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Melissa Blake

Melissa Blake

Words of Wisdom Wednesday: The Joys of Being Single

Single this Valentine's Day? Celebrate the joys of being single!

I had the chance to interview the lovely and talented Samara O'Shea a few months ago. In addition to being an expert on the art of letter wrtiting (read: the pen-and-paper kind), she's also a blogger for The Huffington Post. When I read her post on celebrating your singlehood, I just knew I had to interview her! Check out her wise words of advice!

Your HuffPo article touches on some key issues. Were you nervous about writing it?
I guess I'm always a little nervous to say things like, "In the event that it doesn't happen for me. . ." (in other words, if a lasting relationship doesn't happen for me). I fear if I say it, then I'm willing it somehow, and I don't want to will it. I am open to and hopeful for romantic love to enter my life at some point, but if I had to choose between settling and being single, I choose being single.

Why has the word "single" begun to have so many negative connotations associated with it?
I don't think that it has. I believe the idea of being single has become much more acceptable over the past thirty years. Of course, there will always people who will feel sorry for the single among us, but I think that's because they are projecting their own fears of being alone on the single people that they see rather than considering that a single person might just be okay.

Do you think society views single men vs. single women differently? Why?
Maybe at one time society felt much sorrier for single women (hence the word spinster), but I don't think that's the case anymore. Now that a woman can have a career, own property and even have a child without a husband, I think single men and women are viewed the same way. Perhaps in some old-fashioned parts of the country, a single woman is to be pitied more than a single man, but the feminist movement will make its way to those places one of these days.

What are the best parts of single life?
*Coming and going as I please.
*Not having to have an argument or discussion with anyone when I want to spend money.
*Knowing that I'm not afraid to be alone, which means I am free to love for love itself.

How can women embrace and be proud of their singlehood?
Women can choose not to believe or profess that their lives will only be complete once they are married. Whether in a relationship or not, you are the only person who can complete you. This isn't to say a husband and child (or children) aren't wonderful additions to life-they certainly can be-but plenty of people still stand in their living rooms surrounded by family and wonder, "Who am I and what am I doing with my life?" The answer to that question can only come from within. So while you're single, work on you. Don't compare yourself to your married friends or spend too much time being sad about being single. You have an opportunity to discover who you really are. Doing that will benefit you now and when love comes along.

Is there anything else you think I should know?
42% of the adults in America over the age of 18 are single, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. You are not alone!

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