my lifetime of trauma to write about overcoming (and thriving) and won a scholarship and am a Sophomore at 68!
I am a dancer, singer, author, poetess,Vietnam era Veteran, etc.
So you're not a "10" in every which way. But you're probably pretty spectacular in some way, and definitely good enough in most areas of life. If ever there were a time to stop beating yourself up for being human, it is now.
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Recovery from traumatic events is never easy. However, humans are amazingly adaptable. Unfortunately, survival does not mean thriving. A person can survive traumatic events and be scarred for the rest of their life. Trauma affects children particularly profoundly. Children do not just get over trauma; they live with the consequences for a lifetime.
Children adapt so they can cope, but if they are emotionally overwhelmed, their brain goes into survival mode, which changes the way it grows and develops. An early traumatic experience has a profound effect on the way in which a child’s brain forms and functions. A brain that grows in response to a perceived threat is in overdrive and senses threat everywhere. Stress causes the brain to work too hard, too often, for too long. This creates a foundation for psychological distress and mental illness later in life.
Studies over the past 40 years found children who have been through abuse or extreme stress have higher rates of depression, anxiety, and other mental and physical problems than other children do. Nevertheless, few scientists have attempted to understand the biology of what was occurring in the brains of these traumatized children. A growing, international field of study revolves around the ways early experience becomes embedded in the body and brain, and how those embedded traits change the brain’s function.
Charles Nelson is a researcher at Harvard’s Center for the Developing Child, who believes the notion of early brain plasticity is particularly compelling. He claims:
“By plasticity, we simply mean the brain’s ability to be molded by experience. And we have an expression that plasticity cuts both ways, meaning that if it is a good experience, it is probably good for the brain. But if it’s a bad experience, it may be bad for the brain.”
Nelson found that children who grew up neglected had less electrical activity in the brain and smaller brains overall than their peers; they had lost brain cells as well as the connections between those cells. This damage was present for a lifetime.
If certain healthful experiences do not happen, like appropriate nurturing or boundary setting, the brain does not know how to wire itself. There are many theories on how positive and negative experiences rewire the brain. It is a mystery how some people withstand profound early adversity and seem to come out just fine, while others continue to suffer. Is there something neurological that allows for this difference or is the difference environmental? We know that with the right long-term therapy, kindness, and support, children can often change their brain function and life-outcomes.
There is growing empirical support for the efficacy of trauma-focused cognitive behavior training (CBT) in decreasing psychological symptomology in abused or neglected children. Major components of trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for children and adolescents are exposure, cognitive processing and reframing, stress management, and parental treatment. Evidence now supports the success of many alternative and holistic treatment methods also.
Treating childhood and adolescent trauma can prevent or decrease the likelihood of developing future mental health conditions. Left untreated, brain dysfunction can eventually lead many to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol, risking addiction, depression, and possibly suicide. Seek professional advice if you or a close family member have experienced a difficult situation or event. Recovery is possible with some effort and the correct help.
References
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jts.21970/abstract
http://ccs.sagepub.com/content/early/2014/02/11/1534650114522090.abstract
http://nepr.net/news/2014/11/13/life-after-stress-the-biology-of-trauma-and-resilience/
my lifetime of trauma to write about overcoming (and thriving) and won a scholarship and am a Sophomore at 68!
I am a dancer, singer, author, poetess,Vietnam era Veteran, etc.
I think that when a child is subjected to frequent, even daily psychological or emotional abuse, and/or physical abuse, and/or sexual abuse, or physical and/or emotional neglect, the damage is virtually impossible to overcome because its during the formative years that the child's brain is being "imprinted" with these "normal", daily, repeated experiences. Years of chronic, daily, ongoing maltreatment or neglect during childhood will do severe, long-term damage. A child can almost literally starve to death emotionally as well as physically, when they're unloved.
One incident of severe trauma is bad enough, but daily trauma (neglect, rejection, abuse) inflicted by the person or persons who are supposed to be caring for and protecting the child? A child has no chance of recovering from severe, frequent parental abuse without rescue and intense re-parenting by caregivers who actually want the child and love the child, seems to me.
My theory is that UNWANTED children experience the most frequent and severe psychological trauma from their parents or primary caregivers.
Child abuse and neglect comes from parental indifference (the parent is highly narcissistic, mentally ill, or is a substance abuser), parental resentment (blaming the child for "ruining" the parent's life), from parental dislike (the child's temperament and the parent's temperament clash) and even hatred for the child (if the parent hates their spouse, or ex-spouse, then the parent may grow to hate their child by that person.)
There can be many, many reasons why a parent would come to hate their own child, such as, one of the parents might feel coerced/pressured or tricked into parenthood.
So its really REALLY important for our society, our culture, to begin educating young people about the realities of parenthood and make sure that each person is ready, willing and able to commit to parenthood.
If each child is actually, genuinely wanted by their parents, and if each parent is emotionally healthy enough, responsible enough, and empathetic enough to manage the difficulties of parenting with a good heart and good intent, then that would make a world of difference in the positive evolution of mankind, seems to me.
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