Complicated Love

Relationships

Relationship Resolutions for the New Year

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on December 31, 2025

Rather than making a long list of resolutions you won't keep this New Year's, here are some ideas for bringing new life, vitality and warmth to the relationship you cherish most.

Rather than making a long list of resolutions you won't keep this New Year's, here are some ideas for bringing new life, vitality and warmth to the relationship you cherish most.

Relationships

When You Dislike the One You Love

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on November 28, 2025

Do you love your partner, but sometimes also dislike them? Those co-existing feelings are common. Here are some strategies for working toward positive change.

Do you love your partner, but sometimes also dislike them? Those co-existing feelings are common. Here are some strategies for working toward positive change.

Aging

Can Your Marriage Survive Retirement?

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on September 15, 2025

Retirement dreams can become nightmares unless couples address some common challenges, like these seven.

Retirement dreams can become nightmares unless couples address some common challenges, like these seven.

Grief

The Unexpected Tears of Grief in Complicated Relationships

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on July 30, 2025

The news that someone has died, who was once close to you or who has brought you pain all your life, can bring unexpected reactions, from numbness to tears.

The news that someone has died, who was once close to you or who has brought you pain all your life, can bring unexpected reactions, from numbness to tears.

Forgiveness

The Gentle Art of Letting Go

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on June 20, 2025

Personal Perspective: Romantic breakups are uniquely painful, but out of the wreckage can come new insights and a chance to let go of anger and bitterness.

Personal Perspective: Romantic breakups are uniquely painful, but out of the wreckage can come new insights and a chance to let go of anger and bitterness.

Relationships

Crazy in Love?

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on May 23, 2025

When newly in love, it's easy to lose touch with yourself and the rest of your full life. Here's how to keep a healthy balance of all the love in your life.

When newly in love, it's easy to lose touch with yourself and the rest of your full life. Here's how to keep a healthy balance of all the love in your life.

Family Dynamics

5 Reasons Why Parents Get Banished by Adult Children

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on March 30, 2025

5. Critical commentary that feels infantilizing.

5. Critical commentary that feels infantilizing.

Relationships

5 Signs That Love Is Real

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on January 27, 2025

Love bombing, constant togetherness, and jealousy are not signs of a healthy, lasting relationship. Real love means many small decisions that add up to a lifetime of caring.

Love bombing, constant togetherness, and jealousy are not signs of a healthy, lasting relationship. Real love means many small decisions that add up to a lifetime of caring.

Nostalgia

Emotional Time Travel

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on December 17, 2024

Do you time travel to the past when present life is stressful or lonely? In looking back, you can find clues to positive changes in the present and new possibilities.

Do you time travel to the past when present life is stressful or lonely? In looking back, you can find clues to positive changes in the present and new possibilities.

Adverse Childhood Experiences

Echoes of the Past

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on October 21, 2024

Are your love relationships hard to explain? Do you tend to break up impulsively? Does he avoid commitment? Is she like the mother who caused you pain? Here's why and how to stop.

Are your love relationships hard to explain? Do you tend to break up impulsively? Does he avoid commitment? Is she like the mother who caused you pain? Here's why and how to stop.

Relationships

Stuck in a Toxic Relationship?

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on September 30, 2024

Why people stay in perpetually conflicted, even abusive relationships and how can they break free, whether or not they decide to leave.

Why people stay in perpetually conflicted, even abusive relationships and how can they break free, whether or not they decide to leave.

Gratitude

Reframing Romantic Breakups

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on May 27, 2024

While romantic breakups can be devastating, they can also be reframed as opportunities for growth, gratitude, and new insight.

While romantic breakups can be devastating, they can also be reframed as opportunities for growth, gratitude, and new insight.

Relationships

Relationship Resentment

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on April 22, 2024

Resentment can have a corrosive effect on love. Reflection, communication, and gratitude are key to preserving it.

Resentment can have a corrosive effect on love. Reflection, communication, and gratitude are key to preserving it.

Relationships

Why Writing Letters Can Help Couples Rediscover Love

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on March 25, 2024

If you're at an impasse with a partner but want to resolve your differences, writing a letter can help spark new connection and hope in challenging times.

If you're at an impasse with a partner but want to resolve your differences, writing a letter can help spark new connection and hope in challenging times.

Relationships

8 Reasons Someone Can Feel Disliked

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on February 26, 2024

If you feel disliked, others may have good reason to keep their distance. Some of these can't be changed but some can.

If you feel disliked, others may have good reason to keep their distance. Some of these can't be changed but some can.

Relationships

7 Phrases That Enhance Your Communication

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on January 29, 2024

When it comes to growing in love and making that love last, words matter. What you say and how you say it can make a critical difference in whether you grow together or apart.

When it comes to growing in love and making that love last, words matter. What you say and how you say it can make a critical difference in whether you grow together or apart.

Forgiveness

Breaking Free of Grudges

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on October 27, 2023

Holding grudges can keep one mired in anger, resentment and bitterness for years, negatively impacting other relationships, one's quality of life and even one's physical health.

Holding grudges can keep one mired in anger, resentment and bitterness for years, negatively impacting other relationships, one's quality of life and even one's physical health.

Relationships

Psychospeak: How and Why to Stop This Communication Blocker

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on September 25, 2023

A new communication blocker—with partners labeling each other with psychiatric diagnoses or terms—is in evidence these days. Do you do this? Here's why and how to stop.

A new communication blocker—with partners labeling each other with psychiatric diagnoses or terms—is in evidence these days. Do you do this? Here's why and how to stop.

Relationships

6 Love Myths That Can Lead to Misery

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on August 28, 2023

Love is a leap of faith, but sometimes optimism is misplaced. What beliefs feed into love myths that can lead to misery? And what decisions can lead to lasting love?

Love is a leap of faith, but sometimes optimism is misplaced. What beliefs feed into love myths that can lead to misery? And what decisions can lead to lasting love?

Anger

When Words Fail: 5 Ways to Tame Out-of-Control Conflict

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on July 31, 2023

Words can fail as anger escalates and communication-blocking habits fuel fury rather than resolution. Consider these tips for keeping conflict productive.

Words can fail as anger escalates and communication-blocking habits fuel fury rather than resolution. Consider these tips for keeping conflict productive.