Letting Your Feelings Out Is Good for Your Mental Health
People who repress feelings fall into many uncomfortable situations.
Posted March 3, 2022 Reviewed by Gary Drevitch
According to National Institute of Mental Health research, people who repress their feelings fall into many uncomfortable situations from illness to envy. The thing we must remember is that feelings occur for a reason and, just as the body needs to breathe to stay alive, you also need to express your emotions to stay healthy.
Our pain, if not let out appropriately, can appear as anger or even rage. If held in, it can tranform into depression or apathy. In theory, expressing your emotions is as simple as saying “ouch” when your toe gets stepped on. If you are dealing with an emotionally painful issue, just state what it is you are feeling. Holding emotions in isn't a sign of strength; it really says that you're afraid someone might see how vulnerable you are.
Crying is one of the healthiest things we can do for our emotional selves. Some people are afraid to cry because they think that once they start, they may never stop. Indeed, it can seem that way. But in truth, most people are able to work through their emotional issues quicker than they think they will.
If you need help or a shoulder to cry on, start by asking your family and friends if they'd be willing to be there for you while you “have a good cry.” If you don't feel comfortable with someone you know, most licensed therapists are well trained in helping you process your pain.
There are some other things you can do to work through your emotional difficulties. Writing is a good way to release your feelings. Many authors have told me that they’ve done their best work while deeply immersed in their own pain. Try keeping a “feelings journal,” in which you list the emotions that you go through each day. You can be highly descriptive and write in great detail about the event you are remembering or the future you fear. Or you can simply write that you're scared and lonely.
Talking about your feelings is also healing. And the bulk of therapy is just talking. Most clients don't cry for the entire hour. They may sob for a few minutes here and there and use the two-way communication to help them get deeper into their hearts. Once a painful feeling leaves, you talk until another one comes up and then you process it out, either by emoting or by just identifying the source of the pain.
It's a mistake to think you can run from your own feelings. No matter how much exercise you get, or how clean you keep your garage or kitchen, you still have to feel whatever is going on inside you. Trying to push down or avoid your emotions is a recipe for future problems—certainly emotional and possibly physical as well.
So do what you need to do to get rid of the pain you feel inside. Nobody will fault you, because we all have felt it and we will all feel it again sooner or later.