As Simple as M&Ms: Teaching Kids About Racism Through Play

As a mother of a 15-month-old, a graduate faculty member, and a trauma-informed clinician, I understand how powerful play can be in shaping a child’s understanding of themselves and the world around them. Play not only nurtures creativity and problem-solving skills but also provides a safe environment for children to explore complex ideas like bias, racism, and inclusion.

One of my favorite ways to teach my son Roman, who’s now 15 months, about diversity (even at his young age) is through simple, everyday play activities like describing and exploring his hair and skin and physical features in fun and exciting ways. I’ve found that these same concepts can be adapted for older kids, like my 5-year-old nephew, Kobi, and my 11-year-old niece, Genevieve and her two younger sisters (7 and 5). Through play, we can help children process emotions, learn self-expression, and, most importantly, build resilience in the face of adversity.

Why Play Matters

At its core, play offers a way for children to safely process and make sense of the world around them. Children at different stages of development learn through interactive experiences, and play helps them explore emotions, develop social skills, and practice problem-solving. It allows them to express themselves, build relationships, and try out behaviors in a low-stakes, supportive environment.

Play-based activities promote creativity and foster emotional bonding between parents and children. Whether it’s pretending to be superheroes, building with blocks, or playing games that model real-world experiences, children can practice skills that will serve them throughout their lives—especially in navigating social relationships and addressing bias and exclusion.

Play-Based Activities for Addressing Bias and Inclusion

One of the most fun and impactful activities I’ve used in my own family and with the clinicians in my training sessions is this M&M’s activity. Here’s how it works:

Step 1: Display a bowl of M&M’s. Don’t let the children touch them just yet. Ask them what they see. Encourage them to describe the colors, shapes, and sizes of the M&M’s.

Step 2: Dive deeper into conversation. Ask questions like:

• “What can you tell me about these M&M’s just from looking at them?”
• “Are any of these M&M’s better than the others?”

This helps kids start thinking critically about differences. At this point, I explain that, just like in real life, we may have preferences for some M&M colors, but that doesn’t make one color better than another. I ask the kids to acknowledge that some might have a favorite, but that all of the M&Ms are made of the same ingredients: chocolate, sugar, and love.

Step 3: Let the children have their M&M’s. Let each child have one M&M. I often ask them to bite into it and check the inside, then compare the insides. Despite all the different colors, the insides are the same: chocolate. This is an opportunity to talk about how, no matter how we may look on the outside, we’re all made of the same things inside.

Step 4: Dig deeper into values of inclusion. Ask questions like:

• “What if we were all the same color, size, or shape? Would the world be as interesting?”
• “What if an M&M is cracked? Does that mean it’s no good?”

This last question is one I particularly enjoy because it allows for a rich conversation about abilities. Some children might believe that a cracked M&M isn’t worth eating, but I use that moment to explain how some people might be treated unfairly because of things like a disability or different abilities. Just like the M&M, a person is still valuable and deserving of love and respect, no matter what their body looks like.

Adapting the Game for Different Ages

As I play this game with my family, I notice how the activity changes based on their developmental stages. Roman, at 15 months, is still very much in the phase of sensory exploration—he’s more focused on touching and tasting the M&M’s than understanding the deeper lesson. But by engaging him through sight and taste, I’m planting the seeds of connection and inclusivity early. At this age, the goal is to make the experience enjoyable and teach him the basics of diversity without needing complex explanations.

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For Kobi, who’s 5, I can engage in more meaningful discussions about what it means for something or someone to be “different” but still valuable. Kobi is beginning to understand social relationships and can grasp the concept that people have different preferences and abilities but still deserve respect. This is a great time to reinforce the idea that we should never judge others based on superficial differences like the color of their skin, the clothes they wear, or whether they can walk or talk like others.

Genevieve, my 11-year-old niece, is at an age where she can appreciate more complex ideas about fairness, bias, and inclusion. At this stage, we can dive deeper into conversations about how unfairly people are sometimes treated because of these differences. The conversation shifts from play-based exploration to more thoughtful reflection on real-world issues, including how bias affects people’s lives.

Parent-Child Engagement Strategies

The way I play this game with my family is designed to model coping and problem-solving strategies for dealing with bias, exclusion, and injustice. I encourage parents to:

• Engage in culturally relevant play and storytelling. Use stories that reflect different cultural backgrounds, family structures, and experiences. When we talk about characters who face challenges, children can better understand the struggles that real people go through.
• Use play to model coping and problem-solving strategies. In my role as a clinician, I often encourage parents to use play to help their kids navigate difficult emotions. When we model calmness, patience, and resilience, kids can learn how to manage their emotions and respond with empathy.
• Create an affirming, inclusive home environment. Surrounding children with diverse experiences—through books, toys, and media—helps them build an internal framework of inclusion, equality, and empathy. This is especially important in a world where children are exposed to many messages, some positive and some negative, about differences.

Teaching Resilience Through Play

Ultimately, the goal of using play to teach kids about racism, bias, and inclusion is to nurture resilience. By making these conversations a part of play, we teach children that differences are normal and beautiful. We give them the tools they need to understand the world, cope with challenges, and stand up for what’s right.

By incorporating these principles into your daily life with your kids, whether they’re 14 months, 6 years old, or 11, you’re creating a foundation for empathy, respect, and justice that will last a lifetime. Just like those M&Ms, we may look different on the outside, but on the inside, we’re all made of the same stuff. And that’s what makes us truly special.

I’m sharing a photo resource below that I use with clinicians and caregivers and which can be saved to your phone for an easy reference. Other resources can be found here. I hope this approach resonates with parents and caregivers as they navigate difficult but important conversations with their children. Remember: Play doesn’t just have to be fun; it can also be a powerful tool for building a more inclusive, empathetic, and resilient future.

Source: Dr. Isha Metzger / The EMPOWER Lab