Workplace Bullying: Applying Psychological Torture at Work

Bullies are usually social psychopaths. I reccomend books by Robert D Hare or Martha Stout.

This happened to my wife a couple years ago. The repercussions do not fade away. The results on the target are very much like an injury.

It happened after more than two decades in a Fortune (top) 10 company, with a successful upward progression from entry level to and through management for consistent valuable contributions. She is a strong person - Vietnam Era veteran (non-traditional military role), former farm girl, and many successful business challenges, etc. - yet in her new area/assignment their actions were devastating to her career and caused permanent damage to her health.

The workplace bully is not limited to a loud ranting model. Often they are insidious snake-like characters, bent on sabotaging the target. As in my wife's case, blaming the target for incomplete work assigned to others, removing them from meeting calendars. Isolating them physically and in communications from colleagues. It gets to the point were everything one has learned or sucessfully used in work is put into question. One wonders if black is really white and white is really black, and wonders also if in the next step the world will fall out from under their feet.

Bullying is perfectly legal in the US. People should not feel they have discrimination or harassment laws as a safety net. EEO regs are limited to very narrowly defined categories and situations. At the same time most of the rest of the western industrialized world have a system of recourse in place.

Do not expect HR to be sympathetic or interested. One study indicated that in more than 50 percent of cases HR did nothing and in more than 30 percent of cases HR helped the bully. (per Workplace Bullying Inst. workplacebullying.org )

Leaving a position is NOT always an option, although the majority of targets do. My wife was actively recruited by by another segment of the company when they heard she may be available. She took the position after five months of short term disability leave.

As another article has stated, it is akin rape of the spirit and the mind.

GLS334
Wisconsin

I was seriously bullied by a young assistant professor (who was younger than I was) when I was a PhD student, and I simultaneously was sexually harrassed by a second assistant professor. The head of the department had passed away unexpectedly, and there was a power vacuum and wild-west kind of atmosphere, where people felt they could get away with more than normal. However, the bullying professor actually had a track record of picking one new grad student in each intake year, and his aim was to make them quit by the second year. When I started the Phd, I was warned about this by some of the grad students who were more advanced in the program than I was, but I had made it to my mid-30s without being bullied in my adult/working life, and I actually had always been on good terms with that man in the past (I had known him for 2 years already), so I didn't think that I would be the one out of my classmates to become that man's target. But I was. Two former students had sued him because his actions were illegal, but the university's board threw all their legal might behind the case and the two students lost their fight. That legal verdict was decided the year before I began the program. So, when I was being bullied, even though I took documentation of what was being done to me, plus witnesses, to the professor in charge of advising the first-year students as well as to the administrative dean, they both were silent and said that nothing could be done to help me. I could not believe that an academic institution (a "good" and historical one) and its managers would be so unfair, immoral, and weak. I didn't even complain about the sexual harrassment by the other asst. prof., because I knew that it would be taken even less seriously. The last straw was when the bully told me that if I didn't leave the program at the end of the first year, that when I took his required class in the second year, he would "fail" me in that class, and one fail in the entire 5-year program meant that a student was expelled from the program, so he told me he was "being a 'friend' and saving you time and effort by telling you to give up now instead of dragging it out for another year." He told me that when other students were with me! I got good grades (had been awarded a 5-year full scholarship, in fact) and there was no question that I would ever fail any class normally -- and of course ridiculous to say that you would fail a student before even one assignment was turned in -- it was just one way of threatening me, and when the first-year-students' advisor and the administrative dean told me there was nothing they could do to stop him from failing me (they bizarrely said they could not guarantee that an external professor would be sought to give a second opinion on my class material that would apparently be given an "F" by the bully that following year when I took his required class, even though getting outside opinions was one of the *written* rules of that university in situations where a grade was contested). The sexual-harrasser professor was so horrible to another member of my intake class that she quit in the middle of the first year, so they'd already lost one new grad student from this very small program, and they were about to lose me too -- it didn't make any sense. After being left on my own by the administration, I soon developed clinical depression because, in addition to the daily jerky behavior I received by the two assistant professors, I was also ostracised in public by all the other grad students (they had warned me at the start of the year that this happened each year when the bully's victim was finally chosen and known by all), and I was made aware that negative emails were being circulated about me -- I was told by a professor from an entirely different department who wrote me a snail-mail letter to my home address to tell me so, etc. My physical condition worsened quickly and my doctor instructed me to take a leave of absence, which they had to let me do, but they said they would only let me have 3 months, and told me that if I stayed away any longer from my studies, I'd lose my scholarship. I ended up having to withdraw from the program after the summer after the first year, which was so sad because I had been so excited and dedicated to studying for a PhD as a "mature" student. This incident not only wrecked my mental and physical health for about 5 years afterwards, it also wrecked my reputation in that field, and it seriously hampered my career choices in other fields. How do you explain leaving a good job in your mid-30s to study for a PhD and then quitting your studies after 15 months and being too ill to work for another subsequent 2 years? You look like a lazy, silly person, and I was certainly not that -- but there is no way to go into a job interview and say, "Oh, I was bullied and got clinical depression." No one will hire you - they think you are unstable and will be too much trouble. When this happened to me, I didn't have any money or mental energy to try to sue the university about this, and of course the lawsuit judgement about that professor from the year before (when the bully had done it to 2 students simultaneously, and they had even a better case, better proof, than I had) pretty much sealed my fate anyway. I had already seen some academic unfairness, plagiarism, and political nastiness during my early 20s in my BA and MA, but nothing prepared me for the treatment I got in the PhD program. I lost a huge number of friends (who were assorted other professors, administrative staff, and grad students) in one fell swoop, because they were all afraid of the bully too. I also lost many friends outside the university environment because many people can't handle it when a friend gets clinical depression. I'm now in my early 40s and I am still trying to get my life and career into a reasonable shape. Such a shame, the whole thing, and none of it was my fault - none of it. I really don't see how such a creature as that bullying professor could be given full rein anywhere, let alone at an upstanding "institution". He ended up dying a couple of years ago (of a very early death; he was reportedly alone at the time - no foul play as far as I know!), so at least he isn't terrorizing a new student from each intake year at that university any longer. It has taken me a long time to get to the point of even being near that campus again, and I've been afraid to run into the people from that time in my life, because they must have believed some of the bad rumors that he spread about me, and they were so unsupportive to me in my time of vulnerability. But I'm feeling stronger these days, and there is no question that I have the moral high ground. If I run into them, I will be able to be civil to them to their faces, while despising them/pitying them in my thoughts.

