Looking for Positive Male Role Models? They're All Around You

“Being a role model is the most important kind of educating.” —John Wooden

In June 2025, shortly after the NBA Finals, journalists interviewed Vaughn Alexander, the father of Oklahoma City Thunder star and Finals MVP Shai Gilgeous-Alexander. While Alexander was clearly proud of his son’s basketball achievements, he noted that it was Shai’s positive behaviour off the court that he takes most pride in.

“Yeah, Shai plays basketball and he's amazing," he said, "but that doesn't mean he's better than anybody as a human being. What makes him a better human being is how he acts off the court, and that's what I'm more proud of.” This focus on character more than sporting prowess highlights the opportunity that athletes such as Gilgeous-Alexander have to be positive role models to the young people—and perhaps especially the young men—who follow them.

Why Role Models Matter for Young Men

In a 2014 review, researcher Janet Young noted that boys are more likely to adopt a role model of the same gender, and the influence of that role model can affect their thoughts, feelings, actions and attitudes as they try to imitate or adopt their behaviour. Other research has highlighted the importance of young men having relatable role models, whose behaviour they can look up to and seek to emulate.

While this can be extremely positive, it also leaves the door open for some highly influential—but not always well-meaning—individuals to model their version of "success" to impressionable young men.

So, how can we address this? As well as exposure to the influence of sports stars and media personalities, it’s important to make use of the "everyday influencers" in young men’s lives—those people who are already there and are regularly modelling good behaviours, such as sports coaches, mentors and teachers.

The Value of Role Models in Developing a Culture of Positive Masculinity

Vandello and Bosson (2013) noted the intense pressure faced by many men and boys to constantly assert, prove and maintain their masculinity, with traits such as strength, domination, and aggression often being highly prized. This can lead to young men feeling that they have to behave in this way to be seen as a "real man," leading to behaviour and attitudes which are harmful to both young men and society as a whole. Embracing healthy, pro-social behaviour and promoting good mental health for boys and men, therefore, requires a new approach, focusing on healthy behaviours and offering role models who can provide a positive, healthy example.

Soni Parchment is a coach with the Worcester Wolves Basketball Academy in Worcester, England and is clear about what he wants to bring to his young players as both a coach and a role model. “For me,” he says, “the main thing is making sure that I remain positive and let them know that if they make a mistake that it’s not the end of the world. I feel like I’ve definitely had an impact on the kids I’ve coached and stuck in their minds in a positive way.” When asked what skills he tries to pass on to his players, he identifies confidence and coping with adversity as being key, making them “have more confidence to speak up, to learn to talk about things rather than argue”.

How does he model those behaviours himself as a coach? “By staying positive, showing the players that there are ways out of issues by talking and they don’t have to argue or have a massive blow-out,” he says. “The earlier they learn this, the more it’ll help them in their personal life as well as their sport.”

As well as modelling positive behaviours himself, Soni acknowledges the vital part that role models have played in his own life, particularly the late basketball coach Brian Miller. “He’s an example of a coach who was doing it for others,” says Soni. “I was always going to him for life advice, not just basketball tips, but anything you could think of, and he was always happy to have a say. Because of him, I could see how you can help others just by being there.”

He continues: “Often in parts of life, the role models are there, but they might not always be noticed because they’re not famous or on social media. Because of the people around me, I see how they are and their real-life experiences, and I try to be there in the way that others have been there for me.”

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Developing Future Role Models

Positive role models can inspire and motivate, develop good behaviours and habits and help to set and achieve goals. Going forward, it is vital that positive role models are recognised and celebrated, particularly those "everyday influencers" who affect the daily lives of young men by teaching them how to behave and modelling that good behaviour themselves.

In this way, young men can see an alternative to the version of "success" they might see from high-profile influencers online and have a clearer picture of what success looks like through being a good friend, teammate and a positive example of masculinity. By following that good example, in time, they will hopefully become positive role models themselves, and the cycle continues.

Young (2009) suggested the following tips for being a good role model:

• Genuinely care about others and prioritise their development. Embrace the development of their character as well as their skills.
• Emphasise and reward people’s best efforts. Don’t just focus on the end result.
• Emphasise and exhibit positive qualities such as determination, hard work, resilience and respect.
• Practice what you preach. Adopt moral, ethical and healthy behaviours and model these for others.
• Treat others as you’d like them to treat you by modelling good attitudes and behaviours, even if you aren’t rewarded for doing so.
• Give your best effort.
• Take a genuine interest in others and actively listen to what they say. Invite others to share their thoughts, views and questions and let them know that their input has value

A section of this post also appears on the University of Worcester Academic Blog site.