Do What’s Best for Yourself This Year

As you make your way into the new year, you’ll likely notice a surge of messaging around the notion of "new year, new you" or the idea of becoming your "best self." It’s aspirational—I get it. These ideas resonate with our desire for growth and improvement. Yet, many of the resolutions people set at the top of the year stem from a sense of lack or inadequacy, particularly in terms of societal expectations.

While typically made with good intentions, many of these lofty resolutions never take root. Whether it’s due to a lack of specificity, unrealistic expectations, waning motivation, no accountability, or the pressure to conform to external ideals, we’re left feeling like we’ve failed or like there’s something wrong with us when we fall short.

First and foremost, my hope is that your goals, choices, and growth come from a place of compassion and self-love, not self-criticism. You can’t hate yourself healthy. You can't hate yourself into the person you want to be, nor can you punish yourself into wellness.

There are plenty of messages out there that you should spend time striving for perfection or chasing an idealized version of yourself, but what I want to challenge you to focus on instead is what feels best for you. This means turning inward and prioritizing the actions, habits, and behaviours that genuinely align with your needs and values, even if they don’t fit the narratives society or social media present about what you should or ought to be doing.

So, what if this year, instead of trying to do this major overhaul of your life and aiming for complete transformation, you took a kinder approach and focused on finding micro-behaviours that truly support your well-being and bring you closer to how you want to feel?

Start With the Feeling

I invite you to start by asking yourself: What do I want to feel more of this year?

Do you want to feel more productive? Energetic? Connected? Grounded? Inspired? Confident? Joy-filled?

If you find it challenging to identify what you want to feel more of, try thinking about what you might want to feel less of. Reflect on some of the big feelings you’ve experienced over the past year and consider their opposites. For example, if you’ve felt disconnected from who and what matters most, perhaps you want to feel more connected. If you’ve experienced feelings of ineffectiveness in your professional life, you might aim to feel more effective or productive. Or, if you’ve been feeling deeply exhausted, maybe you’re looking to show up for yourself and others with more energy and vitality.

Once you have clarity around your desired feeling, the next step is to find the behaviours, habits, and routines that can help bring that feeling to life.

Intentions as Anchors

Rather than rigid, daunting year-long commitments, try focusing on a single day. What small, intentional action can you take today to create the feeling you desire?

Here are some examples:

If you want to feel more productive, perhaps you will:

• Identify your top three priorities of the day, acknowledge progress, and celebrate when you complete them.
• Use your calendar as a strategic tool for scheduling intentional time on task and recovery time.
• Practice monotasking—instead of taking on multiple tasks at once, tackle one item on your to-do list at a time.
• Designate a room or time of day as device-free or phone-free.
• Use your morning energy to complete your most meaningful task (tackling a smaller, more manageable task to build momentum is OK too!)

If you want more energy, perhaps you will:

• Prioritize quality sleep by establishing a calming evening routine and maintaining a consistent bedtime.
• Start your day by stepping outside and feeling the sunlight on your face.
• Hydrate first thing in the morning and throughout the day and keep nutritious go-to snacks on deck.
• Build movement into your day—stretch, walk, or work out.
• Set intentional time aside to engage in a favourite hobby.

If you want to feel more connected, perhaps you will:

• Send a message to someone you care about to let them know you’re thinking of them.
• Put down the devices and practice active listening during a meal.
• Schedule time (even just 15 minutes) to check in with a loved one or colleague.
• Find opportunities to play in community—whether through games, sports, creative activities, or simply sharing a laugh.
• Ask someone you trust for support with something you are going through.

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Resilience in the Face of Disaster

If you want to feel more grounded, perhaps you will:

• Bookend your day by protecting the time when you first wake up to tend to your body, head, and heart, and do the same at the end of your day.
• Spend time outdoors in nature.
• Reflect and write about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in a journal.
• Slow down. Take a moment to pause and ground yourself in the present moment before transitioning to a new task.
• Focus on your breath to calm your nervous system—inhale deeply and then exhale fully.

On their own, two text messages and a chat with a loved one might not seem enough to fill the void of connection you feel, and a 30-minute walk each day might not seem like it could significantly improve your mental health and energy levels. Yet, done consistently, these small, meaningful choices add up and are more sustainable than lofty resolutions. Taking one right step each day can help you build momentum and bring you closer to how you want to feel.

Remember—something is better than nothing, and if something isn’t working, you can pivot and try something different.

Final Thoughts

January often feels like a time for fresh starts and new beginnings. It offers a sense of hope and possibility for many—and so can tomorrow, the next day, and the day after that. As L.M. Montgomery wrote in her book Anne of Green Gables, “Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?”

As the new year unfolds, I invite you to take time to:

• Get clear on what you want to feel more of.
• Find daily micro-habits and practices that support your well-being and desired feelings.
• Celebrate yourself as you are, while staying open to growth.

By keeping focused on how you want to feel and what’s truly best for you, you can create real and lasting change—on your own terms. It’s not about having everything figured out but rather finding the next right behaviour that will set you up for success in the moment and ultimately bring you closer to your goal.

My final gentle invitation is for you to approach this new year, and each day, with kindness, compassion, clarity, and confidence in who you already are—because who you are is already pretty fantastic.