I have saved a few articles on bullying:

http://mindexpressions.wordpress.com/bullying-and-harassment-at-work-and-in-school/

http://www.livescience.com/strangenews/061031_office_bully.html

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/news/20090901/workplace-bullying-linked-to-sleep-problems?src=RSS_PUBLIC

For me, it was best not to dwell on the topic of bullying, because it had all passed (i.e., I had been forced to drop out) by the time I could think halfway straight, and by that point there was nothing I could do to change my situation. I knew it wasn't my fault -- and I guess I had the historical examples of earlier students who had been treated as cruelly as I had. However, over the years, whenever I've seen an anti-bullying website mentioned, I've tucked the address in a document on my computer; I have not visited the following websites, but they might be of help to someone:

http://www.bulliedacademics.blogspot.com

http://www.workplacebullying.org

http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/2006/08/dealing-with-manipulative-people.html

Psychological bullying, undermining an individuals self esteem and status and creating unessary stress is the most incidious kind of workplace bullying that leaves a scar on the individual for years to come. Bullies adopting this type of behaviour seem to work unchecked in the public sector. Even when complaints are raised following the correct procedures the perpetrators continue in post with no more than a slap on the wrist and some management training. Much more could be done to deal with this unacceptable behaviour but as it is endemic at the top in many organisations HR are unable to get to grips with it. What is needed is tougher sanctions against all those who adopt psychological bullying behaviour towards colleagues and their staff even the most senior staff are involved

The best way to deal with workplace bullying is to avoid it in the first place. eBossWatch is a national database of bad bosses that you can search before accepting a new job. Check them out and rate your own boss: http://www.ebosswatch.com

Thanks for this blog post about workplace bullying. It's always great to see this destructive phenomenon getting more attention.

I'm the author of the Healthy Workplace Bill, legislation that provides targets of severe workplace bullying with a legal cause of action and offers incentives for employers to act preventively and responsively toward bullying at work. The bill has been introduced (but not yet enacted) in over 15 states legislatures since 2003, with the strong support of Dr. Gary Namie (of Namie & Namie, The Bully at Work and the Workplace Bullying Institute, www.workplacebullying.org), along with a growing network of grassroots advocates.

For more, go to http://healthyworkplacebill.org.

Also, I host a blog, Minding the Workplace (http://newworkplace.wordpress.com) that frequently discusses workplace bullying and related behaviors.

Sincerely,
David Yamada
Professor of Law and Director, New Workplace Institute
Suffolk University Law School, Boston

Dr. Riggio, you are so right about universities being prone to this behavior, ironic as that seems.

I left a horrible situation at a company I had been with for 14 years. Have you ever seen those caricatures of "difficult people" in business books? I was socially ostracized by "Political Polly" a woman who did no actual work but managed to make herself look good and others look bad. No one wanted to get on her bad side.

Things got so bad that one day I clocked out and left forever (do not recommend that!). I went back to school full time.

The bullying turned out to be a blessing and a curse. A curse because I think I still suffer physically and financially after more than 10 years. A blessing because I learned the signs and never, never, never suffered fools again. I believe if it weren't for my prior experience with bullies at work I would not have survived the bullies in academia.

That story about the graduate student dropping out of a PhD program is absolutely heart-breaking. I am so happy to see that the legal system is taking note, our nation can not afford this kind of nonsense.

I am the same "anonymous" who wrote at length about her PhD bullying/clinical depression experience above.

--
Thank you, Dr. Riggio, for closely following the reader comments made about your article, and for replying kindly to them.

It makes me feel better that you have known others in academia who have experienced what I went through.

--
Something that I remembered today about that soul-crushing time was an occasion when a professor visited my area for a few days (her trip had nothing to do with my university) and she contacted the university one day to ask if she could take a small group of the PhD students to lunch. (A rare and appreciated gesture.) The professor was Christina Maslach (wife of P. Zimbardo), who had played a part in the Stanford Prison Experiment, so I was very interested in meeting her and listening to her stories and thoughts over lunch. By that time, I was being ostracized by the other students, which may not have been noticeable to a stranger having lunch with 5 quiet and deferential students, but I'm sure that anyone could see in my eyes that I was a bit haunted. Dr. Maslach was studying workplace "burnout" then, so she talked about it at length. I asked her what the difference was between clinical depression and workplace burnout, because to me they sounded so similar, and she said there were huge differences, but I can't recall any of them (I can't recall very much from those months, though, when my brain felt like it had been replaced by cottonballs.)

I'm sorry, but I still think that the symptoms and experience of "burnout" can be very close to those of depression, or precede it commonly enough.

Causing employee burnout seems to be a charge that can be levelled at an organization as a whole without naming specific perpetrators and without the blame inherent in words like "bullying", "authoritarian", "sociopathic", "illegal", etc.

I am not sure if saying in a job interview that one was suffering from "burnout" in one's previous work situation would sound any better than mentioning bullying, depression, or otherwise attempting to explain why one took a sudden leave... maybe marginally it sounds more acceptable.

link to one of her books on burnout:
http://www.wiley.com/WileyCDA/WileyTitle/productCd-0787908746.html
"Today's workforce is experiencing job burnout in epidemic proportions. Workers at all levels, both white- and blue-collar, feel stressed out, insecure, misunderstood, undervalued, and alienated at their workplace. This original and important book debunks the common myth that when workers suffer job burnout they are solely responsible for their fatigue, anger, and don't give a damn attitude. The book clearly shows where the accountability often belongs. . . .squarely on the shoulders of the organization."

One thing that drives me up the wall about the social sciences is the way that basic ideas are described with a wide variety of terminology, and each sub-sub-field feels ownership of its idea and would never reach across disciplines in order to factor in what other strains of academia had researched or discussed about the same concept (especially if it uses different language). People are so wedded to preserving their small bit of territory, though, that it's pointless to try to break down the walls. [Example, the "new" field of behavioral economics, which is rediscovering that a wheel is round and fire is hot, harrumph!]

Therefore, I'm only mentioning this idea of workplace "burnout" (especially the kind that is blamed on the organization) here because I've never seen workplace "burnout" discussed in any article about workplace bullying, and it probably is a complementary subject that might offer some insights or confirmation of research results.

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Also today, I was reading a news article about a different subject altogether, and I happened to stumble across a link to an emotive article from 1976 about members "trashing" each other in a voluntary membership association -- "trashing" in this case meaning bullying, slandering, ostracizing, etc. Of course, bullying doesn't just happen in the family, at work, or in school; it can even happen in a charity, non-profit, or other voluntary association that is seemingly comprised of well-meaning and thoughtful people. link: http://www.jofreeman.com/joreen/trashing.htm

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Thank you to the most recent "anonymous" for saying that my story was "heart-breaking". No one, not even my mother, used words like that when I told them what was happening to me at the time, and the empathy would have been so welcome.

--
That poster also wrote that she learned the signs of bullying and never suffered fools again, but when it's the bully who is in charge of your fate in the organization, no one internally will step up to help, and the legal system won't protect you, I don't know how you can escape him or her. You either suffer or leave - usually both.

This is the big thing for me now: I don't know how anyone can know whom to trust. You can't trust old or new friends, relatives or strangers, mentors or peers, promises or laws.

Maybe if I had been married I would have experienced the support of a spouse during that time, but I wasn't, and mostly everyone clammed up and withdrew from me (either because they were selfishly avoiding any taint or unhappiness, or because they cared about me but just didn't know what to do).

