Facing Existential Dread With Randy Blythe

Randy Blythe

Source: Courtesy of Randy Blythe, used with permission

Existential dread can be understood as intense feelings of anxiety, depression or loneliness that arise from contemplating one’s mortality. One reason that many of us experience these negative emotions is that we assume that if death is inevitable, life ultimately has no meaning. And often, rather than confronting these feelings, we feel overwhelmed and paralyzed, leading to avoidance of our existential dread. Unfortunately, this avoidance tends to worsen rather than improve our negative feelings.

One potential way for us to cope with existential dread is to develop a strong sense of purpose. Sense of purpose can be understood as intentionally and proactively engaging in meaningful acts that have an impact on our life and the lives of others. If we can develop a strong sense of purpose, we may be able to understand how our life has meaning even in the face of certain mortality. To explore these ideas, I spoke with David “Randy” Blythe – frontman of the Grammy-nominated heavy metal band Lamb of God. In his new book, Just Beyond The Light: Making Peace With the Wars Inside Our Head, Blythe discusses how he has developed his sense of purpose when confronting existential dread. And in our conversation, he explained his pathway to coping with existential dread through a purpose-driven life.

The first step that Blythe identifies in coping with existential dread is accepting our own mortality. “I think facing our own mortality … and realizing that we're going to die actually is going to help with that fear that what we've done wasn't enough,” Blythe told me. “I think if we come to concrete terms with our mortality, then we are going to have a much firmer grasp on what is worth doing during the time we have here.”

Once we have accepted our mortality, the second step that Blythe elucidated to cope with existential dread is being able to determine our sense of purpose. One core aspect of Blythe’s sense of purpose is his identity as an artist—which includes being a singer-songwriter, photographer and writer. “I'm an artist … That is my purpose. That is my function … that is how I achieve things—beneficial things—with the maximum amount of efficiency,” he explained.

Blythe explained that one key to determining our sense of purpose is to discover something whereby we not only enjoy the outcome (e.g., a written song or book), but also love the process. As an example, he explained his love the process of making music with the other members of Lamb of God. “For us making this music, it was a matter of love. It was like, ‘I love doing this. I love making this music. I love the process of of creating,’” Blythe said. “I love the process of learning how to be in a band. Because it's not like we formed … this perfectly cohesive unit … and it runs like a smooth machine. No, it was a bit of a nightmare at times. But it was fun because it was a love of learning and a love of this creative expression.”

Unfortunately, even if we establish a strong sense of purpose, we often have to struggle against societal pressures that may challenge that purpose. For example, we are often told that our purpose is not valid. Blythe reflected on his struggle with embracing his purpose as an artist as opposed to a more "traditional" career path. “At times I'm super self-critical, and I think ... 'You're just a singer in a heavy metal band, a writer, a photographer or whatever. You are not making a difference in the world. You're not helping people. You're not putting good out in in good of any concrete value into this existence,'” Blythe explained. “I have slowly come to accept that I don't have to be a doctor or a psychiatrist or a physicist or a surgeon. I'm not going to cure cancer. That is not what I am suited to. And for me, it's been a slow process of realizing I don't have to be great at everything. I don't have to have all the right answers. I just have to do the best that I can to fulfill what I have come to see is my function, which is that of the artist.”

Further, Blythe emphasizes in his book that having a sense of purpose must be action-oriented. That can be particularly difficult with a lack of societal support. “I think you have to look at yourself and say, ‘Okay, people don't think this is a worthy pursuit, but I like it. Am I willing to continue on with this in the face of naysayers?'” Blythe described. “I think this is one of the main requirements to be an artist, who have either had the self-confidence, the courage, or the foolhardiness to just go ahead and express themselves again and again and again and again and in front of other people and face the judgment. And whether it's positive or negative, keep on plugging ahead.”

Finally, our sense of purpose is bolstered if we build a community to support our efforts. For Blythe, in addition to bandmates and peers, this means forging a bond with his audience. He described walking with a friend and meeting fans of his the day of a show: “The way to … verify that connection … that you as an artist have with your audience … is to meet them.” He recalled, “We met these two fans, and they came up and they were like, ‘Holy cr*p, it's you. We're gonna go see you tonight.’ And I'm like, ‘Right on.’ And they're like, ‘Can we take a picture?’ … And, you know, my friend took the picture because the the kid's hand was shaking so much with his phone ... And as we were walking away, this older gentleman I was walking with looked at me, and he said, 'Man, you really made their day.'”

Blythe stresses that in order to maximize the effect that sense of purpose has on our life, including as a coping strategy for existential dread, it is crucial that we commit to our purpose throughout our lifetime. "Unless I become so cognitively impaired that I cannot function either as a writer or a musician or as a photographer or as an actor … I'm going to continue to do those things until the day I die. I will never, ever retire," he explained. "And I think that ... hopefully, when I'm getting ready to die, I face it with some grace and some dignity. I can look at what I've done and say, 'You did your best man, you did everything that you can do.'”

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Ultimately, Blythe recognized that he can't guarantee that embracing his sense of purpose will definitely assuage feelings of existential dread. But he is confident that it is best for him to try. "Maybe I'll reach my deathbed and I'll go, Well, sh*t, that was a waste of time ... But I think I would feel a lot worse on my deathbed if I was like, you know, 'I always wanted to be in a band and tried to play CBGBs one day and that, that was my dream ... I wish I had done that,'" Blythe explained. "That's not going to happen to me. I'm going to be on my deathbed and be like 'I was in a band and I played CBGBs.'"

"Because that's what happened."

Check out Randy's book and book tour here.