Constructive Wallowing

How to beat bad feelings by letting yourself have them

Tina Gilbertson LPC, DCC

Why Your Estranged Child Doesn’t Want to Reconcile

Many adult children cut off their parents when they don’t see possibilities for change in relationships that feel inherently flawed. Here’s how parents can counteract that bias.

Embarrassed? Here's How to Get Over It Quickly

You don't have to remain self-conscious all your life. Researchers have come up with a strategy for reducing embarrassment through simple thought-refocusing.

The Secret Key to Personal Growth

It's possible to make just about any change in your life with sufficient effort. But permanent changes all have one thing in common, and it's way more subtle.

Why You Need to Cry Over Spilt Milk

Allowing yourself to feel bad about a failure may not come naturally, but it turns out to be predictive of future success.

Could 60 Be the New 40?

Bette Davis famously said, “Getting old is not for sissies.” It doesn't have to be that bad. Don’t let aging rob you of mental health and happiness.

A Letter from Santa’s Therapist

If you think it’s all sugar plums and gum drops for Santa Claus, think again. According to his therapist, he’s got everything from anxiety to trauma.

The Best Response to Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Is someone’s passive-aggressive behavior driving you up the wall? Maybe you’re working too hard. Here’s what to do instead.

A Passive-Aggressive Thanksgiving

A tongue-in-cheek look at what’s going on under the surface at the passive-aggressive family’s holiday table.

Are You Supportive or Codependent?

Do you disappear in relationships, getting lost in the problems and concerns of others? Use this technique to trick yourself into holding better boundaries.

Is It the Silent Treatment or Estrangement?

Five ways to know if you’re estranged from someone, or they’re giving you the silent treatment.

Why Trying to Be Happy Is So Depressing

Study sheds light on why there's so much depression in countries that emphasize the pursuit of happiness

Why Complainers Need Your Compassion

The freedom to complain is part of a healthy society. Here's how best to respond to your own, or someone else's, occasional complaining.

8 Ways to Help Your Partner Understand You

Sometimes the way you feel can be hard for your partner to hear. These tips will increase your chances of getting through, being heard, and having your needs met.

How to Stop Worrying When Your Thoughts Won’t Cooperate

Underlying feelings that haven’t been processed can create thoughts that fuel worry. When thought-stopping doesn’t work, here’s what to try instead.

When You Can't Forgive

Forgiveness is natural when certain conditions are met. But in the absence of one or more of these, it’s not your fault if you can’t get past it.

Office Gossip: How to Make Sure It's NOT About You

If people didn’t behave badly at work, there’d be no such thing as office gossip. Here’s how to reduce your chances of being the subject.

9 Ways to Tell if Your Breakup Will Last

Are you going through a break up, but having a hard time? Some of these factors might be working against you.

What Makes Someone an A-hole?

Is it arrogance? Disrespect? Or just pure evil? Scratch the surface of an a-hole and you’ll find a universal truth that may surprise you.

When Your Son or Daughter Stops Calling

Parents might panic when their 20-something children move away and cut off communication. But at that age, some estrangement may be par for the course. It's usually temporary.

Why Some People Will Never Have Your Back

When people don’t listen to you, don’t have your back, or constantly let you down, are they treating you the way you treat yourself?

The Real Reason We Over-Think Relationships

Do you get caught in over-thinking or over-analyzing relationships instead of just enjoying them? Here’s what’s really going on, and what you can do about it.

7 Ways to Get Your Self-Esteem Back After Divorce

Is divorce taking a bite out of your self-esteem? Fight back by finding ways to rise to the emotional challenge, and impress the heck out of yourself (and your kids).

Service Is Not Your Purpose in Life

Is the ultimate purpose in life to serve others? If this question makes you uneasy, get ready to take yourself off the hook.

Difficulty Making Decisions?

Decision-making is hard for many of us. There are 3 good reasons, and a 4th not-so-good one, why decisions can be hard. Here’s how to handle those and get better at making choices.

Why Your Past Matters

I’ll give you 4 practical reasons to stop living just for the future and give your past a little love.

3 Essential Ways to Protect Your Personal Boundaries

How many times have you ended a relationship because the other person kept ignoring your boundaries? Here’s how to get even hard cases to show some respect.

How to Get Your Partner to Open Up

You want to talk it out, but your partner or friend is conflict-avoidant and/or giving you the silent treatment. Use this strategy to get them to open up.

8 Things You Have the Right to Expect From Your Relationship

Feeling shy about asking for what you need? You're entitled to the basics. Find out what they are, and ask with confidence.

3 Reasons Why Conflict Can Be Good for Relationships

Plenty of us prefer to avoid conflict because it seems like the least troublesome path. But if we really understood the price we pay with our silence, we might reconsider.

The 12 Days of Psychotherapy

If a partridge in a pear tree is less appealing to you than gaining insight into your psyche, this new therapy-inspired Christmas carol is for you.

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