Yes, it's good to be wary and on guard, not completely trusting of anyone, but I was that way to a reasonable extent *before* my bullying experience, and it didn't protect me. Nothing I could have done would have guarded me from having that experience. And a similar thing in different circumstances could just as easily happen to me again.

I sometimes wonder how the people in an "underground railroad" type of organization or a secret political group like the Resistance in WWII figure out who to trust and who not to trust. There will be spies trying to infiltrate them, there will be traitors from within; at every turn they face being discovered and punished. Of course, some did trust the wrong people and lost their lives or were jailed as a result -- but how did the successful ones manage it? Just luck? Have there been specific studies into this? There must have been. Probably military/CIA studies?

I like to think I'm pretty intuitive, realistic, good at observation and sussing out people's characters -- but the bullying incident turned my world upside down and made me doubt everything and everyone. (Except for myself; I was probably lucky in that - my self-belief emerged as strong as ever. It was all so ridiculous and made up in my case that I didn't have to wonder if I was at fault and really underperforming or something -- how can you give someone a failing final grade a year before the class has started?)

I guess life was mirrored in the Stanford prison experiment; given the right circumstances, most (not all, but the overwhelming majority of) people will become cruel, vindictive, power-hungry, and selfish, sometimes with little provocation. Or at least they will look the other way, without doing anything about it.

I was told by the professor from the other department (the one who wrote me a letter at my home address warning me that lying emails were being sent about me) that I needed to find some people that I trusted in life, and to move on from the program and stick with the people I trusted -- but how do you do that? How do you find the 5% (or whatever it was) of the population who are like the subjects in the Stanford prison experiment who were ethical, strong, and steadfast? "Normal" life doesn't give us enough clues about people's characters, I don't think. When stressful, tragic times hit and you do find out how people really are at their core, it's often too late; you've had to throw your lot in with them long before.

Thanks for this discussion about workplace bullying. I've also experienced the traumatic nature of this common, but largely unaddressed form of abuse. My sympathies go out to the PhD student and her tragic experience.

I was the target of a co-worker bully for over 2.5 years at my former employer, St. Alphonsus Regional Medical Center in Boise, Idaho, where I worked in the Respiratory Care Dept. for 30 years. St. Alphonsus is part of the Trinity Health system heaquartered in Novi, Michigan. The bullying began when she found out that I did not share her political and religious beliefs. She subjected me to some of the same bullying tactics others experienced, including ostracism as well as spreading false rumors and accusations. She also engaged in blocking comunication with me, which jeopardized patient care. After a year of this treatment I was diagnosed with PTSD. After 32 months I was forced to retire prematurely since I was becoming disabled by the chronic bullying, and was no longer able to do some of the procedures I had done successfully at that place of employment for decades. During the course of the bullying I reported the problem and the PTSD injury to different levels of management more than two dozen times and never once received a response addressing the injury. My reports were either ignored, or the responses I received (many of them in writing), were threats of termination and claims that the PTSD injury was "petty." After leaving St. Alphonsus in 2006 I reported what happened to me, and why I left by mail and e-mail to about 450 of my former co-employees there. I felt that as a responsible citizen and health care professional it was my obligation to do so since what I'd experienced represented a health and safety hazard to anyone who used that medical center.
Management responded to my reports in a vengeful fury. They falsely claimed that I had threatened, either to harm myself or others, and subjected me to an involuntary admission to their psychiatric hospital, where 2 psychiatrists, who had a financial interest in having me depicted as someone with psych problems, generated a phony psych record on me. Without any evaluation, they claimed that I had multiple (eleven) serious psych problems, but never told me or any family members what those problems were, and never offered me any treatment for the problems. We first found out about those diagnoses 5 months later when my attorney got a copy of the record. They kept me locked up for 6 days. They did not consult with my personal caregivers, MD, psychologist, or pastor(all of whom knew about the bullying problem and the PTSD diagnosis), or with anyone who knew me (other co-workers) before conducting the involuntary admission. Later I head that the psychiatrist who initiated the admission, also the medical director, was fired from his job because of the way he treated me. But the other psychiatrist who participated in creating the phony psych record took his place as medical director. In 2008 I had a meeting with one of the vice-presidents who apologized repeatedly to me for what happened, but only verbally, not in writing, and denied responsibility for the involuntary admission. She also stated that I had an excellent work record and was eligible for rehire! Other health care professionals have told me that the admission was a "kidnapping," not a "protectve custody" act.
For nearly four years now I've been successfully working at another facility, and have learned to live with PTSD, engaging in exercises that minimize the symptoms.

There are several points I want to make about this experience:

1. If you become the target of a bully, keep a detailed record of the action between the bully and yourself including date, time, location, what the bully says or does (or doesn't say and do), witnesses, also reports from others of comments made by the bully about you. Also keep a journal of your life as impacted to the bullying.

2. Don't expect Human Resources to be of any help. HR exists to protect upper level management from blame and responsibility for anything that goes wrong. The most malicious response I received was from an HR manager. I met with him 3 times to discuss the problem and in an e-mail he indicated he wasn't interested in hearing my side of the story, before I met with him the first time! He also ordered me to lie about the PTSD injury if asked, threatened to fire me if I talked about it with dept. co-workers, or if I reported any more problems to him. He also promised me a written report of an investigation he conducted, then refused to give me the report after the investigation. He promised that I wouldn't have to work with the bully anymore, than broke the promise 2 months later. He adopted a "kill the messenger" approach to solving the problem. Having said that, you may still at some point have to report the problem to HR, if in a similar situation as I was. I recommend that you either have a trusted witness present, or, if possible record the meeting.

3. Don't expect your friends or co-workers who witness the bullying, to report it or help you in any way. For one reason, no one who hasn't been bullied has any idea how much harm is being done. While you are being seriously injured, witnesses may just be experiencing some macabre entertainment. It's also likely that friends and co-workers, if they are aware of the bullying (and many times they may not be), may actually distance themselves from you to avoid also becoming a target of the bully.

4. As much as possible, try to find a trusted friend or friends that you can talk to about the problem whenever necessary. Also seek trusted professional help early and as often as needed. This may include physicians, counselors, psychologists, pastors, etc. If possible tell everyone you can about the problem, although if you try doing that at work you might get fired.

5. Learn the symptoms of PTSD such as anxiety, hyper-vigilance, depression, nightmares, exaggeraed startle response, etc. and watch for them. If you start having them, get professional help immediately.

6. Seriously consider looking for another department, job, or employer.

7. If your boss suggests that you change some work activity, such as slightly alter your job description, to avoid the bully, remind him/her that does not address the problems but is simply one way of blaming the victim.

8. Educate yourself about bullying in the workplace. Books I recommend are "Mobbing: Emotional Abuse in the American Workplace" by Davenport, et al (I bought 100 copies of this excellent book to give to co-workers and friends who might be in the same danger as I was); "Work Abuse" by Wyatt and Hare (another good resource); "Bully In Sight" by Tim Field, (British publication where bullying is taken more seriously than in the US); "Ostracism: The Power of Silence" by Kipling Williams (The one to read about the silent treatment which is one of the most harmful bullying behaviors anyone can face); "Stalking the Soul" by Marie-France Hirigoyen (does a good job of empahsizng the seriousness of the problem) and anything by Gary and Ruth Namie.

