Why Can’t I Get Started Decluttering My Spaces and My Life?

The best outcomes start with the best assessments.

Posted May 21, 2020

This week's post is designed to help you answer, “Why can't I get started? Why is it so difficult to get started and then keep doing it until I can finish something?”

The easy answer is, starting is the hardest part! But often it is more complex than that.

Starting requires a personal commitment that something we want to change is a high enough priority in our life that we are willing to gather the information, tools, and energy to make that change. Sometimes life gets complicated. Our energies are diverted to other challenges or perhaps dead ends.  We remain in this off-course behavior pattern long enough that we don’t realize that we have normalized this diversion and we try to manage life like driving a car on empty. Even a car will only do that for awhile.  There is a limit. The state of being overwhelmed, frozen, and repeatedly unmotivated is a warning sign that we, like that car, have, or are reaching our limit.

Remember the best outcomes start with the best assessments.

Come on a journey of self-discovery with me. Throughout the next few posts, we are going to undertake a path of self-assessment to demystify those hidden pitfalls that are draining our energy, making it difficult to make anything other than a momentary commitment, perpetuate those feelings of repeated disappointment and self-blame based on the fact that we don't seem able to perform the simplest tasks on a regular enough basis to keep ourselves ahead of the clutter in our lives, homes, minds, bodies, and spirits.

Remember that hoarding is not just about an accumulation of stuff. It is also an accumulation of other debris that we keep in our life, our minds, our daily functioning. Things that cost us our energy and make us doubt ourselves. This debris and burden of worries, insecurities, fears, and outdated rules compile and compound to defeat us and deprive us of the life we deserve.

Hoarding is usually connected to a state of being extremely overwhelmed. let's do our best together, through this blog over the next few weeks to overcome overwhelmed.

Because the best outcomes start with the best assessments, the person who gives themself the most behavioral options has the most effective influence on the systems they are living with, especially those they want to change or improve in some way.

The three pathways to creating this hoard, be it in your spaces or otherwise in your life are:

  1. Genetics.  There are certain conditions that can represent challenges in life, like a genetic pattern of inheritance, in families.  Are you aware of any patterns in your family history?
  2. Modeling. What were you taught growing up? What are you modeling today that may not be working for you? If you had the opportunity to make a change that would make a difference to finding happiness and meaning, how much of a priority would you make it?  Are any of those lessons you learned earlier in life more baggage than aids and supports? Let's demystify them, taking an honest look to see whether you want to continue carrying those things? Do they fit with who you are today moving forward?  If not, what is behind the fact that you still use them, even though they may not be meeting your needs or yielding the results you deserve?
  3. Co-morbid Factors (Another disorder or challenge coexisting with hoarding.) Are you living with any of these disorders? The list is also available on www.hoarding.ca so that you can assess what might apply to your life.

It doesn't matter whether you tick enough boxes in any of these conditions to have a disorder. Use the information to familiarize and arm yourself. If you are dealing with any form of hoarding behavior, identify the ways you may be on a continuum of any of these other comorbidities.  Then let's factor those as barriers and challenges into your personal solutions. Over the next few blogs, we will help you develop more awareness about the challenges and barriers holding you back from decluttering your spaces and your life.

We will also look at these potential comorbidities through the lens of the following questions:

  • Are these life factors in your daily life significant and disruptive enough that you should make it more of a priority to look for appropriate, effective supports? Let's find out where the best source of the necessary information and supports are. You deserve to move forward.  
  • You don't have to accept defeat or stagnation. We are not stagnant beings; we are capable of change, growth, and neuroplasticity.
  • Are there examples of how these factors may have impacted important decisions that you have made?  Have they ever impacted daily or life goals, desires, dreams, and wishes that you have for yourself and others?  
Pixabay free image
Source: Pixabay free image

Know that if you can dream something, there's a high probability that with enough work and perseverance you can achieve it. Do you have the knowledge, skills, and experience to make those dreams happen? If not, what do you still have to do to develop them? Life is too precious to waste.  You were born worthy. No one or nothing can take that away from you!  You however can give it away. You deserve better than to stay stuck. Let’s do the work needed, a bit at a time and UNDO STUCK.