6 Ways to Support Our Kids and Ourselves This School Year

This is the time of year when summer begins to wind down and families begin to prepare for the transition back to school. Parents and supporters of children of any age know that these transitions often come with a mix of excitement, nerves, and ever-growing to-dos.

The reality is, back-to-school isn’t just a transition for our children; it’s a shift for the whole family system.

As we move into this new school year, here are a few ideas for how we can support both our children and ourselves so we can feel steady and grounded in what matters most:

Bring Ease to Busy Mornings

In many households, back-to-school mornings are often not as smooth as we may hope them to be. The more humans you have to get out the door, the more chaotic those mornings can feel. Having a bit of structure, allowing for agency, and showing yourself some self-compassion can help make mornings feel less stressful for everyone.

One of the greatest ways to simplify mornings is to prepare the night before and to include your children in that process, even when they’re small. Not only does picking out outfits, organizing and packing bags, and getting lunch prepared the night before reduce the rush in the morning, but it also builds responsibility and life skills.

It can also be helpful to give our children some agency in their routines. That could look like offering small choices like what snack to bring, which outfit to wear, or which order they’d like to get things done. By encouraging these small acts of decision-making and honouring their preferences, within the container of what needs to be done, we give them a healthy sense of control and help build their confidence.

Rethink What Success Means

As you think about realistic morning routines for your family system, it can be helpful to pause and gently check in on the definition of success that’s being communicated and how it is reinforced.

Often, there’s this tendency to narrow our focus to grades and academic performance. Of course, we want our children to know that school matters and that education holds immense value, but success isn’t measured only by report cards or defined by grades alone. It isn’t the only thing that matters. You can earn B-pluses and still live a successful, deeply meaningful, and well-lived life.

What also matters is who they are becoming: kind, respectful, and resilient human beings who show up and give effort. Encourage open conversation about what you value, not just in terms of the outcomes or what they produce, but in terms of things like their progress, curiosity, courage, and passion, which can help them see that success takes many forms. And when we understand that, it’s easier to see that real growth comes through the learning process, not just from getting everything right.

Enjoy the Present

There’s this tendency to think of each school year as only preparation for the next. In kindergarten, you’re getting ready for grade one; in grade eight, you’re getting ready for high school; in high school, you’re getting ready for post-secondary. Yes, each year sets us up for the next, but it’s also important that children (and adults) savour the season they’re in.

There’s so much that each new school year holds that we want to encourage our children to enjoy: new and old friendships, a sport or extracurricular activity they love, moments of growth, and new learnings and experiences. Preparing for the future matters, and so does being present right now.

Be in Their Corner

Each new school year brings opportunities, but it can also bring challenges. One of the most important gifts we can give our children is the confidence that we are in their corner.

This doesn’t mean that you condone disrespect or excuse poor behaviour, but it does mean letting them know, even when they stumble, you have their back, and they are not alone. It’s about steadying them with the belief that they can navigate hard things.

When we resist rescuing and instead support them through struggles, we help them see themselves as capable and resourceful, which becomes something powerful they can draw on for years to come.

Child Development Essential Reads

6 Things "Toy Story 5" Gets Right About Kids and Technology

Invisible Neglect: What Didn’t Happen to You Still Matters

Acknowledge the Emotions (Theirs and Yours)

Whether you’re sending your little one off to their first day of kindergarten or sending your big one off to their third year of post-secondary, back-to-school can stir up many emotions. It’s important to validate what they’re feeling, support them with encouragement and a brave face, and remember that your emotions are not theirs to carry.

Your well-being sets the foundation for their resilience. As I’ve shared before in a previous post, “The Essential Role of Self-Care for Parents and Supporters,” looking after ourselves helps us show up steady for them. We are naturally dedicated to ensuring our children have everything they need to feel safe, secure, supported, and successful. At the same time, it is important that we are leaning into outlets that help us process our own feelings so we can send them off with confidence that they’ve got this.

Create Meaningful Rituals and Moments of Connection

Often, it can feel like our work gets the best of us while our loved ones get the rest of us. Whether it’s going for a walk, listening to a song, or taking a few moments of solitude, creating a transition ritual that helps to signal you are shifting from work responsibilities to home life can make a big difference in how you show up. You might even create a family ritual that helps everyone shift gears.

Transitions are not only about how we reset ourselves; they’re also about how we show up for those waiting for us. As Toni Morrison once shared: “When a child walks in the room, your child or anybody else’s child, do your eyes light up? That’s what they’re looking for.” Small rituals like this can create powerful moments of connection.

When you see your loved ones again, let your face light up. That simple moment of joy and connection when you reunite at the end of the day or after a semester away lets them know: You belong here. You matter.

Final Thoughts

There’s no single “right” way to navigate this season. Find what feels right for you and your family system and trust that whatever comes your way, you will find your way through.

Let’s hope for a wonderful school year.