Skip to main content

Verified by Psychology Today

Text Up Your Love Life

Couples who text often have closer relationships

I never thought I would send a text message with my cell phone. My thinking seemed logical: why would you text when you could just pick up the phone and call someone? But when you can’t take the time even to have a short conversation, texting can be a godsend.

It works great both professionally and personally. When I receive a text telling me someone is running late, I don’t have to be interrupted and have more time to focus on what I am doing or the person with whom I’m speaking. And it doesn’t take my head out of the game. Appointments get made and changed quickly and easily. Texting is a productive time-saving tool.

It can also be a relationship saver. Personally, I think you can enhance your relationship if you use texting as a way to stay connected. Sending little messages throughout the day can make you feel that you are spending time with someone who’s important to you, even though you can’t talk with or see each other.

My other half is downtown a lot, and staying connected isn’t easy, but if we text throughout the day, even if we have to say goodnight via the smart phone, it feels better than just a call at the end of the day. Getting a little shot of tenderness or an update (which is just as nice) can make you feel closer.

It’s really the thought that counts. The words are not so important. Staying on the same page with a significant other isn’t easy in this very busy world, and texting is one little way many people do it successfully.

In addition, if you and your mate are having some difficulties, texting is a good way to break the ice and start the healing process. Making an apology via text isn’t insincere, and it can be a good thing. The sooner you start taking positive action and get on the same page again, the better. Waiting until you are back at home can cause the discomfort you had earlier to fester, so here again a little text can go a long way.

Think about it like this. You have had words with your partner in the morning, and you have been thinking about it while you are at work. Then at about your coffee break, you get a text that says something like “I think I may have been mistaken. Sorry. Looking forward to seeing you tonight.” This can instantly change your mood and your day for the better.

Using technology to improve your relationship probably isn’t something the big-time geeks thought about, but if we can use modern inventions to make our personal lives better, then let’s do it. Right now might be a good time to sit down and text your honey a little note, letting him or her know how you feel, and maybe throw in a picture of the two of you. This little bit of effort can make a big difference in your relationship.

Dr. Goldsmith's Website

Dr. Goldsmith's Facebook

Dr. Goldsmith's Tweets

Dr. Goldsmith's LinkedIn