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Body Language

8 Nonverbal Cues That Someone’s Not That Into You

How to know when a relationship is not moving forward.

Have you heard the saying, “Actions speak louder than words”? That is certainly the case with some nonverbal cues. Here are some body language cues that suggest that a romantic partner may be losing interest in you.

Lack of Eye Contact. A consistent research finding is that people in love spend a great deal of time gazing into each other’s eyes. If your partner rarely makes eye contact, or looks away when you look into their eyes, this is a sign of disinterest.

No Tie Signs. Tie signs are nonverbal cues of touch that “connect” people – holding hands, an arm over the shoulder or around the waist, a hand on the leg. Such tie signs tell other people that you two are connected. A lack of body-language tie signs suggests that he or she doesn’t want that tight bond.

Fake Smiles. During authentic smiles — what psychologist Paul Ekman calls Duchenne smiles – the eyes are involved. They narrow and “crinkle” at the corners. A Duchenne smile indicates true happiness. In fake smiles, the eyes aren’t involved; fake smiles suggest that the person is not truly happy. Are you getting true or fake smiles from your partner?

Cues of Impatience. When interacting with that certain someone, does he or she give off body language cues of impatience? Head shaking, agitated motions, and quick-talking responses all suggest that a person doesn’t have time for you.

Body Orientation. When people are making a personal connection, they give off “cues of immediacy” – orienting their bodies to face the other individual, leaning forward, and maybe even engaging in “postural mirroring” (mimicking the other person’s posture and gestures). If your partner is standing to your side, turning his or her head to talk, it’s a sign that he or she may not be that into you.

Tone of Voice. Soft and soothing or somewhat shrill? Voice tone is a subtle but informative nonverbal channel. A shrill or impatient tone of voice suggests disinterest. If the other person is into you, their tone of voice should be soft and attentive.

Looking Askance. If the other person is always looking away when talking to you, particularly when you are trying to make eye contact, that suggests disinterest. If the other person pulls out a smartphone and looks at it during your important or intimate conversations, you are in trouble.

Facial Asymmetry. A subtle indicator of displeasure is when our facial expressions become asymmetrical – mouth pulled to one side, an eye roll, or a look of puzzlement. When we are truly into someone, our facial expressions are symmetrical and positive, expressing positive emotions.

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