Building Community While Keeping Safe

Recent events, both globally and domestically, have left many of us—particularly feminist women and allies—feeling unmoored. Some of us are left questioning whom to trust and where we are welcome. While there may be the urge to withdraw, shut down, or even self-isolate, we will always be creatures who thrive best in community. We need connection with others, not only for our personal well-being but also to ensure the physical, mental, and emotional well-being of the people we care about. Furthermore, if progress toward women’s racial and gender equality is what we seek, we cannot reach those goals on our own. That work must be done in coalition.

How do we build community, attract allies, and provide mutual aid and support while insulating ourselves from harm? Here are a few suggestions:

1. Prioritize Emotional Safety Through Digital and In-Person Boundaries

You do not have to entertain conversations with oppositional or hostile people. While there is a time and place for bridge-building, it is also important to recognize when it is unfruitful or even dangerous to do so. Hold firm boundaries in person and online by letting people know what you will and will not tolerate and following through. Boundaries are not unkind—they are the way you protect yourself and others in your community from those who directly or indirectly seek to cause harm.

2. Connect With Aligned Communities

Seek groups or local organizations with similar values as your own. Nonprofits, social clubs, neighborhood gatherings, and even some online spaces are great places to begin. Building relationships through these outlets helps foster a more united base of support and a network of like-minded women and allies. It is only when we have a strong foundation of trust, safety, and support that we can effectively engage with communities outside our own.

3. Build Self-Care and Emotional Resilience

In emotionally destabilizing times, self-care is often the first thing we neglect. It is important to make sure that you are investing in yourself, even when it feels difficult. Self-care blossoms outward, beginning with you and flowing out toward the people around you. Self-care can happen independently or with others, and both have their merits. Check on people within your community when you have the capacity to do so, making sure to remind them to take care of themselves and offering support when possible.

4. Educate and Inform Others

Not everyone will have the emotional and energetic availability to educate other people, but for those who do, it is crucial to engage outsiders in a way that encourages them to open their minds to new ideas. This can be done through sharing useful data and statistics, sharing personal stories, and appealing to logic, reason, empathy, and compassion. Coalition and advocacy involve outreach to potential allies, putting aside differences to achieve our goals.

5. Build Solidarity Through Allyship

Reach out to communities who are especially at risk, including marginalized and minority groups, and offer support or resources. This reinforces solidarity and broadens the reach of feminist ideals. It is also important to unite with other like-minded communities to build a broader movement that can address feminist issues from multiple angles, creating a stronger and more cohesive front. Although it can be difficult, it is also important to welcome with caution allies to our own communities, giving them space to learn and grow while letting them know how they are expected to show up as allies.

6. Stay Engaged With Local Politics

Focus on local-level activism, where grassroots actions can often create inroads for larger systemic change. It can be discouraging to focus on change at the national or global level, which takes time and organized effort. Focusing on local government can provide tangible results on a shorter timeline that will benefit one’s community and make ripples of change that can turn into tidal waves.

7. Allow Yourself to Rest

Remember that you are not a superhero, and the work of change does not sit on your shoulders alone. It is easy to overestimate our ability to effect change, thinking that if you could just keep pushing, you can create the world you wish to see on your own. The truth is that no one can do it single-handedly, and the work will continue even when you allow yourself to rest. You will be so much more effective when you are rested and clear-headed. Let yourself step away from the work when you need to, trusting yourself to return to it when you are ready.

Community building, outreach, and advocacy are vital to creating systemic change. That work can be difficult in emotionally turbulent and destabilizing times. Through the careful practice of doing such work while protecting ourselves and the members of our communities, we can create effective change without compromising our physical, mental, and emotional well-being.