Social Media
Social Media Builds and Breaks Self-Esteem
Why connection feels good but comparison hurts.
Posted December 18, 2025 Reviewed by Michelle Quirk
Key points
- We spend an average of seven hours per week on social media.
- Social media can make us feel like others are better than us because people only share their "wins" online.
- Individual factors can influence our relationship with social media.
Many of us are guilty of doomscrolling, endlessly scrolling through short-form videos or social media posts. Often, we spend more time than we intend on social media. This is because these platforms are designed to maximise user engagement. Social media algorithms show us content that will grab our attention and encourage engagement through likes, comments, and shares.1 On average, internet users spend around seven hours per week on social media.2
Social media can make us feel good, connect us to others, and allow us to learn new things. But we can also feel worse about ourselves because of the idealised content others share. How social media affects our self-esteem depends on several things, including our base self-esteem, our tendency to compare ourselves to others, and whether we are active or passive on social media.
The Mixed Effects of Social Media on Self-Esteem
Receiving likes on our social media posts can make us happy and give us a self-esteem boost.3,4 Sociometer theory explains that we are sensitive to social feedback from others because it was necessary to understand our social standing within a group in our evolutionary history.5 When we feel accepted by others, we experience higher self-esteem because our social standing is secure.
Posting on social media can make us feel connected to others and increase our self-esteem, but the effects are temporary.6 Also, people who tend to use social media to seek validation from others also tend to have lower self-esteem, poorer well-being, and more addictive behaviours.7 These addictive behaviours could include repeatedly posting content to get engagement from others to receive a self-esteem boost.
Further, seeing others' success on social media—for example, starting a new job, buying a bigger house, or getting married—can make us feel like we’re failing or falling behind. It is important to remember that people tend to show the idealised version of their lives online.8 Because of our evolutionary need to track our social standing, this can lead to a decrease in self-esteem.
Individual Factors
While social media can influence everyone’s self-esteem, some people might be more affected than others. People who spend more time on social media tend to have lower self-esteem, particularly if they compare themselves negatively to the idealised versions of others that are posted online.9 This is known as upward social comparison.
Another factor is social comparison orientation, which is the degree to which people pay attention to and base their behaviour on the way others behave.10 People with high social comparison orientation are more likely to experience poorer self-esteem when using social media.11
How we use social media can also affect us. Active use, such as posting regularly, has generally not been associated with comparing oneself negatively to others or decreases in well-being.12,13 In contrast, passive use, which involves mostly viewing others' posts, is linked to negative self-comparison to others and negative feelings.14,15
Together, these individual differences might help explain why social media has a positive effect for some people but detrimental effects for others.
How to Use Social Media in a Healthier Way
- Set a time limit for your social media apps. Notifications that let you know that you’ve reached your screen time limit may nudge you out of mindlessly scrolling. You can add more time to your daily allowance, but using screen time limits may help you feel in control of your app use.
- Focus on active rather than passive engagement. Active engagement, like posting or commenting, is generally linked to better outcomes for users, whereas passive scrolling tends to be associated with negative effects, such as reduced self-esteem and negative mood.
- Remember that people mostly only share their successes. Most people carefully curate their profiles to show the best parts of their lives. But few people are living the idealised lives portrayed online.
References
1. Milli, S., Carroll, M., Wang, Y., Pandey, S., Zhao, S., & Dragan, A. D. (2025). Engagement, user satisfaction, and the amplification of divisive content on social media. PNAS Nexus, 4(3), pgaf062
2. Datareportal. (2025). Digital 2025 July Global Statshot Report. Retrieved 02/12/2025 from https://datareportal.com/reports/digital-2025-july-global-statshot
3. Burrow, A. L., & Rainone, N. (2017). How many likes did I get?: Purpose moderates links between positive social media feedback and self-esteem. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 69, 232–236.
4. Marengo, D., Montag, C., Sindermann, C., Elhai, J. D., & Settanni, M. (2021). Examining the links between active Facebook use, received likes, self-esteem and happiness: A study using objective social media data. Telematics and Informatics, 58, 101523.
5. Leary, M. R., & Baumeister, R. F. (2000). The nature and function of self-esteem: Sociometer theory. In: Advances in Experimental Social Psychology (Vol. 32, pp. 1–62). Academic Press.
6. Desjarlais, M. (2024). Subtle momentary effects of social media experiences: an experience sampling study of posting and social comparisons on connectedness and self-esteem. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, 29(3), zmae004.
7. Martinez, A., Browne, L. J., & Knee, C. R. (2024). Conceptualizing social media contingent self-esteem: Associations between echo chambers, contingent self-esteem, and problematic social media use. Cyberpsychology: Journal of Psychosocial Research on Cyberspace, 18(3), Article 2.
8. Schreurs, L., & Vandenbosch, L. (2021). Introducing the Social Media Literacy (SMILE) model with the case of the positivity bias on social media. Journal of Children and Media, 15(3), 320–337.
9. PVogel, E. A., Rose, J. P., Roberts, L. R., & Eckles, K. (2014). Social comparison, social media, and self-esteem. Psychology of Popular Media Culture, 3(4), 206–222.
10. Gibbons, F. X., & Buunk, B. P. (1999). Individual differences in social comparison: development of a scale of social comparison orientation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76(1), 129–142.
11. Wang, J. L., Wang, H. Z., Gaskin, J., & Hawk, S. (2017). The mediating roles of upward social comparison and self-esteem and the moderating role of social comparison orientation in the association between social networking site usage and subjective well-being. Frontiers in Psychology, 8, 233971.
12. Appel H., Crusius J., Gerlach A. L. (2015). Social comparison, envy, and depression on Facebook: a study looking at the effects of high comparison standards on depressed individuals. J Soc Clin Psychol. 34 277–289.
13. Tandoc E. C., Ferrucci P., Duffy M. (2015). Facebook use, envy, and depression among college students: Is facebooking depressing? Comput Hum Behav. 43 139–146.
14. Chen, W., Fan, C. Y., Liu, Q. X., Zhou, Z. K., & Xie, X. C. (2016). Passive social network site use and subjective well-being: A moderated mediation model. Computers in Human Behavior, 64, 507–514.
15. Wang, J. L., Wang, H. Z., Gaskin, J., & Hawk, S. (2017). The mediating roles of upward social comparison and self-esteem and the moderating role of social comparison orientation in the association between social networking site usage and subjective well-being. Frontiers in Psychology, 8, 233971.
