Compassion Matters

How to save a life

Lisa Firestone Ph.D.

How Anxious Attachment Style Affects Relationships

Insecurity, anxiety, disatisfaction, and jealousy can all be effects of experiencing an anxious attachment pattern. How does this pattern form and go on to limit our relationships?

Do You or Your Partner Have an Avoidant Attachment Pattern?

Children with an avoidant attachment pattern learn to deny their needs and take care of themselves. When they grow up, this can leave them seeking more distance in a relationship.

What Kids Really Need from Their Parents

Research suggests that the best way to help our kids feel secure is to make them feel safe, seen, and soothed. But what does that entail?

How to Stop Overreacting to Your Partner

No matter what we feel in a given moment, we can learn to react in healthier ways that don’t do lasting damage to ourselves, our partner, or our loving feelings in a relationship.

Why Do We Trigger Each Other in Relationships?

Why do relationships that started off sweet and simple become a hotbed for projections and provocations that steer us away from our loving feelings?

What’s Ruining Your Sex Life?

Having a critical voice sounding off in our heads during sex is a little like having an extra person in the room judging us and our performance. So, how do we quiet this critic?

Narcissim and the Critical Inner Voice

What goes on in the mind of a narcissist? What drives them to build themselves up, while tearing others down?

The Scientific Approach to Keeping New Year’s Resolutions

How can we adopt a new strategy for this new year that can help us meet our goals? Here are some effective, science-based tips that can guide us on a path to personal growth.

Silencing the Troll Inside Your Head

Most of us live with an inner troll, commenting on everything we do. Here are five steps we can take to silence it.

How to Fight the Loneliness Epidemic

Loneliness is at epidemic levels in the United States, presenting a danger to the length and quality of our lives. How can we shift our outlook and take action to feel less lonely?

You May Be Wrong About Your Attachment Pattern

If you can accurately identify your pattern, you can start to form more secure attachments, challenge defensive adaptations, and enjoy closer, more satisfying relationships.

One Tool We Need After a Tragedy

When tragedies occur, we may feel hopeless, paralyzed, powerless, or defeated. Psychological First Aid can be a valuable tool.

Empowering Yourself to Conquer an Addiction

One way to help claim power over our actions and our addiction is to get to know both the thoughts that drive our behavior and the feelings we're trying to escape.

5 Ways Working on Ourselves Can Benefit Our Kids

At any point, we can influence our kids in a profoundly positive way, but that pursuit may have a lot more to do with how we develop as people than how we perform as parents.

What We Need to Know About OCD

Many people experiencing symptoms are not even aware that OCD exists or that treatment is available. Yet, they can feel better and get their lives back.

Why You Pick Fights With Your Partner — and How to Stop

Why we fall into an unnecessary pattern of frequent fighting with our partners — and five important ways we can break this cycle.

3 Principles to Raise Free and Happy Kids

Finding a balance between protecting our children and letting them find their own way is a fine line to walk—but there are certain principles that can help any parent succeed.

It’s Time to Evict the Parents in Your Head

We need to make emotional sense of our experience with our parents in order to be free to live our own lives.

3 Questions That Can Change the Way You Feel About Sex

Here are three questions to ask yourself to help you feel more alive toward your own honest feelings about sexuality.

5 Truths about Anxiety to Help You Stay Present

Here are five things to recognize about anxiety that can help us stay more present and feel much calmer in our lives.

The Dangers of Separating Children from Parents

There are decades of attachment research showing us just how serious the consequences of separating kids from their parents can be.

How to Reach Out to Someone Who May Be Suicidal

If you want to know how to approach someone you’re worried about, here’s what you can do.

Getting the Love You Want

If we can be open, curious, and willing to explore our patterns and where they come from, we can take a great deal of power over our romantic lives.

It’s Not Your Fault: Overcoming Trauma

Recognizing that you came by your pain honestly and innocently can be freeing and the beginning of healing.

5 Ways to Get Closer to Each Other Today

There are tangible actions you can take today to reconnect you to your own warm, loving feelings and bring you closer to your partner.

How to Fall Back in Love With Your Partner

There are real, proactive actions you can take to reconnect with what you felt when you fell in love.

Who Do You Think You Are? Why You Could Be Wrong

When you get a wrong idea about who you are as a child, you can face a lifetime of trying to prove or disprove that identity. Neither extreme reflects who you really are.

Dealing with Unresolved Trauma

When we don’t deal with our trauma, we carry it with us. We haven’t made sense of our story, and therefore, our past is still impacting our present in countless invisible ways.

The Wait for the College Acceptance Letter

We need to address the emotional state of students waiting on college acceptance letters. How can we help them understand, accept, and cope with the feelings that arise?

Healing from Attachment Issues

Experiencing an insecure attachment pattern as a child can affect us in powerful ways throughout our lives. However, as adults, it’s possible to develop earned secure attachment.

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