The Beauty of Reaching Toward Never

Source: Pexels/Sergey Meshkov

Ah, the asymptote. Do you remember the term vaguely from math class? Maybe from that pop quiz that you could have studied harder for?

Well, I have not thought about the word asymptote in many years, but I recently encountered it on my podcast, Fifty Words For Snow. The podcast is a linguistic safari I cohost with Emily John Garcés—where we explore words without English equivalents or sometimes, as in this case, “lost” words within our own language.

In this recent episode, we sat down with Susan Sechrist, a writer who delves into the strange poetry of math and science, to discuss the asymptote. And here’s the deal: It’s the curve that endlessly approaches the line but never quite gets there. A flirtation, a dance, an infinite pursuit.

Fiction writer Susan Sechrist

Source: Susan Sechrist/Used with permission

Susan talked about how she sees asymptotes in her yoga practice. Susan has been wrestling with the crow pose—a move where you balance on your hands while looking like a very smug bird—and she admitted that it’s her asymptote. She may never master it, but she keeps trying.

Her yoga teacher puts it like this: “We practice toward never.” We practice toward never!

Let that sink in. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?

We’re often fed this capitalist claptrap that life is about achieving, acquiring, crossing finish lines, and ticking boxes. But the asymptote invites us to embrace the not-quite, the almost, the endless journey.

We all have these big goals—be a perfect partner, write a bestselling novel, do crow pose without face-planting—and we tell ourselves, “I’ll be happy when I get there.” But as I need to keep reminding myself, there is no there. Even if I do write that amazing novel or balance on my hands, there’ll just be a new goal, a new line to approach but never cross. And that’s not a bad thing! Because the point of life isn’t to arrive.

Emily, my cohost, added her own dollop of cosmic wisdom to our discussion, describing the void we often fear as “doughnut-shaped, with a bit of heaven in the middle.” Isn’t that delicious?

Emily's painting of donut-shaped void

Source: Emily John Garces/Used with permission

The void, that gaping hole we spend so much of our lives running from, isn’t a black abyss after all. It’s a ring of mystery surrounding a golden center of possibility.

So what if, instead of berating ourselves for not being perfect—whether it’s in yoga, relationships, or life—we approached our pursuits like the asymptote? We’d revel in the effort, find meaning in the reaching, and perhaps discover that the joy of existence lies in trying.

So here’s to the asymptote. Here’s to striving without needing to succeed. Here’s to finding beauty, joy, and a bit of heaven in the doughnut-shaped void.

And if you’re still wondering what the hell an asymptote is, don’t worry. Just know it’s about moving forward. That’s all you need to know. Now go try the crow pose. And don’t forget to laugh when you fall.