A Guide to College Homesickness and How to Move Through It

Source: Mia Nosanow

In my 20 years as a college mental health counselor, I had many student clients who started their college career in crisis. They had a particularly tough time leaving the comfort and warmth of their families. College seemed like a place of fear and impossibility.

That’s the bad news. The good news is that all of these students ended up developing coping skills for tough times, finding new people that they could hang out with and trust, and in general succeeding in school and life in ways they could not foresee during their first weeks at school.

However we want to label this—homesickness, adjustment disorder, social anxiety—leaving for college is a major transition. While most would agree it is widespread in the first few months of college, I saw this arise for students at all times during their college career. It could be a delayed reaction for second-years, loss of close friends to study abroad their junior year, or a realization they can’t replicate the home they came from during their senior year.

Homesickness is very common

Leaving home for the first time is the usual cause for distress. Studies have shown that 70 percent of first-year students experience some type of homesickness symptoms.

Homesickness presents in a variety of ways

Each person will have their particular way of expressing homesickness.

• Some will focus on the emotional aspect, feeling loneliness, anxiety, sadness, or irritability.
• Some will center on the cognitive features, such as being unable to focus, low motivation, or obsessively thinking about home and the past.
• Some folks might feel numb and shut down, and reveal their homesickness through physical symptoms such as sleep disruption, appetite shifts, headaches, or gastrointestinal distress.
• And some will choose to cope with unhealthy behaviors such as isolating from others and excessive use of alcohol, gambling, or shopping.

Six healthy steps for coping with homesickness

1. Name the feelings or behaviors as homesickness. Frequent reminders that this is a common, normal experience will help.
2. Get support from trusted family and friends. They will likely repeat that homesickness is common and normal and will dissipate with time. They will help focus on building community at school, rather than escaping the situation.
3. Create new connections and social relationships on campus. This will not happen overnight. It takes a lot of baby steps and shared experiences to make new friends.
4. Find places on campus that you enjoy and feel more comfortable in. This will take some time and experimentation.
5. Attend campus events. This creates a sense of belonging that grows with participation.
6. Build new routines for things that were easy at home, such as meals, sleep schedule, laundry, and where to study. It takes trial and error, but I noticed that the sense of routine kicks in around week three and starts to give relief to students.

How to keep balance with home and school

It has become so easy to stay connected to family and friends who are far away. It is a good thing to stay connected; however, too much of a good thing can get in the way of building new relationships and belonging habits on campus. There is no perfect rule for this, but having some boundaries with how much time is spent on social media, phone calls/texts, and gaming will be helpful. It takes trial and error and bravery to build a new community.

Source: Mia Nosanow

When to seek help

Symptoms of homesickness, such as sadness and isolation, can lead to more serious problems when left unchecked. It's important to reach out to a counselor or health care provider for any of these symptoms (not a complete list):

• Changes in usual communication habits
• Changes with eating, sleeping, or class attendance
• Expressing thoughts of hopelessness
• Isolation and lack of engagement with opportunities to meet people

While it can seem like the height of crisis when it is first experienced, it’s important to remember that homesickness usually ebbs when students can build new routines and community. It helps to take the long view that campus will soon feel like a second home.

To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.