Parenting 101: How to Raise Well-Adjusted Kids

A positive family environment is essential. What does this mean? A positive family environment is characterized by parents who are encouraging and supportive and who minimize conflict—creating a safe and secure environment. A lot of this relates to parenting style.

Parenting style has a big impact on how children develop into adults, and there are important implications for their future success.

Here are the four main parenting styles and their implications for rearing successful children and leaders.

1. Authoritarian parenting is characterized by adherence to rules, a dominating style, and a great deal of control. The authoritarian parent may be punitive and is likely to believe in the "spare the rod, spoil the child" rule. Research suggests that as adolescents, children of authoritarian parents may lack some of the critical social and communication skills that are so important for good social adjustment and for positions as leaders. Moreover, children raised by authoritarian parents tend to become authoritarian themselves, both in their interpersonal relationships and as parents.
2. Neglectful parenting is when parents simply don’t do much parenting at all. They spend little time with their children and are happy to let the TV and video games do the babysitting. Children of neglectful parents often have trouble following rules, because there have been few or no rules in their upbringing. Children of neglectful parents can have behavior problems due to a lack of self-control, and communication skills may not fully develop.
3. Indulgent parenting is characterized by attentive parents, who provide a great deal of warmth and interaction but few rules and constraints. An "anything goes" attitude is typical of indulgent parents, and parents act more like friends than parents. This parenting style often leads to higher levels of creativity in children, but there is little self-control. These children, whose parents typically don’t set boundaries, tend to have a sense of entitlement. This can create one-sided interpersonal relationships. When adults, children of indulgent parents may have relationships that are characterized by them “taking” much more from their partner (e.g., love, attention, support) than they are willing to give.
4. Authoritative parenting is the gold standard for parenting. Authoritative parents encourage their children to be independent but also set limits and boundaries. Discipline is applied but in a supportive, nonpunitive way. Typically, authoritative parents give their children increasing levels of independence as they mature, and this leads to higher leadership potential in the children of authoritative parents. Social skills, self-control, and self-reliance are more highly developed, and these are qualities that make ideal employees, leaders, and life partners.

Our research on parenting and leadership development in children has found that children who grow up in families where parents (and children) create a positive family environment are more likely to emerge as leaders in adulthood, and there is also a relationship between positive family environments and psychological well-being as adults.