If you want to read more about my experience check the articles under the heading "Workplace Psychological Abuse" on my blog "The Cambium Level" at www.leonardnolt.blogspot.com. I also include a list of websites on the topic.

Take care
Sincerely
Leonard Nolt

Thanks for this discussion about workplace bullying. I've also experienced the traumatic nature of this common, but largely unaddressed form of abuse. My sympathies go out to the PhD student and her tragic experience.

I was the target of a co-worker bully for over 2.5 years at my former employer, St. Alphonsus Regional Medical Center in Boise, Idaho, where I worked in the Respiratory Care Dept. for 30 years. St. Alphonsus is part of the Trinity Health system heaquartered in Novi, Michigan. The bullying began when she found out that I did not share her political and religious beliefs. She subjected me to some of the same bullying tactics others experienced, including ostracism as well as spreading false rumors and accusations. She also engaged in blocking comunication with me, which jeopardized patient care. After a year of this treatment I was diagnosed with PTSD. After 32 months I was forced to retire prematurely since I was becoming disabled by the chronic bullying, and was no longer able to do some of the procedures I had done successfully at that place of employment for decades. During the course of the bullying I reported the problem and the PTSD injury to different levels of management more than two dozen times and never once received a response addressing the injury. My reports were either ignored, or the responses I received (many of them in writing), were threats of termination and claims that the PTSD injury was "petty." After leaving St. Alphonsus in 2006 I reported what happened to me, and why I left by mail and e-mail to about 450 of my former co-employees there. I felt that as a responsible citizen and health care professional it was my obligation to do so since what I'd experienced represented a health and safety hazard to anyone who used that medical center.
Management responded to my reports in a vengeful fury. They falsely claimed that I had threatened, either to harm myself or others, and subjected me to an involuntary admission to their psychiatric hospital, where 2 psychiatrists, who had a financial interest in having me depicted as someone with psych problems, generated a phony psych record on me. Without any evaluation, they claimed that I had multiple (eleven) serious psych problems, but never told me or any family members what those problems were, and never offered me any treatment for the problems. We first found out about those diagnoses 5 months later when my attorney got a copy of the record. They kept me locked up for 6 days. They did not consult with my personal caregivers, MD, psychologist, or pastor(all of whom knew about the bullying problem and the PTSD diagnosis), or with anyone who knew me (other co-workers) before conducting the involuntary admission. Later I head that the psychiatrist who initiated the admission, also the medical director, was fired from his job because of the way he treated me. But the other psychiatrist who participated in creating the phony psych record took his place as medical director. In 2008 I had a meeting with one of the vice-presidents who apologized repeatedly to me for what happened, but only verbally, not in writing, and denied responsibility for the involuntary admission. She also stated that I had an excellent work record and was eligible for rehire! Other health care professionals have told me that the admission was a "kidnapping," not a "protectve custody" act.
For nearly four years now I've been successfully working at another facility, and have learned to live with PTSD, engaging in exercises that minimize the symptoms.

There are several points I want to make about this experience:

1. If you become the target of a bully, keep a detailed record of the action between the bully and yourself including date, time, location, what the bully says or does (or doesn't say and do), witnesses, also reports from others of comments made by the bully about you. Also keep a journal of your life as impacted to the bullying.

2. Don't expect Human Resources to be of any help. HR exists to protect upper level management from blame and responsibility for anything that goes wrong. The most malicious response I received was from an HR manager. I met with him 3 times to discuss the problem and in an e-mail he indicated he wasn't interested in hearing my side of the story, before I met with him the first time! He also ordered me to lie about the PTSD injury if asked, threatened to fire me if I talked about it with dept. co-workers, or if I reported any more problems to him. He also promised me a written report of an investigation he conducted, then refused to give me the report after the investigation. He promised that I wouldn't have to work with the bully anymore, than broke the promise 2 months later. He adopted a "kill the messenger" approach to solving the problem. Having said that, you may still at some point have to report the problem to HR, if in a similar situation as I was. I recommend that you either have a trusted witness present, or, if possible record the meeting.

3. Don't expect your friends or co-workers who witness the bullying, to report it or help you in any way. For one reason, no one who hasn't been bullied has any idea how much harm is being done. While you are being seriously injured, witnesses may just be experiencing some macabre entertainment. It's also likely that friends and co-workers, if they are aware of the bullying (and many times they may not be), may actually distance themselves from you to avoid also becoming a target of the bully.

4. As much as possible, try to find a trusted friend or friends that you can talk to about the problem whenever necessary. Also seek trusted professional help early and as often as needed. This may include physicians, counselors, psychologists, pastors, etc. If possible tell everyone you can about the problem, although if you try doing that at work you might get fired.

5. Learn the symptoms of PTSD such as anxiety, hyper-vigilance, depression, nightmares, exaggeraed startle response, etc. and watch for them. If you start having them, get professional help immediately.

6. Seriously consider looking for another department, job, or employer.

7. If your boss suggests that you change some work activity, such as slightly alter your job description, to avoid the bully, remind him/her that does not address the problems but is simply one way of blaming the victim.

8. Educate yourself about bullying in the workplace. Books I recommend are "Mobbing: Emotional Abuse in the American Workplace" by Davenport, et al (I bought 100 copies of this excellent book to give to co-workers and friends who might be in the same danger as I was); "Work Abuse" by Wyatt and Hare (another good resource); "Bully In Sight" by Tim Field, (British publication where bullying is taken more seriously than in the US); "Ostracism: The Power of Silence" by Kipling Williams (The one to read about the silent treatment which is one of the most harmful bullying behaviors anyone can face); "Stalking the Soul" by Marie-France Hirigoyen (does a good job of empahsizng the seriousness of the problem) and anything by Gary and Ruth Namie.

If you want to read more about my experience check the articles under the heading "Workplace Psychological Abuse" on my blog "The Cambium Level" at www.leonardnolt.blogspot.com. I also include a list of websites on the topic.

Take care
Sincerely
Leonard Nolt

I have read the article and the comments. It is quite interesting to me to see how much bullying is done in the work place.

I have worked in many environments. My first bad experience with a bully was right out of school. I left after a year. Then, I have had the opportunity to work in great environments.

I recently started a contract in a big unionized organization. Somehow, it seems that job security has also created never ending power struggles. It feels like I am working for a chain of bullies, where the bully in chief tells the lower bullies how to do the bullying:

Create a false sense of urgency.
Tell them that overtime is mandatory, if they call on it, change to expected.
Put them down for the weirdest thing: someone said that you left 3 minutes early.
We are talking about knowledge workers who sometimes stay an extra half hour to finish what they started, not a work chain, where the next person can't put the door if you don't hold the screws.
Change their priorities at the last minute while they are trying to meet the impossible urgent deadline, and put them down when they can't do it all.
Ask them to review their time evaluation down and then tell them that they can't even meet their own deadlines.
Forbid workers to talk to other workers that have the information that they need, because the other workers are working in their impossible deadline.
At some level, it's ok to prioritize, but then you have to change the deadline for the person who is blocked from the lack of information.

