Small Ways to Care for Yourself When Life Is a Lot

So many of us are quite good at staying consistent with our self-care when life feels manageable and things are going OK. When we feel steady and well-resourced, our wellness routines can almost feel easy. But what about when everything feels like too much? When life feels overwhelming, heavy, or just off track? The long days, a full calendar, jumbled thoughts, and a weary heart can make even the habits and practices we know serve us best feel like a stretch.

Even our most trusted self-care routines can vanish the moment life starts to feel unpredictable, complicated, or challenging. Despite knowing what helps us feel grounded and steady, following through during those hard seasons can feel like a whole different challenge. This is what we call the knowing-doing gap. We know what’s good for us, but we don’t always do it.

Sometimes, we even underestimate how good we’ll feel after doing the thing that helps. Instead, we start putting energy into resisting, procrastinating, or sometimes even feeling guilty about what that time invested in self-care would pull us away from.

What happens so often is that we fall into the “when-then” trap, and we start negotiating with ourselves about when we will look after ourselves. It starts to sound like: “When this busy season is over, then I will take care of myself.” This thinking trap holds us back from giving ourselves permission to take the actions that keep us well.

To begin to bridge the gap and move past these patterns and tendencies, it is important that we slow down and really check in with ourselves.

Slow Down and Listen In

So many of us today are moving through our days at such a quick pace that it’s hard to slow down and lean into the part of us that knows what we truly need to be well. When we’re feeling overworked, underrested, and we’re just going through the motions, our intuition—our deep inner knowing—barely gets any airtime.

We become so focused on doing that we forget to ask: How do I want to feel right now?

This question can allow you to start making space for care that truly fits. When you have clarity on the feeling you are looking for—peace, ease, energy, comfort—you can intentionally design self-care habits, rituals, and practices that bring that feeling to life. They don’t have to be grand or complicated either. A walk, a deep breath, or a call with a friend can make a remarkable difference.

Aligning Self-Care With What You Truly Need

There’s also wisdom in checking in on what part of you is asking for support. Sometimes, we throw rest and recovery on the wrong problem. For example, if you’re feeling emotionally depleted but your only form of self-care is physical rest, it likely won’t be enough.

Self-care is most powerful when it aligns with the part of you that is most depleted. Check in on what needs that little bit of tender care. Are you physically tired? Emotionally drained? Mentally exhausted? Match your self-care to the area that actually needs restoration.

Now, it’s one thing to recognize what you need, but it’s another thing to feel like you’re allowed to respond to that need without guilt, resistance, or delay. This is where the idea of a permission slip can be so helpful.

Giving Yourself a Permission Slip

When the world feels demanding, sometimes what we need most is a simple, gentle note that says, “I give myself permission to...”

Maybe it’s permission to:

• Say no to something, even when you technically could fit it in.
• Rest without guilt.
• Prioritize what brings you joy (even if your to-do list isn’t done).
• Let go of what you can’t control.
• Ask for help with something weighing heavily on you.

Giving yourself permission to prioritize your well-being and tend to your own needs isn’t selfish; it’s essential.

The EASE Framework for Self-Care

The EASE framework is a way to think about self-care that’s sustainable and kind. It’s how we can keep our habits going when life gets messy, challenging, and everything feels off track.

E is for effort: Each morning, check in with yourself: How much do I actually have to give the world today? If you wake up with just 50 percent, let that be your 100 percent. This is about matching your output with what you actually have available. When needed, simplify and lighten your load wherever you can.

A is for access: Is your plan doable today? Or is it built for a version of you or a context that doesn’t exist right now? If your practices only work when life is perfect, perhaps it’s time to rethink them.

S is for satisfying: Self-care isn’t meant to feel like a heavy lift or just another item on the to-do list. Choose practices that feel truly restorative, comforting, and enjoyable, without draining your energy.

E is for every day: Small, consistent actions matter. Consistency compounds. Even if the practices don’t feel like they’re making a big difference, they may be acting as a backstop, preventing things from getting worse.

To make this framework actionable, consider a simple daily commitment.

One Small Thing for Your Head, Heart, and Body

A daily commitment to one act of self-stewardship can go a long way in protecting your well-being. Try doing one thing to support your head, one thing to support your heart, and one thing to support your body each day.

For your head: Maybe it’s making a realistic to-do list, a few minutes of solitude before opening yourself up to the world, learning something new, reading, or disconnecting.

For your heart: Maybe it’s listening to music you love, connecting with a loved one, watching something that brings you comfort or makes you laugh, or helping somebody else.

For your body: Maybe it’s going for a walk, stretching, engaging in movement that feels good, or getting outside in nature before looking at your phone.

Over time, these small daily choices can become habits that anchor you even when life feels uncertain or overwhelming.

Self-Help Essential Reads

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Final Thoughts

I invite you to ask yourself:

• How do I want to feel right now?
• What part of me needs a little tender care?
• What would my permission slip say?
• What’s one small thing I can do for my head, one thing I can do for my heart, and one thing I can do for my body today?

When you meet yourself exactly where you are and tend to yourself with compassion and care, especially in the hard seasons, you show up for yourself and others in a more well way. And the more you give yourself permission to do what you need to feel OK, the more you show others that they can, too.