Creating a Better Than Perfect Holiday

Source: unsplash

As we explored in the last blog post, perfectionism can play the role of Scrooge, depleting us of our holiday jolliness.

But how can you drop the perfectionism without lowering your standards? How can you release the need for things to be perfect, while still being true to yourself and what is important to you?

Well, that is where the concept of “better than perfect” comes in.

Personally, I struggled with perfectionism for a good portion of my life. And while my perfectionism had some positive traits, such as striving for excellence, wanting to make a positive impact, and the desire to influence the situation and others in a beneficial way, it also came with much stress. Despite working a lot and being successful in many ways, I never felt like I was good enough. I always felt like I had to do more and more and more in order to be worthy. Around the holidays, this came out as being stressed out about doing everything perfectly at the expense of enjoying myself and my time with loved ones. I equated the holidays with stress, forgetting about the true meaning of this time of year: love.

Here’s the deal: Your perfectionism is partly motivated by good — striving for excellence, wanting to make a positive impact, and the desire to make things better. Unfortunately, it also comes with some not-so-good qualities: conditional self-worth, stress, and never feeling like you are good enough.

I created the concept of “better than perfect” to represent keeping the positive components of perfectionism, while at the same time getting rid of its adverse factors.

As a recovering perfectionist, I used to feel uncomfortable with the thought of not being a perfectionist, thinking that would result in lowering my standards. But really, when we ditch perfectionism and embrace being better than perfect, what we focus on are the values most important to us.

Think about it. What’s really most important to you this time of the year, preparing the perfect holiday meal — and being stressed out before, during, and after — or spending quality time with friends and family? My guess is you would say the latter, being better than perfect, but you might actually focus on the former, perfectionism.

Let’s look at quick ways you can be better than perfect this holiday season so that you, and those around you, can be more joyous.

Source: Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo

The key to being better than perfect is to focus on your core values and what is most important to you: family, love, health, and compassion. At the same time, you let go of the overwhelming expectations you put on yourself and others.

So try this. Ask yourself, “What do I went to remember about this holiday 10 years from now?” and “What do I want my loved ones to remember?” Your answer, most likely, would not be, “I made the perfect meal (and was completely stressed out).” Instead, it would probably be something more along the lines of, “We laughed until our stomachs hurt,” or “We got even closer as a family.” Then, use your responses to help you focus on what is truly meaningful to you.

How will you be better than perfect this holiday season?

This holiday season, give yourself the gift of being better than perfect!