Most people don't stand up for themselves. Security is rare these days, and I think that most employees have not seen anything else and probably don't know that they could do better. A few are fighting, but to their own emotional detriment.

As a new comer, and somewhat outsider, I find it disturbing. From experience, I know how to call a double constraint and I can make them agree to new deadlines if they are not letting me do what I need to do. I list priorities and ask them to choose. I have a very calm approach and where others get taken emotionally, I wait patiently and rephrase the issues as questions that I repeat until I get an answer.

Still, it's taking a lot of my energy. I vent a lot outside work. Instead of working on the projects, I have to take a lot of time to analyze the situation, look at their strategies, hidden issues, and my then objectives. Then I come up with a strategy to get the best from the situation. On top of this, I keep more small side-contracts and my eyes opened for the next job… the fact that I am always ready to leave is my best weapon.

Now I wonder, how long I should stay. The pay is great, it would be great even in a good economy, so I have a great incentive to stay. I am learning people skills that can help me later, it's not like these are the last difficult people that I will meet in my career. However, the project has big chances of failure because this organization is not equipped to face the challenge. I am installing new technology, but a tool doesn't do the work for people. A tool is only as good as the way you configure and use it… and that depends on getting the right input at the right time.

I'm not sure if I should take it as a personal challenge to learn more about myself, dealing with others and negotiating. Contrary to the person who was trying to get a degree, I will not loose all the work that I have put in. I get paid every month, so except for the satisfaction of getting the project to work, I don't have much to loose, and I may still have a lot to gain.

If I stay, I realize that I have to lower my standards about how much work I can do in a specific amount of time, because of all the relationship management that I have to deal with. I also realize that I may have a stain in my flawless record of successes, which is not necessarily as bad as it sounds if I get to learn a lot from it.

Time will tell I guess!

If you are going to rid yourself of a bully or bullying co-worker, you have to fight fire with fire...Being female in a male dominated career with a physical disability i stand out and become an instant target and i have had MANY experiences with bullies and currently having one now...
Step 1: Become popular with other co-workers...bring donuts and other treats in...know and tell good jokes, practice joy of life...listen to others.
Step 2: Keep doing the excellent work you have always done, keep being the trustworthy, capable, funny, considerate co-worker...don't let that change...
Step 3: If a bully trys to publically humiliate you, make a joke...
For instance: "Hey Fat-A%%, get off your duff and do some work."
You could respond with "Jack, are you complaining about yourself, AGAIN??? Then go back to doing whatever it was you were doing before being rudely addressed like you didn't care. Quick retorts and showing that remarks fall off you like like rain from a duck can stop a bully...for awhile. And then, really don't care what a sociopath does think about you...they are FLAWED semi-humans...always realize that...you can NEVER reason or reach these people...
Step4: Find their closest allies and get them in your corner. Tell them you like them, respect them but the backstabbing REALLY makes you sad, because, hey, you really LIKE them...
Step 5: Don;t be afraid of the bully...Never let them see you sweat. and be unpredictable, act like you like tham sometimes, then ignore them...that REALLY throws them off their scent because they can't follow their PREDICTABLE torture tactics...
Step 6: Unless they physically threaten or attempt to assault you (believe me, physically disabled or not, i could deck 9 out of 10 guys) Never go to supervisors about the bullying...They ALEADY KNOW what is going on and are letting YOU take responsibility. Most people have failed to 'grow a pair'...so don't go whining to someone...it will only HURT you as they are too COWARDLY to be the knight in shining armor...
Step 7: Since you are so popular with others, make sure you find out about what your nemisis is up to, back-stabbing, sabatoge, laziness, ect. so you can plan your counter-moves...Hey, this is WAR so think like a GENERAL.
Step 8: Become the bully to YOUR BULLY...take note of what this person is Doing (doing as opposed to SAYING) ..if THIS person isn't doing their job, or being unsafe with you or others...let your supervisor know. This isn't whining, it's addressing a problem that concerns productivity and avoidance of possible lawsuits for the company.

These steos will usually allow the bully to fade into the background of annoyances...like stuck traffic lights, forgetting to run an errand,,,you know, a MINOR irritation...a bully will sometimes get back some of his/her steam...so you might have to run this course again, but it won't be as bad as the first time...and then, by that time they will have moved on to an easier (SPINELESS) target.

Legal analysis is filled with annals of debate over whether or not emotional and psychological harm is capable of being addressed by law, yet physical harm is readily recognized as actionable, and compensable.

Failing to recognize the very basic nature of harm and its preventable status by conscientious society, this is the social equivalent of playing with fire.

As illustration, recognizing that the Civil War and the Emancipation Proclamation did not arise from the need to free slaves from the physical harm of their existence (though there may have been some), logic suggests that it was the need to free them from the nature of the psychological and emotional harm of indignity, and demeaning existence that was the norm for them during that period.

Such reflection properly escalates the nature of harm to show how society tolerates the infliction of harm upon individuals, under color of law, or even without it.

Failure to recognize obligations of one to another need not produce physical harm but may well encourage emotional and psychological harm (innocently or by accident) that leads to intentional harm and callousness that society is wise not to ignore - because it leads to internal implosion where exploitation of each other becomes trivial, or worse, understandable and justifiable, as nonactionable misdemeanor.

This cultivates a psychopathic personality which inevitable becomes a part of the fabric of society so that injustice is overlooked, negligence is encouraged, and exploitation merely a more intrusive harm that people must endure. Personal consideration of others is not merely an ideal of societies but a necessity for sustainable interaction. Without it, harm and pain is all that endures.

Charitable spirit cannot be found in the number of charities entertained or endorsed in society, nor in the number of religions or religious and spiritual organizations cultivated, but in the action and reaction of ordinary people in ordinary life that is worthy of idealizing - perhaps using the Golden Rule as a measure of that action.

For too long, personal affronts have been trivialized to such an extent that they are now anticipated and endured using the method of emotional detachment that accompanies such pain. It is not the problem of jaywalking through which societies crumble; it is through the administration of permitting assaults, battery, emotional and psychological harms to destroy the patriotism and the spirit of its citizens to a point where they become apathetic.

Ignoring the ability to address these harms is not freedom but the potential to disrupt civil society so severely that interpersonal engagement becomes impossible for people in self defense mode. The chilling of the atmosphere of society is made repetitive and redundant by persons willing to entertain the exploitation of others for enrichment or self gratification. This is the problem of distorting the common law of emotional distress to prevent it from allowing it to become a means of redress and remedy, either for public figures or for private ones.

Condoning emotional and psychological torture in daily life by ignoring it helps to create a society not admirable and honorable, but a living hell on earth that no one should have to endure.

