This discrepancy doesn’t lessen the urgency—whether they succeed or not, each attempt leaves an indelible scar on both the child and their family.

How to Recognize the Signs Your Child Is Struggling

I know how overwhelming this can feel as a parent. But you don’t have to be perfect. You just need to be present. Sometimes the signs of distress are subtle. Other times, they shout for attention. Either way, it’s your job to listen—and to act when needed.

1. Behavioral Changes

Is your child suddenly withdrawing from friends or activities they once loved? Are they increasingly isolating themselves? Changes in social behavior—especially pulling away from people they once trusted—are a red flag. If your child is pushing away those who care for them, it may be a sign that something deeper is going on.

2. Struggles with Anger or Aggression

Many kids, especially boys, will express emotional pain through anger rather than sadness. If you notice your child becoming easily frustrated, lashing out, or showing signs of violent thoughts, this could be a way they are internalizing their distress.

3. Trouble Maintaining Friendships

Having difficulty making or keeping friends can indicate something more serious than “just a phase.” If your child has always been social and is now struggling to connect with others, this may be a symptom of anxiety, depression, or even trauma.

4. A Sudden Interest in Risky Behavior

Is your child gravitating toward new friends you don’t trust or hanging out with kids who may be involved in risky activities like drugs, alcohol, or skipping school? These new influences can often lead to harmful coping mechanisms—coping mechanisms that might be their attempt at dealing with deeper emotional pain.

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5. Refusal to Go to School

A sudden refusal to go to school, combined with a lack of interest in other once-loved activities, could be a sign that your child is struggling. School can be a battleground for kids facing mental health issues—if they’re avoiding school, they may be trying to escape overwhelming emotions.

Starting the Conversation: The Most Crucial Step

As hard as it may be, the most important thing you can do as a parent is start the conversation. Sit with your child, look them in the eyes, and say, “I’m here for you. I believe you. Let’s talk.”

You don’t have to have all the answers. It’s not about solving everything at once. It’s about showing up. It’s about creating an environment where your child feels safe enough to share their darkest thoughts.

Don’t dismiss their pain with phrases like, “You’ll get over it” or “It’s just a phase.” Instead, say things like, “I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. Let’s work through it together.”

Normalize Mental Health Conversations

Start making mental health discussions as common as talking about a cold or a broken arm. It’s okay not to be OK. Let your child know that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. When you make it alright to talk about their struggles, you give them the power to seek help when they need it.

If You Notice Something, Don’t Stay Silent

Sometimes it’s not your child, but a friend or a neighbor. If you notice troubling signs in any child you know, speak up. Reach out. A simple “Hey, I’ve noticed that you seem off lately—is everything okay?” could be the lifeline they need. And if you're worried about being intrusive, remember that no one will ever regret offering compassion.

A Story of Hope

A mother I know shared a story of how her child had been silently struggling with suicidal thoughts, hiding behind a façade of normalcy. One day, a teacher reached out after noticing her son had been absent from school more often and had stopped participating in class. That teacher gently initiated a conversation that led to therapy and the support he needed to heal. It wasn’t easy, but it worked. And it saved him.

You don’t have to have all the answers. What you do need is the courage to show up for your child, for their friends, and for anyone who might be silently struggling.

A Call to Action: Show Up, No Matter What

Look into your child’s eyes today—not to find signs, but to truly see them. Acknowledge their struggles, even if they’re not vocalizing them. Tell them you love them unconditionally. Offer them your unwavering support, and help them navigate the stormy waters of adolescence with love, patience, and hope.

We can’t always prevent the storms, but we can be the lighthouse guiding them safely to shore.

It’s time to stop the silence. It’s time to offer our kids the love and support they need to heal. Together, we can break the stigma and give them a fighting chance.

Call for Action: If you’re concerned about your child, reach out today. If you notice a child in distress, don’t wait. Talk to a counselor, call a helpline, or speak to their school. Every conversation matters.

If you or someone you love is contemplating suicide, seek help immediately. For help 24/7 dial 988 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, or reach out to the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741. To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.