Customer Service: How to Be Nice When They’re Not

"Your service sucks! Can't you do anything right?" shouted Jeff, his voice laced with frustration. He had demanded to have a new water dispenser sent over to replace the one that had malfunctioned, but was told that a technician would arrive to fix the existing one instead. On the other end of the line, Lisa, a seasoned call center agent, took a deep breath and quickly concocted an "angry customer narrative" before calmly responding.

In the high-stress environment of a call center, dealing with angry and frustrated customers is a daily occurrence that can take a hefty toll on service providers' emotional resilience and health. Even though service providers understand that customers usually are not angry with them personally, but rather at the company they represent—angry customers can often make their anger feel very personal to the service provider who took their call. In addition to the personal emotional hardship to service providers, difficult customers cause employers to face higher rates of employee burnout and heightened employee attrition.

Crafting Stories to Build Empathy

At my company, CY, we employ a surprisingly effective empathy-based technique that provides emotional protection to agents by helping them not take the "difficult" customers' behavior personally: they are trained to write imaginative backstories for their callers during training sessions that would explain why a customer is behaving "difficultly" while enhancing the agent's empathy for the customer. The service provider’s empathy can then enable them to attribute the customer's behavior to the (imagined) backstory, rather than to themselves, thus taking the sting out of the whole interaction.

This exercise helps agents like Lisa consider that Jeff might be dealing with more than just a service issue—perhaps he had just received really bad news and had financial worries or personal stresses greatly exacerbating his reaction.

Lisa's Imaginary Narrative

Lisa, hearing a baby cry in the background, quickly came up with the following (imaginary) narrative: Jeff and his wife had a baby six months ago and were both exhausted. They were also experiencing quite a bit of financial stress, so when Jeff's wife insisted, they buy an expensive water dispenser for the baby, the added stress just increased his financial worries, pushing him right to the edge. When the expensive water dispenser broke down, he just lost it and called to vent his outrage.

Lisa told Jeff that she had heard a baby in the background and that she understood that they must have a working water dispenser ASAP. "A new baby is wonderful but also stressful and as a mother myself, I wouldn't want the broken water dispenser to add any hardship or stress". She reassured Jeff that the technician would arrive promptly and would either fix the issue or install a new dispenser.

The Impact of Empathetic Service

This approach not only calmed Jeff down but also made him feel valued and understood, changing the entire tone of the conversation. It made Lisa feel professional and good about herself and the outcome she had achieved. She was especially pleased about the warm smile she got from an adjacent team member and the “well done” her manager mouthed to her when she looked up after finalizing the call. Not only had her narrative empathy calmed the customer, but it had also completely neutralized the emotional sting the customer's harsh words had initially caused her.

Conclusion

Incorporating empathy into customer service does more than resolve individual issues; it builds customer loyalty and enhances the company's reputation. Training in narrative empathy equips agents to handle even the most challenging calls effectively, ensuring that customers like Jeff turn from frustrated critics into satisfied promoters of the service, while building a resilient, customer-focused business ethos.