Long-Term Effects of Bullying on Health and Wealth

I would be interested in any studies that look into the home environments of those who are bullies, those who get targeted as a victim by bullies, and the bully victims who go on to become bullies themselves.

My theory is that the origin of all aspects of bullying behavior, is their home environment: bullying begets bullying.

A child with a stronger, more dominant, even psychopathic personality reacts to chronic emotional and/or physical abuse by parents or older siblings, or reacts to emotional or physical neglect by parents, by inflicting pain on those who are even smaller and weaker than he or she is.

A child with a more fearful, anxious, or more submissive personality reacts to chronic emotional and/or physical abuse by parents or older siblings, or reacts to chronic neglect, by becoming even more passively submissive and withdrawn, which ironically seems to attract even more abuse.

So, if you know of any studies on bullying behavior that include the bully's background, or the bullying victim's background (specifically the home environment RE violent, abusive, or negligent parenting, dangerously violent older siblings, etc) I would like to read that.

My solution is radical, politically incorrect, and unfeasible. But, I think it would work.

Any minor child who is a chronic (more than two incidents) bully, and any minor child who is a chronic (more than two incidents) bully target or victim of bullying, needs to be removed from their parents because the parents are either chronically abusive toward the child, or are criminally negligent and allowing the child to be bullied IN THE CHILD'S OWN HOME.

Inadequate, irresponsible, negligent, exploitative or abusive parents ought to lose the right to parent, either temporarily or permanently, depending on the case.

The minor child would be relocated to a safe, nurturing environment and given therapy, and re-parented to make it clear that bullying will not be tolerated and that kindness and empathy and respect toward others earns rewards.

The parents would be fined, required to attend psychological therapy, required to attend parenting classes and would need to pass examinations or tests to show that they are now qualified to parent.

Airline pilots have to have certain qualifications, meet certain standards, undergo rigorous training and pass difficult tests in order to obtain a license to be a pilot; seems to me that parenting is at least as important a job as being an airline pilot.

See, that is pretty radical. It would require a huge paradigm shift in our culture, society, and laws RE human rights, parent's rights, etc. But what we have now isn't working very well, so maybe its time to try a radical approach.

I can attest that, in my case there was no bullying in my home. I was the oldest. My siblings were 7 and 10 years behind me, and they were my sisters. My dad worked two jobs, and my mom was a rather large woman, for whom I was a handful and she wasn't really able to keep up with a hyperactive/hyper-curious boy. Bullying for me started shortly after I was old enough to venture out, and increased exponentially in elementary school. This was many years ago, during a turbulent time for the nation. In fact, I experience all of the consequences described in the article.

It is not easy to have to observe: Firstly, schoolteachers, police officers, and psychology professionals have been the worst bystanders.

Secondly, cyber-bullying is cruel, sick-minded, and an anti-social attack on someone's psychological integrity. That is true because that is what bullying is, and cyber-bullying is bullying. We do not need the advent of the internet and social media to explain why we must now stop bullying.

We just need people to stop being the same irresponsible and uninspired cowards who did not intervene before. I think too many have failed to submit that a social phenomena engineered to destroy one's well-being, and/or that of their family, through incessant and organized abuse, is fundamentally a disorder.

I'm now 42 years old, and I've worked hard to overcome the long term effects of the bullying I had to live through, and though I've made surprising progress with social and emotional issues, it doesn't matter. My prime has passed, and my life is not successful, and I don't want it now that the health problems from living a hard life a starting.

I won't cite staying out of prison in spite of the odds as an accomplishment until I get paid for it just like the professionals who think that's a success.

I hear a lot in the news in recent months about kids committing suicide after being abused by their peers. I think suicide happens once someone senses they have no chance left in life-- that they have been destroyed. That's got to be the most horrible of all evil phenomena: a kid dying by his own hand. The result of intentional and thorough psychological manipulation.

The long lasting effect: 30 years ago I got through two years of that hell, and obviously I did not kill myself, but today, I honestly wish that I had.

Teachers, Administrators Unwitting Contributors to Bullying Problem

by Shannon Rudderow

The heartbreaking suicides of two bullying victims this month, shows that we, as a nation, still have not done our job as adults to protect our youth.

I was in the waiting room of a doctor's office, when a friendly young teenage girl and I began chatting. She was very open, and told me that she was at the doctor's office to get medication because she was being bullied in school. This is an appalling reflection of the sad state of our school systems: public as well as private, because it happens in all schools; admittedly, some more than others.

After years of experience, I can explain at least part of the problem. Case in Point: I was recently playing with my 5 year-old grandson, when he confided that he was being teased by three girls in his kindergarten class. He is a good-looking boy, smart, well-spoken. However, I wasn't surprised, because I know from raising my own children that every kid goes through this to a greater or lesser degree. It is exceedingly painful for both child and parent.

I advised my grandson to tell his teacher. He emphatically stated “I did! She told me not to tattle”. My grandmotherly instincts aroused a seemingly primal anger within me. Trying not to make it a “focal point”, I casually asked my grandson their names. He told me, and I jotted them down in a notebook. I assured my grandson that sometimes adults do wrong things; that it was wrong for his teacher to not punish the girls for their actions, and it was wrong for her to tell him not to tattle. I told him that I would call his teacher the following day.

I called and spoke with the teacher, who told me she was “trying to teach the kids not to tattle”. I was taken aback. This, right smack in the midst of the month of October, when my grandson was bringing home little anti-bullying projects. I told her that it was important that children be able to tell
the teacher when they were being bullied, especially in light of the recent suicide of a young girl who was bullied. She asked me if I'd like them separated. I agreed that would be a good idea.

You can't paint everyone with the same brush, and I've encountered a number of excellent teachers through the years. However, if a 5 year-old is taught that he or she is in the wrong for bringing a bullying situation to a teacher's attention, then a risky precedent is being set.

http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/15838952-teachers-administrators-unwitting-contributors-to-bullying-problem

JIM CROW LAWS/Bullying at its most extreme.

African Americans found themselves dealing daily with extreme social, political, and economic constraints as well as psychological outcomes such as fear, anxiety, shame, trauma, and insurmountable levels of stress. In addition, “social outcomes such as public humiliation, stigmatization, exclusion, imprisonment, banishment, or expulsion are all highly consequential and sometimes devastating for human welfare”.

I had to remark on the above comment. My son-in-law works in a prison and he told me that blacks are treated terribly by the prison staff.

Someone should monitor this. Persons in prison are the most vulnerable in our society, after children. Someone needs to speak for those who can't.

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