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Decision-Making

Resolutions Are Cancelled, Use This Benchmark Instead

This assessment can help you set your intentions in the right way.

Key points

  • Understand why resolutions aren't working and what you can do instead.
  • Consider eight dimensions of wellness and honestly assess how you're doing in each.
  • Develop corresponding small goals based on your assessment results.

Scratch resolutions. They give us more anxiety than they're worth, and we rarely stick to them anyway. Before you know it, you're eating the tub of ice cream because you're depressed that you couldn't avoid the ice cream. It's not working.

I've got another idea.

This is one of my favorite activities to use with clients, and I'd love to offer it to you here so that you can have an honest check-in with yourself.

I initially got this idea when I purchased Lara Casey's Power Sheets (which I highly recommend, and no, this is not a paid endorsement). One of the activities she recommends is doing a quarterly check-in on various dimensions of wellness. This is an opportunity to be honest with ourselves about what's going well and what may need some tweaking. From there, I recommend setting a goal or two in each space, depending on the data you find.

So, let's begin. I'm going to list out eight different dimensions of wellness (based on Casey's grid), and I want you to give yourself a score from 1 to 10, with 10 being "I'm absolutely rocking this" and 1 being, "oof, this is feeling in the gutter right now."

There is no judgment here.

The more honest we can be with ourselves, the more we can make shifts in a positive direction. It's only natural that these things ebb and flow, and giving ourselves grace is more than warranted here.

So, let's begin:

Physical Health: Consider sleep, eating habits, substance use, hydration, supplements and medication, and exercise, for example.

Family Relationships: Parents, children, siblings, cousins…how are those relationships going?

Intimate Relationship(s): Whether in a committed relationship or not, how is this aspect of life faring? Are you leaning into your relationships? Enjoying the single life? Want to make a change?

Source: Elevae / Shutterstock
Do you have somewhere fun on your list that you'd like to visit this year?
Source: Elevae / Shutterstock

Recreation and Fun: How often and how meaningful are your leisure activities? Are you looking forward to a fun trip? Do you get to do some special things that light you up on the weekends?

Spiritual Health: Whether you practice a religion or not, how tuned are you emotionally? Are you developing deeper connections, both with yourself and others? Spirituality looks so different for each of us, but consider how it's playing out currently in your life.

Financial Health: How do you feel about your spending and saving? Do you want to build more financial literacy?

Friendships: Do you feel these relationships are solid, or want to invest more time? Do you want more friendships, or is it time to cut some ties?

Career or Academic Standing: Are you feeling satisfied with the work you're doing? Are you continuing to learn, or is this aspect of life stagnant?

Is there another category you'd like to consider? Perhaps you may want to look at mentorships in your life, travel (if that's a particular focus for you), or how it's going with tapping into bravery.

Ultimately, each of these words contains values, so if a poignant value is missing for you here, add it to the list.

Now, based on this assessment, perhaps you want to add a corresponding goal for each. Here are a few ideas you may include:

Source: Elevae / Shutterstock
Perhaps you want to try bike riding this quarter.
Source: Elevae / Shutterstock

Physical Health: Go for a 20-minute walk three times a week. Drink eight glasses of water a day. Get sober and curious for the month of January.

Family Relationships: Call parents once a week. Take my child out for lunch on the weekends. Send a birthday card to family members.

Intimate Relationship(s): Get a date night on the calendar every other week. Make time for sex once a week. Take care of the gardening, as it really helps my spouse out.

Recreation and Fun: Plan a trip for this summer. Try a new sport, like pickleball. Pick a restaurant to try.

Spiritual Health: Listen to a podcast that gets you thinking. Read a self-help book. Attend a service.

Financial Health: Track your budget. Cut back on spending money on food delivery. Learn how to invest in the stock market.

Friendships: Call a friend once a week when driving. Plan a weekend trip with a friend. Get a friend a birthday gift.

Career or Academic Standing: Ask a mentor for coffee. Negotiate a raise. Apply for a new job.

These are just a few ideas to get you started. It's going to look so different for everyone. The idea is that you start to get that tickle of excitement thinking about how you want to make some slight tweaks to your day-to-day. This isn't about making massive shifts. Few hardly ever stick with that. But slight, small progress? Now, that is doable.

Tell me in the comments one goal you'd like to lean into this upcoming quarter.

References

Casey, L. (2023). One-year powersheets. Retrieved from https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/fresh-start-sale.

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