Humor Is Hot: Why Being Funny Attracts Potential Partners

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Ever wonder why a shared laugh or witty remark can spark attraction? Humor does more than lighten the mood—it may reveal clues about a person’s creativity. Research by Erika Langley and Michelle Shiota suggests that humor serves as a signal for creative thinking, offering potential partners insights into someone's ability to approach situations in novel ways.

Why We Value Humor in Relationships

“Looking for someone with a great sense of humor” is a common phrase in dating profiles, and for good reason. Humor makes interactions enjoyable, helps people bond, and can ease awkward moments. But could it serve a deeper role in attraction? According to researchers, humor may go beyond being a social tool—it might act as a cue for creativity, making it a desirable trait in romantic partners.

In a series of six experiments, the researchers explored how humor shapes perceptions of creativity, intelligence, and social competence. Participants were told they were helping assess an online dating website’s new “algorithm.” They answered casual questions like “Are you a cat person or a dog person?” as part of the cover story, though these responses were not analyzed.

Next, participants viewed two types of dating profiles—some with humorous answers and some without. For instance, a humorous response to the cat/dog question might read, “Dogs eat their own poop. Cats shove their butts in your face while you sleep. Is turtle an option?” Neutral responses stayed factual, like “Dogs. Combination companion and vacuum cleaner—how can you turn that down?”

After reading the profiles, participants rated the potential partners on traits like creativity, intelligence, and social skills. Results consistently showed that humorous profiles were rated as more creative, especially when the humor involved divergent thinking (i.e., creatively answering in an unexpected way). Interestingly, humor didn’t boost perceptions of intelligence or social competence, suggesting that while humor signals creativity, it doesn’t necessarily make someone seem smarter or more socially skilled.

The Long-Term Appeal of Humor

The studies also looked at how humor might influence long-term relationships. Humorous profiles were rated as more desirable when considering serious commitments like friendships, long-term relationships, and marriage. The researchers suggest that humor signals adaptability and creative problem-solving—traits crucial for maintaining long-term relationships.

In this sense, humor isn’t just about making people laugh—it may reflect an individual’s ability to approach challenges with flexibility and innovation, key traits for navigating a relationship’s ups and downs. However, humor is only one factor among many that contribute to a lasting connection.

Gender Differences: Do Men and Women View Humor Differently?

The researchers also examined whether men and women perceive humor differently regarding its revelation of a jokester's creativity. Across six studies, no significant differences were found. Both men and women inferred similar levels of creativity from humorous profiles, suggesting that humor's role as a creativity signal operates similarly across genders.

This challenges traditional stereotypes that men should be the primary "funnymakers" in relationships. Humor, it turns out, can be appreciated as a marker of creative potential and compatibility for men and women.

How Humor Shapes First-Date Preferences

One of six studies conducted by the researchers added a new layer by examining how humor affects first-date activity preferences. After reviewing dating profiles, participants rated their interest in various activities, each emphasizing different traits. For example, an escape room represented a creative problem-solving first date option, while bowling, trivia, or a pottery class represented some of the other options.

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Participants who viewed humorous profiles were more likely to choose activities like the escape room, suggesting a link between humor and problem-solving creativity. Interestingly, while humor was associated with cognitive creativity, it didn’t increase interest in more artistic activities, such as pottery classes, or other first-date activities like bowling.

This confirmed a key insight: Humor may signal cognitive creativity, particularly the ability to think quickly and solve problems. In romantic scenarios, this form of creativity is often valued for its adaptability and resourcefulness—appealing traits in potential partners. By choosing activities like an escape room, participants may further assess these traits, determining how compatible or "creative" a humorous partner might truly be.

For Singles: How to Use Humor to Your Advantage

What can people looking to attract a romantic partner take away from this research? If you want to highlight your creative side, you don’t need to be a stand-up comedian. A touch of humor can give potential partners a glimpse into your creative thinking and flexibility. The studies also suggest that humor encourages people to choose activities that showcase creative problem-solving, like an escape room, over more traditional dating experiences.

Still, humor is just one piece of the attraction puzzle. While it can boost perceptions of creativity, its impact may depend on other factors like personal preferences and relationship goals. Nevertheless, if you want to make a creative impression, consider being funny.