Compassion Matters

How to save a life

Lisa Firestone Ph.D.

Tips for Coping with the Stress of Current Affairs

Whatever state we're in right now, self-care is essential. There are powerful tools and practices to adopt that can help us take care of ourselves and one another.

3 Steps to Sustain a Loving Relationship

Maintaining a strong sense of self while being able to get emotionally close to a romantic partner is one of the most effective ways to keep love alive. Here's how to do it.

How to Get Back the Spark in Your Relationship

Every interaction we have with our partner is a possibility for lively connection. How do we break deadening habits and drop into this "plane of possibility?"

How to Improve Your Outlook

Why does our outlook change so quickly—and how can we connect to a healthier, more realistic way of seeing ourselves and the world around us?

Making Sense of Trauma

While trauma can seem like a complex and daunting problem with no quick fix, there are strategies to help you free yourself of much of the pain of your past.

The One New Year’s Resolution You Should Make This Year

By adopting this one practice, we'll be better able to keep any resolution we make this New Year.

The Problem With Shopping for Relationships Online

What you may find if you dig deeper into your online dating behavior is that what you think you’re looking for isn’t always what you’re actually seeking out.

The Hidden Powers of Gratitude

In honor of the thankful holidays ahead, here are four science-backed reasons to practice more gratitude—and three ways to do it.

How Do Adverse Childhood Events Impact Us?

Adverse childhood experiences have a lasting impact on our mental and physical health. But can positive childhood experiences help protect those who've been affected by trauma?

Why It’s Important to Break Routines

Seeking out and actively choosing novelty helps us feel more alive, engaged, and attuned to ourselves and others.

How to Stop Yourself From “Losing It” With Your Partner

Whenever we feel triggered in a particular way by our partner, we're likely to fall back into the same bad habit. But there is a way to break this cycle.

The One Proven Way to Feel Close to Your Partner Right Now

Whatever challenges a couple is facing, there is one skill anyone can work on to greatly improve a relationship; that skill is listening. Here are five ways to be better at it.

Why Millennials Are So Lonely

With social media as a potential facilitator, what are the other factors, psychological processes, and cognitive influences leading Millenials to feel lonelier?

These Invisible Memories Shape Our Lives

The more we can learn about implicit memory, the better we can understand ourselves and not let our experiences and reactions in the present get hijacked by our past.

Are You Addicted to Your Relationship?

It's one thing to love your partner. It's another thing to be obsessively focused on your relationship to a degree that is destructive to your mental health.

Addressing Suicide Risk in Trying Times

Should the challenges the world faces increase suicide risk, we need to be ready to help those in need.

How’s That Working for You?

Many people adopt the attitude that something about their personality is unchangeable. The reason for this has to do with false beliefs they took on early in their lives.

Are You Expecting Too Much from Your Partner?

When we over-rely on our partner in these seven ways, we can diminish our own loving feelings and put undo strain on the relationship.

5 Ways to Rewrite Your Breakup Story and Feel Better

There are certain strategies we can use to shift our mindset from ruminating about the breakup to having a clear and compassionate understanding of ourselves and a path forward.

Making Sense of Your Life to Empower Your Future

Research demonstrates that creating a coherent narrative of your early life frees you to be the author of your future.

5 Things to Do When Your Inner Critic Takes Over

How can we get ahold of that pivotal moment when our inner critic takes over and stand up to it as the enemy it is? Here are five things to try.

How Anxious Attachment Style Affects Relationships

Insecurity, anxiety, disatisfaction, and jealousy can all be effects of experiencing an anxious attachment pattern.

Do You or Your Partner Have an Avoidant Attachment Pattern?

Children with an avoidant attachment pattern learn to deny their needs and take care of themselves. When they grow up, this can leave them seeking more distance in a relationship.

What Kids Really Need from Their Parents

Research suggests that the best way to help our kids feel secure is to make them feel safe, seen, and soothed. But what does that entail?

How to Stop Overreacting to Your Partner

No matter what we feel in a given moment, we can learn to react in healthier ways that don’t do lasting damage to ourselves, our partner, or our loving feelings in a relationship.

Why Do We Trigger Each Other in Relationships?

Why do relationships that started off sweet and simple become a hotbed for projections and provocations that steer us away from our loving feelings?

What’s Ruining Your Sex Life?

Having a critical voice sounding off in our heads during sex is a little like having an extra person in the room judging us and our performance. So, how do we quiet this critic?

Narcissim and the Critical Inner Voice

What goes on in the mind of a narcissist? What drives them to build themselves up, while tearing others down?

The Scientific Approach to Keeping New Year’s Resolutions

How can we adopt a new strategy for this new year that can help us meet our goals? Here are some effective, science-based tips that can guide us on a path to personal growth.

Silencing the Troll Inside Your Head

Most of us live with an inner troll, commenting on everything we do. Here are five steps we can take to silence it.

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