The fact that child abuse is overt, and neglect passive and covert, supports the idea that abuse must be the more odious form of mistreatment. But is it?
Some people are able to emotionally identify with your hurt only by experiencing some of it themselves. But this “medical” remedy is all too likely to backfire.
Paradoxically, in the misguided attempts of most couples to rectify old maladaptive patterns, they end up replicating them—and it’s completely unconscious.
Substantial research indicates how intimate connections are crucial to our health and well-being. Yet such secure ties don’t come that easily. Why not?
Committing to the wrong person because the time is just right for you makes little sense. But what if the time is wrong, yet your prospective partner seems almost perfect?
It can take time to accept as true what’s already clear in your subconscious. A matter settled within you may not be ready to be admitted into awareness.
When you are in love and fervently wish that your romance culminates in marriage, your behavior will be as agreeable and accommodating as you can make it.
Anyone wishing to exert authority effectively would best do so humbly. Research on this subject focuses on corporations, but the results are generalizable.
Working for another’s well-being can be intrinsically rewarding — activating the pleasure centers of the brain. But beyond a certain point, it can be costly.
When you're a child, you instinctively realize that you must figure out how to adapt to your environment. You can’t help but sense that your very survival depends on it.
All couples must deal with differences that, if they can’t resolve, will result in ongoing friction. That’s why they need to learn what’s changeable and what’s not.
If you felt insecure as a child—and who hasn’t?—you would have tried in various ways to compensate for these perceived deficits. Some of them probably ended up being narcissistic.
How laborious is it to work on your relationship? Ask yourself: What might you have to do? Let go of? Look at differently? Forgive, accept, or be more compassionate toward?
What you do to increase feelings of security in a relationship is likely to decrease your chances of being happy in it. Ironically, such safety can be at odds with fulfillment.
However unconsciously, any relationship you enter into will make you question how vulnerable you can be. In a romantic liaison, this concern is likely to feel even more critical.
When we exit the womb, we’re innocent. We’re not yet subject to powerful outside influences that inhibit the expression of our natural preferences, needs and desires.
Ruminating about a past love, or a love neither returned nor perhaps even shared with the beloved, can generate a paradoxical, almost indefinable, excitement.
This blog is mostly about helping readers develop deeper insights into themselves and others. Aiming to be as practical as possible--and adopting a non-blaming, non-shaming perspective toward our various foibles--it suggests ways in which we may become more aware, more contented, and happier, individuals. The therapist and writer's posts have over 31 million views.
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