It's unthinkable that psychologically trained physicians and staff familiar with the host of anxiety ridden illnesses allow society to ignore the very real consequences of ignoring this vital atmosphere of society to become so very distorted, and allow it to become a social norm.

It is the height of professional incompetence to ignore the reality of human existence and the tortures allowed to become an ordinary part of life - for anyone, in any nation.

I have been at the same Nurse/Administrative Assistant job for twelve years. In 2008 my new supervisor arrived and it has been extremely hard for me to work there since. This woman is a snake in the grass. Loves sneak attacks out of earshot of other employees and behind closed doors. She plays office politics and shows favoritism. I have always received excellent evaluations for twelve years. I am very popular and well liked in the building of about 65 people. No complaints until now. I knew about her before she started as my supervisor through the grapevine because she has treated people like this before. I never thought I would be her next target. My other coworkers know she does this to me but I don’t think any of them will have the balls to say anything (fearful of retaliation) when I go over her head this week. Everyone in the building gets daily e-mails except me “hey, I’m your AA”. It is like she wants me to fail so she doesn’t communicate info with me. She can’t lie out of that one. She sucks up to everyone that comes into our office. It makes me want to throw up. Mrs. so sweet and innocent threatened to dismiss me for my so called “behavior” last week. She will deny this because she is a “good Christian woman”. She is on the board at a church. She is the devil in disguise. Does anyone in the real world believe that a Christian can’t lie? She is not as smart as she perceives herself to be when you give someone excellent on evaluation on paper “only” and harass them in private. Where’s the proof? I have never received a written warning from her. She actually told me one day that “You look at people the wrong way”. I do have some documentation but not all. I have also spoken with the building counselor about this. It’s very sad because I’m a really fun, bright, hardworking individual. Do you think she doesn’t like me? Ha-ha. She is human and will do whatever it takes to squirm out of this. She is very fond of denying things, forgetting things and chalking up things as a “misunderstanding”. That is what she will do when she is called into the head office. “Oh, I didn’t say that, she misunderstood”. Probably like all the other misunderstandings I’ve had in the past two years. I have a constant feeling of anxiety. It is emotionally draining and stressful and I am sick over it. What to do about this alligator in a Cinderella suit? I have always loved my job until now.
Thanks
A need to vent.

Excellent compilation of useful material here and great content on this topic, thank you.

Here's an excerpt from www.badbossology.com that I think also deserves some attention, the phenomenon of today's smart bullies:

"Then there is another type of bully boss which most people would not even perceive as a bully. The “closet” bully boss is actually much more prevalent and more dangerous than the ranter or raver described above. This type of bully boss is very cleaver in their ability to hide their bullying behaviors and to manipulate the perception of bystanders against the “target”."

The closet bully is the kind who does inflict psychological pain but knows how to avoid being tagged as a bully which is a far more dangerous one tot he workplace because they never get caught and instead the keep going up ;)

WW (Working Wounded)

I work as a senior executive in a large State Government department in Perth Western Australia. About two years ago I took 5 weeks off work to treat a mental illness. I was referred to a psychiatrist who has since worked to assist me manage my illness. When I returned to work the Director General (DG)met with me and immediately removed me from my role and my membership of the Department's executive committee. He then arranged for me to do some project work in a different area of the department. I was then sent to work in an office which was located on a different floor to the people I was expected to work with. Soon the work dried up and despite my requests he failed to arrange any further work for several months. My psychiatrist was obviously not happy with this arrangement. I then lodged a grievance which triggered an offer on his part of a significant new role. Despite this agreement the DG failed to implement the role. He also directed me to report to a person at a much lower level than myself and action that was regarded as punitive and humiliating not only by myself but other staff. Following a further complaint he changed this arrangement and I was put in charge of a major project which was successfully completed in Nov 2010. Whilst this success was formally recognised he then determined that I would work on minor project work. Again this arrangement was significantly different from the arrangement applying to any of my peers. This caused me to have a period of leave to manage exascerbation of my mental illness. My psychiatrist also raised with the Worksafe authority his concerns about harmful and unlawful occupational health and safety practices. Two months ago I had my performance appraised and it was recognised that I had successfully managed the large project with significant outcomes in terms of achieving all expected outcomes on time and with significant savings. Then last week, when it came time to renegotiate my contract he advised that I had performance problems and he would not act to renew my contract. This matter was referred to the Public Sector Commissioner in Western Australia who wrote back within 24 hours advising that he would strongly advise the department to renew my contract and also to work through medical advice relating to managing my condition. At the same time he has begun an investigation into these and other related matters.

Thank you for this outlet, it's almost like therapy to be able to see other people's stories. I was at a workplace for 10 years. I have never been a climber of ladders, only try to work hard and do well and be a part of something. It's a small company and my area only had the boss, myself, and a part time position. When this women was hired as my boss, she didn't like that I knew more than she did and was just extremely difficult to work with. She was mean and angry, treated me with anger any time I had to share information with her. I noticed that she changed the way she reacted to me when other people were around. I became extremely anxious and nervous, never knowing what type of treatment I would recieve. I tried to avoid her, that just made her pursue me more and in other ways. She was always on the attack. Finally, since I was hating coming in to work everyday, after I put up with the abuse for 8 months just trying to handle it as much as I could myself, suffering in silence because I wanted to be professional, I decided to go to the general manager. Just got to the point where I asked myself "what do I have to lose?" It was a last ditch effort. He actually took me seriously and had a talk with her. She came back in after and had this look on her face and I just knew. She started watching the day to day general anger and tone with me but then she just started to find other ways to get to me. Any way she could get away with it. Finally, after one of those things I went to stand up for myself and talked to her boss. She was angry and confronted me about it. she wanted to know why I wouldn't come to her. Since I'd had it I just said " I don't trust you." She was angry and began to lay into me and accused me of making things up. Which only illustrated why I couldn't trust her. I told her, actually in a stone cold calm voice. "Go to hell, I quit." and I walked away. It was just that moment that I decided, "this women cannot be a part of my life for one more second." It was me taking my personal power to get out of that toxic relationship. Still it was the strangest experience I've ever had in my life. I felt like Alice in wonderland that fell down the rabbit hole. I did get a similar job offered to me in another facility a couple weeks later and It made me feel validated since she had made me feel like my experience was not valid. I talked with my husband and decided to take the opportunity to go back to school and get retrained for something else, so I turned it down. That's what I am doing right now, full time school. I still have nightmares, and my self confidence has been very shaken.

I happened to be a witness of an illicit relationship in our software company. It turned out that almost all my colleagues had illicit relations with her so i was cornered and reported as LYING. I was brought up as a child with good moral values . So, comments like that & considering me as odd one made me sad. I prayed to GOD & entrusted everything to HIM. Now, Iam planning to leave the workplace once I get another job . Also, Iam mentally upset because of this torture.. Even the senior executive wants me to be close to him which i cannot & will never do.

