Constructive Wallowing

How to beat bad feelings by letting yourself have them

Tina Gilbertson LPC

Never Call a Child Selfish

Did your parents ever call you selfish when you were a child? Here’s why that probably did some damage, and what one can do to teach unselfish behavior to children.

When Your Partner Won’t Change

Is it that your partner can’t change or that he won’t? Does it matter?

How to Be Yourself in a Relationship

If you’re someone who feels like you lose yourself whenever you’re in a relationship, here are some tips to stay grounded.

Stop Testing Your Partner

Are you testing your partner without realizing it? If so, you could be putting you both in a difficult position, and creating the very problems you fear.

Feeling Insecure in Your Relationship?

When it seems like your partner might leave you any day, it’s natural to feel insecure. But those feelings aren’t always based in reality.

How to Know If Your Requests Are Reasonable

Is it reasonable to ask your husband to make you dinner? Maybe. Just about any request is OK, depending on what’s behind it.

Is Being Passive Ruining Your Life?

Especially in uncertain times, it’s easy to just sit back and see what happens. But taking a passive approach to life is not necessarily your best bet.

When Old Emotions Won’t Go Away

If you’re carrying the weight of old emotions from things that happened years ago, it may be time to do some de-cluttering.

When Self-Care Doesn’t Work

Self-care is important, but it doesn’t always work. Find out what may be going wrong in your case, and how to address it so you can feel better sooner.

How to Do the Bare Minimum

Doing nothing but the bare minimum has a bad rap. But sometimes, it’s exactly what’s needed to get the wheels turning again.

Hanlon’s Razor and Estrangement

Does estrangement feel like a weapon your adult child is using to hurt you? According to Hanlon's Razor, that's likely not the case.

Should You Hire a P.I. to Find an Estranged Family Member?

If you're thinking of hiring a private detective to locate your estranged adult child or another family member, read this first.

5 Ways to Ruin a Good Apology

You already apologized, but the other person is still acting like you didn’t. What went wrong?

Is Your Estranged Adult Child the Black Sheep of the Family?

Does your family have a black sheep? If so, you know who it is, and so does that person. If they’re estranged, here’s how you could help.

How to Stop Feeling Insecure

Here's a simple tool for coping with (and healing from) chronic insecurity. Start practicing today for long-term results.

How to Make a Good Decision in 7 (Reasonably Easy) Steps

Do you ever wish you had a machine that could make decisions for you? With these 7 steps, now you do.

One Way to Deal With Someone on A Power Trip

There are many things that could be going on inside the mind of someone who appears to be on a power trip. This article looks at one factor you might have missed.

How Long Does Parent-Child Estrangement Usually Last?

There are essentially four factors that influence how long you're estranged from your adult son or daughter. Find out how to make the best of what you can control.

Don't Be a Mind-Reader

If you're used to reading people's "energy" and making decisions based on your guesses, you might be getting it wrong at least half the time—or even more.

Whatever Happened to Respecting Your Parents?

How do parents get respect from a generation that grew up not respecting their elders?

My (Adult) Child, Myself

Parents tend to "just be themselves" when dealing with their adult children. So what happens between you tells you a lot about your own inner dialogue.

The Best Approach to an Unsolvable Problem

Do you feel helpless when someone close to you has a problem with no good solution? You may not be able to solve it, but there is something you can do.

Is Your Estranged Son or Daughter a Narcissist?

Narcissists often lack empathy. If your child doesn’t care enough about your feelings to call on Mother’s Day, is it narcissism or something else?

Stages of Estrangement: Maintenance

Whether parents reconcile with their estranged adult children or not, both connection and disconnection require continued emotional effort.

Stages of Estrangement: Transformation

The emotional gridlock of estrangement can come to an end when the rejected parent begins to focus on personal growth.

Stages of Estrangement: Acceptance

No parent wants to accept that they’ll never talk to their child again. But that’s not what acceptance of estrangement is about.

Stages of Estrangement: Despair

Parents rejected by adult children can spend too much time here.

Stages of Estrangement: Shock

If you’ve been cut off by your adult child, you may go through up to five different stages before this is all over—and they’re not the same as stages of grief.

Are Affirmations Holding You Back?

Your actual beliefs about relationships won’t budge in the face of affirmations.

A Simple Technique for a Closer Relationship

Do you ever wish you could feel closer to your partner, but aren't sure how? Here's one thing you can do to close the distance.

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