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5 Ways to Be Happier Today

5. Make time for love.

Key points

  • Happiness is an evolved part of our psychology. Understanding its evolutionary roots can help us find it in our daily lives.
  • During human evolutionary history, our ancestors experienced happiness when survival and reproductive benefits turned up in one's life.
  • Actions such as spending time in nature, working on a creative project, and connecting with loved ones can help boost happiness.

It's gloomy outside of my window as I type. Everything is gray. The days are getting shorter. And at mid-life, there are all kinds of stressors! If you're at all like me and could use a pick-me-up on this, the Monday after Thanksgiving (or, as my friend Becky Burch writes, The Monday-est of All Mondays), here are five Darwininian-inspired tips.

The evolutionary perspective on human emotions holds that our emotions, including happiness, evolved as they did to serve important evolutionary functions for our ancestors during the bulk of human evolutionary history.1 Under these conditions, largely when ancestrally modern humans lived in the African savanna in small, tight-knit groups, people experienced happiness when they encountered outcomes that would have been associated with survival and/or reproductive success. Such outcomes would have included, for instance:

  • Finding a great new food source
  • Creating something that is admired by others
  • Natural phenomena such as a freshwater stream during drought conditions
  • Sharing laughter and stories with family members
  • Experiencing mutual love with a partner who is adoring, trustful, and attractive

As we experience the time of year associated with waning sunlight in North America, here are five ways to harness happiness based on this evolutionarily informed approach.2

1. Eat something healthy and yummy.

Under ancestral conditions, humans evolved to prefer foods that put fat on one's bones, anticipating drought and famine. For this reason, we evolved to prefer foods that are high in things like carbohydrates and salt. Ironically, the modern food industry has hijacked these food preferences. And this is why places like Burger King are so good at making money but also at distributing food that is obnoxiously unhealthy.

For these reasons, eating something that is simply tasty does not always have happiness-inducing effects in the modern world. Tasty foods, such as chocolate chip cookies that are fresh from the oven, come with a price. And such foods might come with guilt from not being able to control one's impulses.

Natural foods, which map onto the kinds of foods that our ancestors would have eaten before the advent of agriculture, can be tasty but they are also generally guilt-free. Find your favorite tasty natural treat today. It may be grapes, clementines, salmon, sweet potatoes, etc. Eat something tasty and natural today, and do it with a guilt-free smile.

2. Create and share something today.

The creative spirit is a basic part of our evolved psychology. We admire creative others and we tend to take joy in the creative process. Under ancestral conditions, creativity was widely respected, likely as it had all kinds of benefits when it came to surviving and reproducing.3 Further, creativity is an inherently social endeavor. And sharing with others is a critical piece of happiness in a species such as ours with sociality being so foundational.

When it comes to forms of creativity, the options are nearly endless. Write a quick story or joke to share with a friend. Or a poem that captures your spirit today. Or maybe draw something. Perhaps a doodle during that department meeting will emerge into something that makes you really smile. Whether it is big or small, I say try to create something every day. And share it with someone who will appreciate it. And maybe see if they will share back. Sharing creative products, no matter how small, provides a simple route to joy on a daily basis.

3. Get out into nature.

Sure, it's harder to get out into nature when it's cold and gloomy outside. Add a saturated schedule to this and you've got a recipe for staying indoors and doing not much of anything. But remember, for the lion's share of human evolutionary history, our ancestors were outside constantly. We evolved to be surrounded by fresh air as well as both plant and animal life. Natural water features, sky, and sun were all regular players in the daily lives of our ancestors. As such, we evolved a strong love for nature that goes deep into our evolved psychology.4

It might be a two-mile run before work. Or a quick walk in a park near the office. Or maybe, if time allows, an intensive hike deep into the woods. But whatever your schedule allows, make sure to get some outside time with some elements of nature in it. Nature experiences famously go hand-in-hand with happiness.

4. Share and communicate with family members today.

As is true in many species, kin matter quite a bit in the human experience. From an evolutionary perspective, kin are those special people in the world who disproportionately share specific genetic combinations with ourselves. As a consequence, kin have an inherent evolutionary interest in our successes. This is why "blood is thicker than water."

Think of a family member whom you get along with well and send them a text or give them a call. No agenda is needed. Just make sure that there are some laughs involved.

5. Make time for love.

In the human experience, love and happiness go hand-in-hand.5 For this reason, finding and cultivating loving relationships is a critical part of being human. And love has a way of facilitating happiness that truly cannot be matched.

Think of someone you truly love in this world. It could be a romantic partner, spouse, parent, friend, etc. Reach out to that person. Share with that person. Connect with that person. Smile with that person. And do it today.

Loving relationships are nothing short of essential when you look at things from an evolutionary perspective. And loving relationships are much like gardens. If they are cultivated and cared for regularly, they grow beautifully. If they are neglected, they waste away. Make sure to actively cultivate at least one loving relationship today. Your soul will thank you later.

Bottom Line

Skies are gray, daylight is shortening, and the temperatures are dropping. This time of year is famous for taking the wind out of people's sails. Well, I say don't let it! Using an evolutionary perspective as a guide, we can take various small actions that have been proven over thousands of generations of the human experience to facilitate happiness. Need a pick-me-up to get through the day? I say follow a Darwinian lead and eat something tasty and healthy, create something, get out into nature, share a laugh with a family member, and make sure to cultivate love today. Happiness may seem elusive at times, but when we take a Darwinian approach, we can both understand and facilitate this emotion that is so foundational in our daily lives.

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References

1: Guitar, A, E., Glass, D. J., Geher, G., & Suvak, M. K. (2018). Situation-specific emotional states: Testing Nesse and Ellsworth’s (2009) model of emotions for situations that arise in goal pursuit using virtual-world software. Current Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-018-9830-x

2: Geher, G. & Wedberg, N. (2020). Positive Evolutionary Psychology: Darwin’s Guide to Living a Richer Life. New York: Oxford University Press.

3: Miller G. F. (2000). The mating mind: How sexual choice shaped the evolution of human nature, London, Heineman.

4: Wilson, Edward O. (1984). Biophilia. Cambridge: Harvard University Press.

5: Fisher, H. (1993). Anatomy of Love - A Natural History of Mating and Why We Stray. New York: Ballantine Books.

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