I have recently filed a case with the EEOC and its goinf well. I knew what was going on and decided to fight; this is what I did.

I knew my work was being sabotaged and I didn't have the resources to stop the bully so: 1.SEND YOUR IMMEDIATE SUPERVISOR AN EMAIL STATING YOUR CONCERNS ABOUT SABOTAGE(this creates a paper trail)

if you get no response then its a pretty good bet your supervisor is in on the sabotaging(by turning a blind eye) as well
2. KEEP SENDING EMAILS ABOUT HOW YOUR WORK BEING ALTERED AFFECTS YOU AND MAKES YOU LOOK INCOMPETENT -at this point the harassment will definitely increase because you have a legitimate paper trail that cannot be denied

3. MAKE A JOURNAL OF HYPOCRITICAL DECISIONS FROM YOUR BOSS - if your boss allows a coworker to leave work that could've been done ,but later disciplines you then the journal becomes critical

4. BUY AN AUDIO RECORDER - in 36 states its perfectly legal to record a face to face conversation and you do NOT have to inform anyone

5. SEND EMAIL REQUEST - eg. "Frank, please let me know if there are any issues regarding my perfromance, attitude, or safety as I would like to know how to improve. Thanks and have a great day." - this will drive a boss that's a bully nuts because if they don't respond the nthey'r ebascally saying you're a good employee IF they do respond then they're showing their hand

6. GET HR INVOLVED - it's critical to show you attempted to communicate with HR and someone outside your department - if you are later fired you may be able to pursuse them legally

HOPE THIS HELPS..I'M NOT A LAWYER just a guy that loved sticking it to workplace bullies!!!

Thank you for the great article.

I was working in a Camphill community called Sheiling School in England a few years ago as a co-worker (a kind of live-in volunteer) dealing with children who have special educational needs. I chose this job because I always liked helping others and I also wanted to see the world and meet new people who share the same values and outlook on life as me. [Before going to England I was very lonely in my age-group (was in my mid 20s) because I was always one of the best students in schools, and you know, many people just dont like those who have better academic results than them, despite the fact that I was never boastful, was a silent person who was helpful to others. Many deemed me as boring person and every time I entered a new place there was someone who was picking on me mostly verbally or psychologically (what you call „the silent treatment”). So, I wanted to show the world and to myself, too, that I am not a boring person, but I have never been invited anywhere. Those who envied me of course didn’t invite me, and other people who were neutral or even good-willed towards me assumed that I already had a circle of friends like they had. It would have been natural and needed by the middle 20’s to have a circle of friends, and I was afraid to tell them that I do not have any friends, because I was afraid that they will not understand. Those who have company, friends may not be able to understand how easy it is to become lonely in your age-group. They may assume you are solely to blame for your loneliness, you are not a good person or who knows what people can make out of your story.]
Anyways, when I got admitted as a volunteer co-worker to the Sheiling School, I saw it as a chance to do some good to others and towards myself at the same time, and thus healing myself of past social wounds of many years. There were female and male volunteers between 19 and 28 years in the community, and we all lived in 4 houses on the territory of a large estate. Each of the houses were supervised by a housemother (a kind of direct boss at the Sheiling School) and every volunteer had a child to take care of.

Unfortunately, among the other volunteers (who were predominantly from one country different than mine) there were people who loathed me from the first time.
And they started the psychological bullying towards me with the help of my housemother, too. My housemother started making insulting remarks to my nationality and she was also criticizing me because of small things like I put too much honey in my tea, and because of this she has to buy more honey etc. [I put one small teaspoon honey to my cup of tea, and I drank tea twice a day. Was it really too much in exchange for my working from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. (sometimes more) 6 days a week in exchange for room and full-board and 40 pounds a week? Besides, the other volunteers also put the same amount in their tea. ]
So, my housemother always found something embarassing to tell me at the dining-table, in front of the other co-workers in my house. When I told her immediately that her behaviour hurts me alot, and she was being rude to me, she answered: „I am not rude, you are too sensitive!” and started to laugh in my face. Of course those other volunteers who didnt like me used these situations as a kind of authorization to hurt me I think. I am a girl and mainly the female volunteers were nasty towards me. They were gossiping about me, gazing at me with despise in their eyes. I always noticed when they were talking about me: they were looking at me, scanning me from tip to toe, with the same hatred and a kind of superiority-complex radiating from their eyes. They never invited me to group games or tea-parties. It started to become really tiring for me. There was a female volunteer who was from my country, but she also joined in the others against me, she is still good friends with those who bullied me.

When there was a holiday at the Sheiling School and the children we took care of went home with their parents, harder times came for me… Most of the female volunteers and one of the male volunteers decided to go for a short journey for a few days during the holiday, it was being organized months before, in advance, before the atmosphere turned so much against me. I had my money in it, so I decided to go anyways, despite the hateful glances towards me. The journey was unbearable. I hated it, it was full of situations like me entering the room and everyone looking at me, becoming silent and so on.
The bullies took my food once and there was also a situation when they left me out of joint food shopping, so I was left with almost nothing to eat for 12 hours without the chance of being able to go shopping anywhere. The problem was that I wasn’t alert. I should have supposed that they dont want to include me even if I was there when they were talking about shopping for food together for all of us, for a long bus journey. But I didnt even think that they dare to exclude me from that, although there were signs, that I ignored… It just hurt me a lot that people just loathe me so much, so I didnt want to accept that. Of course, when they were talking about shopping for all of us together, I didnt protest, and I didnt even want to interfere with what they wish to buy for sandwiches, I let them organize it and do it. When we went back together to our joint youth-hostel room and they started to divide what they bought and collect the money from everyone I asked how much money is my part and the female volunteer who was from my country said. : „We just bought food for us, we didnt buy you any.”
Everyone became silent and looking at me. I felt clumsy and stupid. They were enjoying it and could see it all the way long in the shop that I only bought 1 muffin and a 2 bottles of water for the bus-journey.
After recovering from the shock I was left out, I quickly left our room and managed to buy 2 packets of salty biscuits for the long bus journey, had no more chance to buy any food unfortunately. During the long bus journey one of the bullies was gazing at me almost all the time, when I started to eat my muffin, or the biscuits she took her big bagett and started to eat it slowly, looking at the sandwich and then me and so on. She was sitting in a way we could see each other, and I couldnt help looking in her nasty eyes because she was just gazing and gazing… She did the same for days in the youth hostel as well, she was even gazing at me when I put my head on my pillow. One valuable piece of advice: never go on holiday with haters, rather let your money in it, but it isnt worth it! Nothing will change however nice you are to them, or you can do anything, but they wont accept you!

Soon after the holidays I left the my volunteer placement, it was good as I couldnt take it anymore! Later I heard that the problem was that 3 of the bully girls were in love with 2 of the male volunteers so it may have created the atmosphere against me. They were jealous of me because I am said to be attractive, this is what I think.

So, in short, this is my story, or rather, just one of my stories...

Sorry for the potential typing mistakes, I was trying to write it fast.

