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Key points
- A major contributor to maintaining the second mistake is perfectionism.
- When all else fails, the denied mistake may lead to blaming others.
- By having a growth mindset, mistakes can be viewed as opportunities rather than impediments.
- Perhaps now we can see our mistakes as a starting point rather than an end point.
“Mistakes are the portals of discovery.”- James Joyce
We all make mistakes but how do we respond to them? Some of us will be defensive and justify reasons for the mistake. Some of us will feel shame. Others may develop a sense of guilt. Still others may self-blame or blame others. We may even feel like a failure, at least temporarily. What we do in our response to our mistakes is critical to our self-esteem and our potential to learn from them.
The second mistake is not just making the same mistake again. More significantly, the second mistake, as outlined here, is really more about still being focused on the first mistake. That is the essence of second mistake.
According to Joyce, our mistakes are potentially more about some personal discovery and expansion of knowledge in the making. This discovery will be tainted if it is clouded by feeling defensive or shamed. Our ability to learn and glean something of value from our mistakes or failures could just as easily be lost should we miss the opportunity to view our mistakes differently.
Subscribing to the Second Mistake
A major contributor to maintaining the second mistake is perfectionism. When someone believes they must be perfect they cannot accept their mistakes. They will ruminate on their mistakes for days or weeks.
Their belief in the possibility of being perfect keeps them stuck. We know that this belief is false but struggle to extricate ourselves from the illusion of perfection.
The power of the illusion of perfection may lead one into denial. We may refuse to admit to making a mistake. This sets the person up to continue making the same mistake due to the absence of learning from that mistake.
When all else fails, the denied mistake may lead to blaming others. This projection onto others attempts to disavow the mistake entirely. We are now entrenched in the second mistake. Our feeble attempts to avoid responsibility for our mistake, and our continued focus on our mistake, is the catalyst to the inevitable second mistake.
“If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.” – Woody Allen
Learning From Our Mistakes
Progress will begin with recognizing rather than denying our mistakes. Now we can begin the work of learning the valuable lessons that our mistakes can reveal. These learning revelations will lead the learner in new directions previously unknown. The error paves the way to a new awareness. This new awareness is the evolving formulation of a person’s growth mindset.
By having a growth mindset, mistakes can be viewed as opportunities rather than impediments (1). This growth mindset, will allow us to see obstacles as challenges rather than just threats. Challenge and potential growth spurs positive action rather than perceived fear.
Our motivation is improved due to the mistake being reframed as experiential growth. Engagement and effort are increased. Outcomes are seen as unfolding rather than fixed. We are now into the process of turning our mistakes into productive learning.
The second mistake is now history. Our focus is on the present analysis of the issue at hand and its future outcome and not the used-by dated past. We have replaced the dysfunctional with the functional.
The First Mistake
Perhaps now we can see our mistakes as a starting point rather than an end point. We can develop a new confidence in our ability to stay with the process rather than give into it. Our resilience will grow along with our successes. Perfectionistic attitudes may finally wilt away, as they should. Each time we engage our growth mindset we expand our skills to assist understanding, which will be further enhanced from moving through our mistakes.
Metacognition
Metacognition is “thinking about thinking” and more. The ‘more’ includes how we regulate the way we think, which increases our ability to determine our actions and behaviours. Metacognition goes beyond just thinking to an awareness of how to alter our thinking. We transition from just our thoughts to monitoring and adjusting our thoughts. We appear to be at a time in history when this ability to elevate our thinking to a metacognitive level is vital. We will ultimately evolve into another uniquely diverse status-quo. This current point in time is only temporary.
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” - Albert Einstein
The metacognitive experience, your internal response to learning, clarifies feelings and emotions that act as a feedback system. This feedback helps one understand personal progress and reasonable self-expectations. It also creates a more exact comprehension and connection of new information to the old. Metacognition is at the core of successful problem solving and situational strategy formulation and assists transitional changes in thinking that can redefine the elements of how we think, not what we think.
References
1-Dweck, C. (2016). What Having a “Growth Mindset” Actually Means. Harvard Business Review, January 13, 2016.
