Becoming a Better Person Takes Time

Every year in January, the number of gym memberships increases.[1] Running paths become busier. People vow to become more mindful, eat healthier, save money, improve job performance, or become better people, defined in various ways.[2] They want to grow more patient, less angry, more present, or more generous over the coming year. These are common resolutions.

Setting resolutions in the new year can be a great impetus to improve in many respects. Character improvement, in particular, is a worthwhile objective. If this is your goal, what should you know?

1. Picking an exemplar helps.

Exemplars are role models. These are the people we admire or appreciably perceive.[3] Exemplars are powerful because they both demonstrate what it looks like to be excellent in the relevant respect and motivate you to be likewise.

An example is that you decide to grow in digital temperance in the new year, reducing the time you spend online. If you can locate one (in a social context where many people are transfixed by screens) having a friend who models this virtue can illustrate how to reorder your digital habits. They can demonstrate how you fall short of the virtue.[4] And when motivation wanes, they can prompt you to persist in improvement.

2. Virtues form slowly.

Aristotle, the ancient Greek philosopher, defined moral virtues as habits of the soul.[5] They are habitual dispositions to think, feel, and act well, reliably and long-term. Virtues are acquired by practice.[6] We have to do them to be them.

Seen one way, this explanation simplifies things. It takes the guesswork out of character improvement. If I want to become more honest, I need to be honest, repeatedly, until doing so stably defines me.

But seen another way, this means needing to submit myself to a lengthy process of change. In the same way that I cannot become a master violinist or an expert builder overnight, I should not expect to become virtuous quickly either. Excellent habits form slowly.

Considering that 23 percent of adults quit their New Year’s resolutions by the end of the first week of January,[7] this is an important reminder. If you would like to improve your character, expect that this will take time.

3. Virtue is not a performance.

Virtue-signaling is speaking as though you align with a set of values that, in practice, you are not actually concerned with. Sometimes we do this for social clout or self-promotion.[8] Other times we do it because we want to care about something, but we don’t yet. An example is expressing concerns about sustainability issues online, and garnering positive attention for doing so, without intending to do anything about it.

In the same way that talking about vegetables does not make you healthier (you must eat them, unfortunately), talking about virtue does not make a positive difference in your life, or in anyone else’s life for that matter.

Sometimes virtue-signaling can impede virtue development because it permits us to self-deceive.[9] When we hide behind empty moral talk, we may begin to think of ourselves in terms of virtues we do not possess. This positions us poorly to improve because we already think we are great.[10]

We should not just talk about good actions. We should do them. That’s what counts.

Final Thoughts

The new year presents an opportunity to self-reflect in ways that we do not always take the time to do otherwise, and resolutions can prompt us to make steps toward improvement. Resolving to work on character in the new year is a great choice. Selecting suitable exemplars, maintaining a long-term approach, and focusing on making substantial changes (rather than just talking about virtue) can help with this process.

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