Falling Behind: Struggling Young Men in Today’s Workforce

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Much has been written about our failure to attend to and engage with the struggles of young men, and the abiding sense that they are falling behind.

For example, women between the ages of 25-34 are entering the workforce at greater rates than they ever have, while the workforce participation of men in the same age cohort hasn’t grown in a decade.

The costs of male unemployment extend far beyond lost paychecks because the correlation between life satisfaction and not working is enormous. For men aged 25-34, not having a job strongly predicts unhappiness, suicide, divorce, and opioid use—more than it does for unemployed women or even men in low-wage jobs. Men are three times more likely than women to die “deaths of despair," due to suicide or substance abuse.

Among children raised in the poorest households, boys were less likely than girls to work as adults. The gap was even wider for boys raised by single parents, and those who grew up in high-poverty, high-minority neighborhoods.

It is not a surprise that growing up in poverty profoundly shapes the trajectories of children’s lives, but boys seem especially vulnerable to these effects, accounting for different outcomes in adulthood. Research has shown that boys, even in early childhood, are more sensitive to their environments, with worse neighborhoods harming their kindergarten readiness more than girls.

So what can be done about this and what role can fathers play?

Developmental psychologist Niobe Way has written about “boy culture"—the norms of masculinity that discourage boys at an early age from developing the social and emotional skills that could help them navigate a society built with women’s full participation in mind. She writes that the “soft skills” that are needed to excel in school, and in a post-industrial labor market, are the same skills that boys are socialized, from an early age, to repudiate and suppress.

The reality is that our rigid stereotypes about masculinity limit men’s education and work opportunities and have much to do with the current “gender gap.” The expectation that men should be breadwinners, for example, may explain their reluctance to spend time in degree programs that require general education in addition to career training, or to consider careers that tend to underpay employees.

With this framework in mind, public policy expert Richard Reeves has written about HEAL professions—healthcare, education, administration and literacy. While from 1980-2019 the proportion of women in STEM professions (science, technology, engineering and mathematics) increased from 13%-27%, for men in HEAL professions it decreased from 35% to 26%.

And yet HEAL jobs are among the fastest growing in the US. By 2030, the country will need 400,000 more nurses and nurse practitioners, and in a 2021 survey, two-thirds of school districts reported teacher shortages.

One obvious solution to the employment struggles of young American males is to ensure that HEAL jobs are well-paid, which could motivate more men to join these fields. But another solution is fathers playing a more significant role when it comes to elasticizing and expanding the definition of “boy culture." For example, research has demonstrated that in the few neighborhoods where poor black boys eventually did well professionally, many had fathers at home—most likely this is because these dads were positively influencing their sons’ career paths.

With the importance of fatherhood in mind, here are 10 suggestions that could help raise the odds that your son will be better able to effectively enter and adapt to a changing world, no matter what profession he eventually selects:

1. Discuss your similar and differing perspectives on gender norms—and be unafraid to question gender-related stereotypes.
2. Note the ways in which the world, and your perspective, have both transformed since you were his age, and describe the challenges that personally confronted you when it came to understanding and adapting to this transformation.
3. Emphasize that kindness, sensitivity and emotional vulnerability are strengths, not weaknesses, and that these virtues enhance rather than undermine healthy masculinity.
4. Model and encourage emotional expression by sharing your own feelings and experiences—in the present and from your past—with depth and candor.
5. Engage in conversations about contemporary events that illuminate gender-related workplace issues, such as pay gaps, leadership selection, and gender-based discrimination.
6. Talk together about the ways in which each of you has been prone to gender-based stereotyping as males.
7. Discuss the influence of social media when it comes to the portrayal of and perceptions of gender, and how it can both expand and restrict tolerance and open-mindedness among participants.
8. Encourage him to cultivate positive relationships with same-age male friends and also with older male mentors, teachers and role models.
9. Help your son explore the ways in which cultural norms, including those within your own nuclear and extended family, impact perceptions of gender roles and gender equality.
10. Discuss the ways in which societal expectations of masculinity affect mental health, and the value of asking for help and tapping into resources and support systems when facing mental health challenges.

The consequences of the crisis affecting young men in the workforce are severe, but fathers of emerging adults can play a pivotal role in shaping emotionally resilient and professionally successful sons by challenging gender norms and promoting emotional expression—qualities that are crucial to success in today’s job market.