When Depression Tells You That You're Worth Less Than Others

"I have as much right to be here as anyone else." It might sound like a simple platitude, yet, during depression, maintaining belief in these powerful words can feel out of reach. The individual stories vary. Depression can make us feel like a burden to those around us, but it can also cause us to overfocus on past mistakes, leading to excess guilt. Still, the ending statement that we do or do not have the same right to good things as others is exceptionally commonplace for individuals experiencing depression.

A recent study that surveyed 2408 people across seven countries found that depressive symptoms and thoughts of suicide significantly correlated with a sense of not having the same rights as other people (Renger et al., 2023).

The Depression–Low Confidence–Self-Sabotage Cycle

What is particularly tricky about this trap is that believing that we are less than others may make us less likely to take opportunities or risks that may improve our situation. We might be less likely to apply for a promotion or ask someone on a date, for example. Cruelly, our depression can be bolstered while we miss out, throwing us further into a state of low confidence.

We can find ourselves entangled in a depression, low confidence, and self-sabotage cycle.

This trap is troubling and perpetuates itself in a way that proves escape tricky. What follows are five steps you can take to make your way out.

1. Catch the comparison game (and know it's flawed): As humans, we often compare ourselves to others. From an evolutionary standpoint, this makes sense; falling behind the tribe in past ages could prove devastating. Today, our world is more complex than that of our ancestors. We have so many ways to compare ourselves and constant information. The comparison game is flawed—we only know so much about others' lives. In addition, it is harmful. Quitting the comparison game can take time. Noticing when you are playing and choosing to disengage is a first step.
2. Look at the evidence: If you have a tricky thought, for example, that you do not deserve something, look at the objective evidence for and against that idea. Depression sets us up to make judgments based on how we feel, which does not always line up with the available information. Be willing to challenge yourself.
3. Give yourself kindness: Depression can be ruthless! Self-compassion during times of depression is critical. This can take a million forms, ranging from utilizing encouraging self-talk to permitting yourself to do something you enjoy.
4. Recognize your own bias: During times of depression, we are susceptible to bias against ourselves. One study asked individuals living with depression and those without to take turns at a task of memory and focus and then rate their performance (Schwert et al., 2018). Consistently, individuals without depression were likely to overestimate their performance, while depressed participants were more likely to underestimate it. Knowing your bias at the outset can help you to counter it.
5. Reach out for help: Psychotherapy like acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), compassion-focused therapy (CFT), and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help. Each of these approaches tackles the pattern from a different angle. For example, ACT can assist you in gaining tools to "unhook" from unhelpful thoughts, while CBT focuses on challenging them. CFT utilizes strategies for building self-compassion while better understanding loops in which we may be caught.

Closing

The depression, low self-worth, and self-sabotage cycle is real. Still, through changes in perception, self-kindness, and reaching out to support, when necessary, it is possible to overcome this.