My management is very aware of our office bully and does absolutely NOTHING about her. I have resigned myself to the fact that the bully will always win, because no one in management will deal with it.

I was a very confident professional searching for more opportunity. I interviewed with a large university for a business manager position. The associate dean, now the university provost, was very nice and continually stated that professors can be "difficult," etc. I responded that I had worked with difficult people and the public for many years and felt confident that I could deal with "difficult" people. After he continued to repeat his warning, I said, "now you're scaring me," and he laughed and so, oh, no it's not that bad. Well, it was that bad.

The professor I worked for was a transplant from private industry, a leader in his field, and he was a tyrant. He totally messed with my head and there wasn't anyone in that college or previous employees who suffered his wrath that wouldn't agree with me. The other professors and his graduate students also suffered his abuse. But the promise of a future free college education for my children kept me there for five years until I suffered a nervous breakdown and developed high blood pressure, anxiety, and depression. I was out of work for a year. I had to get confirmation from a university appointed psychiatrist that I was indeed ill. This doctor had a reputation for being pro-business and not likely to make a finding favorable to the employee. But, he talked with me for over an hour and in the end concurred that I was indeed ill. I hope he told the university what caused of my illness. I heard the professor chilled out after I left. Sad indeed. I should have never taken the job. That first intuition was dead on.

After recovering I finally re-entered the workforce in what had been my first profession. At my interview the woman who would be my supervisor seemed hostile and agitated. My first intuition, again, was correct. She is a bully, and although not an epic abuser with a super keen intellect, she is subversive and insidious. For the first few years she was nasty and ignored me, and I turn ignored her and took the opportunity to do a tremendous amount of reading and research and expanded my knowledge and expertise in the field. But, finally her bull$hit has gotten to me.

I wonder why me? I am friendly. I am generous. I am caring. People tell me all of the time. I have friends. I participate in civic life. The perfect target.

I like some of the suggestions above. I am thinking being a ball buster is what's required. I need ball buster training. :-)

From my experience of years in the work place, bullies always win. When a target tries to stand up for his or herself, it only seems to reflect on the individual. Going to the supervisor or HR offers no solution, and typically the victim, who is simply trying to assert his or her right to work in a psychologically healthy environment free of harassment, is branded as "unstable" or "the problem." There literally are no solutions once the bullying starts. A person can only confront the bully as calmly as possible, but of often this will not do any good. The best thing to do is not let the bully socially isolate you. You have to build relationships of some sort with others, even if that means stepping outside of your area or department in order to do so. The silent treatment, befriending everyone else in your are but you - these are tactics I've seen bullies use to make the target feel powerless and isolated. It's horrible that anyone has to put up with this sort of thing in the workplace, but it is even more horrible that management does nothing. I have literally never once seen management in any organization or company do anything to properly handle a situation of mobbing or bullying - not once! In the end, the bullies always win, and it is a sad commentary on our culture and our society as a whole. So next time you see someone being isolated or bullied at work, don't participate and don't fall into the role of bystander. Do something pro-active like taking the bully aside or perhaps counter his or her behavior. Don't listen to the bullies gossip, and also think twice about being this person's friend. the reason a bully has the power to do this to a person is because others do nothing. So don't be that person who does nothing. Stand up for what's right and stick up for those that are being mobbed and bullied. If we all did that the bullies wouldn't wreck good companies and destroy people's livelihoods and careers.

Wow! I was stunned to see how many people are living with work bullying. I am currently in the middle of it and feel completely helpless since the bullies are leaders that are allied against me since I reported a client abuse to my supervisor the first month of employment. It involved the senior mentor of my program and the lead vocational counselor (we work with disabled people). The mentor was literally screaming at a client and the counselor stood by doing nothing to stop it. I also witness the counselor using sarcasm that caused another client to storm-off. All things that should never happen in this field. I have over 30 years experience and my sis is developmentally disabled so have a good sense of what should/should not happen. Anyway, I reported the atrocity to my boss, who, unbeknownst to me at the time,was very good friends with the counselor and mentor. He was also living with another supervisor. There is a lot of nepotism allowed where I work and he is also the supervisor's supervisor! Go figure....Well, he acted very interested and did report my concerns to everyone - not just the boss, who I know very well and who I now know he can't stand, but he also reported my concerns to the very people I have concerns about. Now, one year later, I have been bullied in a variety of ways by all of his allies and his live-in supervisor girlfriend who I have to work with too, the head counselor who has dismissed me on many occasions, lied to me and about me, gossiped to my colleagues about me and insinuated I am a liar at a public meeting. My boss has sabotaged my work and so has she. They have also talked to other people in sister agency's so that my reputation has been ruined. I am documenting some of it and also emailed my bosses boss (who does know what is going on but does not know what to do about it), so there is a small paper-trail. It is so difficult to know what to do and there is no one to trust. I can't afford a lawyer, but oh, how I would love to see justice done to those that think absolutely nothing about trashing a good person's reputation because they do not want to look at their own major issues. I have been told that I should have reported the abuse initially to the Justice Department and that would have protected me somewhat, but I thought and trusted my boss whom I have worked with and know for a long time. I moved away for 15 yrs and just moved back to town and got a job working at a place I had happily worked at before for a number of years. Things have changed here drastically and not in a good way. Moral is at its lowest and everyone is desperate to be a boss of some kind and no ethical expense is spared - at least for me. The only good thing that has happened since my reporting the initial abuse is that the vocational counselor has checked her sarcasm and screaming at clients has stopped. People are treating our clients better but the counselors are way under-experienced with this population or just maybe not interested in treating them like adults. There is little kindness shown and it is just downright weird. I stick-up to folks but at the expense of being completely trashed by the vocational counselors....My health has begun to deteriorate as well. You are correct, it feels like PTSD. Thank you for listening.

Im sorry you have all had to deal with this. It's vital that all of us learn from this and never play the bystander. To me the most hurtful thing was that no one ever stood up for me despite witnessing blatant rudeness and unprovoked hostility. And this is what I think hurt the most. Ive always had issues with women, and ive never been subjected to any bullying by men. Im not sure why women are often so cruel and mean to other women, but it is a rampant problem in the workplace. Women also gang up on other women and often try to get others to join in. I hope I never have a female boss again and I hope I can focus my career in a less female dominated field in the future. I hate to bash my own gender, but ive been un the workplace long enough to know that this is the norm when comes to female behavior. Too many women concentrated in one area, department; division, or organization equals too much drama and impacts productivity, morale, and efficiency. I've seen this at every job ive ever had even when I was not on the receiving end. I'll never tolerate someone being bullied again after what I had to endure. And if there are any managers reading this, all I have to say is that you need to step in and put a stop to this kind of behavior in your area. Otherwise you will lose your best people. And don't assume you know what's going on because from what I've seen the bully is usually the biggest kiss up to the boss.

"...his or her..."

Why are these words not in alphabetical order. Do male words go before female words in the list, because males somehow should be put first, by default. Stop being sexist folks! It is 2014 and about time all this stopped.