Resilience
The Power of Little Things: How to Find Joy in the Everyday
Embrace the little moments that spark a sense of joy and well-being.
Posted October 17, 2024 Reviewed by Michelle Quirk
Key points
- Seemingly small, everyday moments that are often overlooked can bring immense joy and meaning to life.
- Due to the brain’s negativity bias, it can be challenging to focus on the positive aspects of life.
- By intentionally seeking out moments that spark joy and comfort, we can cultivate a sense of well-being.
There’s a quote by the brilliant Jon Kabat-Zinn that goes like this: “The little things? The little moments? They aren’t little.”
This resonates deeply with me. It’s the seemingly small, everyday moments in between all of the big moments that create this heartsong for me. They are the moments that just light me up and fill my soul. I am a collector of precious moments.
When I was little, I used to be gifted these little hand-painted porcelain figurines that just so happened to be called “Precious Moments.” They were gifted to me by my mother. After I lost her, I knew I would never get a Precious Moment again. So, I set the intention of seeking out and creating precious moments of my own.
I did this same practice with my kids when they were little. Each morning, I would send them out with their quest to find a precious moment—something that made them smile or brought them joy. This meant that each day, they would go out into the world looking for the good. And at the end of the day, we would report back and share our precious moments with one another.
Retraining the Brain to See the Good
From a biological standpoint, we are hardwired to focus on the negative. The human brain has evolved to naturally pay more attention to negative events and experiences than positive ones; this is known in psychology as the negativity bias. For our ancestors, it served them well and allowed them to survive immediate threats like animal attacks and deadly weather conditions. While this negativity bias still has its place in alerting us to potential threats today, it can limit our ability to notice and appreciate the good in our lives.
The reality is that so many of us are feeling tired and weary. When we’re in a distressed state and stuck in a cycle of stress, we can become easily triggered, perceiving even small challenges as threats. With our nervous system constantly on high alert, it becomes particularly difficult to focus on the positive—the things that are going right, the micro-wins, and the bright spots in the everyday.
When it comes to soothing a weary nervous system, there is a balance we can achieve by acknowledging our triggers while also embracing and savouring the fleeting moments that spark a sense of joy, happiness, and well-being within us. Deb Dana, licensed clinical social worker and author of Polyvagal Theory in Therapy, writes about the concept of “glimmers.” While triggers—whether they stem from memories, situations, or interactions—alert us to perceived dangers, glimmers are little cues of safety for the nervous system. They are micro-moments that bring a sense of peace, joy, happiness, or hope and help the body return to a more regulated state. The warmth of the sun on your face during a morning walk, having your loved ones in the same place and space, the smell of freshly brewed coffee, or seeing a dog’s head out a car window are just a few examples that can elicit these positive emotions.
The beautiful thing is that once we start to actively seek out these glimmers, we realize that they are all around us. It’s all about perspective.
So, how can we keep our eyes open and ourselves present to these moments and appreciate them more often?
- Set an intention. Start your day by setting the intention that you want to collect one precious moment or glimmer during the day. This shifts your mindset and primes you to look for the good in your environment.
- Slow down. In our fast-paced world, many of us operate on autopilot, simply going through the motions. This state of being makes it harder to notice the pockets of joy in the everyday. Slowing down on purpose allows you to fully experience and engage with the present moment.
- Keep a journal. Write about your glimmers and precious moments. Journaling helps you remember and reflect on these positive moments in your life. Plus, you can revisit them as often as you need and find inspiration for where to find more in the future!
- Take a picture. Capture the moments that bring you joy and happiness. Pictures serve as visual reminders of these moments and can help you appreciate them even more.
- Create a moment. You don’t always have to wait for these positive moments to naturally unfold—sometimes, you can create them. Think about what brings you joy and comfort and bring it to life. Light a candle, put on your favourite song, or share a laugh with a friend!
- Practice gratitude. Practicing gratitude helps you focus on and appreciate the positive aspects of your life. While it doesn’t eliminate negative experiences or feelings, it strengthens the body’s capacity to take in and hold onto the good.
- Savour the moment. When you find a glimmer, pause and fully experience it. Whether it’s a warm cup of tea, getting into bed with fresh sheets, or exchanging a meaningful smile with a stranger, take a little longer to enjoy and appreciate it.
- Share it. Sharing moments of joy and goodness with others—whether in conversation or through social media—can enhance the experience. This creates a shared appreciation and helps to bring a little bit of positive energy into an unwell world.
Side note: I’ll still get texts from my son who is off at university sharing his precious moment for the day!
Final Thoughts
There is so much beauty, comfort, and joy to be found in the simple moments. Yet so many of us live such full and busy lives that we often let these moments slip by unnoticed. The more we practice recognizing these small but meaningful moments, the more open and receptive we are to them.
Let this be your invitation to go out there and create a precious moment today. Make a conscious effort to seek out and embrace the bright spots. These moments are always all around us. We just need to slow down long enough to see that they’re there.
References
Dana, D. (2018). The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. W. W. Norton.