How I Conquered Fear When I Was Diagnosed With Terminal Cancer

A diagnosis of terminal cancer 23 years ago made me quit my job as an organizational psychologist and devote my time to prove that chronically unemployed people with disabilities (and others) could successfully join the workforce. But that only happened once I rid myself of my new companion, not cancer, fear. At first, fear lurked in the background of every waking second and threatened to overshadow any and every moment of happiness and contentment.

I knew that if I allowed fear to control me, I would be giving up on my life even before my body did; I needed to start developing my mental resilience quickly. I didn't just want to overcome fear, I wanted to be able to live my life in calm and happiness. Over time, I developed five principles that became my mental armor. These principles enabled me to regain control of my mind and enjoy a happy life, free of the shadowy tentacles of fear. As time went by, I surprisingly found that in my case, the speed my cancer was progressing was dialed back to a miniscule crawl.

Looking around nowadays, it seems as though more and more people are living in fear—financial fear, existential fear, fear of what the future holds, fear regarding health, loved ones, society. So many people fear. For the first time, I feel compelled to share.

These are the five principles that worked for me. I truly hope they can be of aid:

1. Develop zero tolerance for fear

When fear knocked on my mind’s door, as it initially did untold times a day, I learned to never tolerate it by replacing the fearful thought with a stronger positive thought. I decided that I would never let fear settle in. The moment a negative thought crept in (What if I don’t have much time left? What if I get worse?) I immediately countered it with a stronger, positive one. I'd make up many details of an imaginary trip I would love to take in the future with my loved ones! I would remind myself that new medicine is being developed at an all-time accelerated pace! This wasn’t blind optimism or escapism; it was a deliberate practice. At first, the negative thoughts were a constant barrage, but I always and immediately fought back. I trained my mind to interrupt the downward spiral before it began. At first, it took minutes to flip each negative thought to a positive one, but over time, this became second nature—like an instinctive shield against fear and it took mere seconds.

2. Control what you can, your mind

I couldn’t control my diagnosis. I couldn’t dictate how my body would respond to cancer's onslaught and the harsh medical treatments I would at some point require. But I could choose my mindset. I could take control of my thoughts, and that was where I decided to focus my fight.

The mind is the only battlefield where we can achieve full control. Every day, I made choices about what to think about when fear crept in and how to respond to various challenges. I wanted to be well prepared for the day's fights that would surely come. Resilience wasn’t something I waited to feel; it was something I built—one decision, one fight at a time. Each bout can be as exhausting as a tough physical workout; it requires dedication and perseverance, yet the prize is as big as it gets—a happy life free of fear.

3. Many small wins eventually add up to big ones

At first, it was frustrating. I yearned for a single mental breakthrough that would make everything easier. But my reality was just like building muscle: strengthening the mind required consistent effort. Some days, the progress was so small it felt nonexistent. But I reminded myself that even miniscule gains were still gains.

It’s easy to feel defeated when the results don’t come fast enough, but I accepted that every ounce of effort mattered. And over time, those small wins accumulated into something powerful—a mind that refused to be dominated by fear.

4. Fight for those who love you

When things got tough, I pictured my loved ones—standing there, smiling, full of pride. They weren’t just supporting me from the sidelines; they were counting on me to fight.

I imagined their faces, the warmth in their eyes, the way they would tell me, “We’re so proud of you.” This vision gave me the strength to keep pushing forward. I wasn’t just fighting for myself—I was fighting for them, for the many moments I wanted us to enjoy in the future.

5. Use your future self for motivation, imaginary future flashbacks

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One of the most powerful tools I discovered was imagining myself decades from now, looking back. I imagined myself reflecting on various (current) battles with pride, remembering how I faced the hardest moments and didn’t give up, even when everything seemed lost.

This future-self perspective gave me clarity. I wanted my future self to look back on my current self and see courage, perseverance, and resilience. I wanted my future self to be proud.

23 years later

After 11 years of my original diagnosis, I had a year of chemo and biological treatments. I am in full remission, but my kind of cancer has a knack of coming back, so fear management is still necessary. Mastering my mind didn’t mean eliminating fear—it meant refusing to let fear get any kind of a foothold. These five principles became an integral part of my character, and I use them to take control of my thoughts in the face of any uncertainty life presents.

We all face battles—some visible, some hidden. But no matter the fight, the mind remains our most powerful ally. And when we train it to serve us, we unlock a strength we never knew we had.