From Trauma to Thriving

At the Trauma and Resilience Conference 2025, I had the privilege of sharing research that continues to reshape how we understand the interrelations among trauma, belonging, and human resilience. Recent findings illuminate a powerful truth: Our capacity to not just survive but truly thrive in the face of adversity is fundamentally rooted in our connections to others and our sense that we matter.

The Hidden Cost of Trauma

Many experts agree that traumatic experience(s) have a profound impact on the way people feel, think, and behave. The resulting stress can cause physical symptoms such as headaches, heartaches, nausea, muscle tension, and insomnia. Trauma can be individual or collective experiences, and the effect of trauma can vary widely from person to person.

But perhaps most tragically, trauma robs people of their full creativity, imagination, and innovation. When we're stuck in survival mode, our brains prioritize threat detection over the expansive thinking that fuels experimentation, exploration, and human potential. This isn't just about treating acute symptoms—it's about the dreams deferred, the innovations never born, the contributions to society that remain locked away.

The Language We Use Shapes the Lives We Touch

As educators and professionals, we must recognize that words matter. Too often, we use labels like "troubled kids" or "at-risk learners" that seem to attach temporary situations to individuals permanently. Such labels locate the problem(s) within the person, not the systems that limit them. Even more concerning, these terms can be dehumanizing, especially when we use medical conditions and disorders to describe or define people—reducing complex human beings to terms like "endangered," "extinct," "case," or "addict."

This linguistic shift isn't just political correctness and semantics; it's about preserving human dignity and recognizing that circumstances don't define character, instance doesn’t form identity, and situations don’t defy success. When we change our language, we change our lens, and when we change our lens, we open new possibilities for intervention and growth.

The Four Pillars of Mattering

Central to resilience is the concept of mattering—the psychological sense that we are significant to others. Research reveals that mattering has four essential components: attention (being noticed), dependence (being needed), ego-extension (having someone in your corner), and importance (making a difference).

Of these, ego-extension emerges as particularly powerful. That’s simply this: Somebody has my back. Applied to education, this role can be played by student advocates, cultural navigators, advisors, faculty, family, therapists, and countless others. When something bad happens to students, like they fail a class, lose an election, or lose a loved one, and someone's there for them, it does not encode or inscript as trauma. This is the profound difference between an event that devastates and one that strengthens: relational consistency—the enduring presence of a strong supportive person or group.

The Neuroscience of Belonging

The latest research reveals something remarkable about our brains and belonging. Feeling like one belongs through strong, supportive social connections and interpersonal bonds activates reward-related regions of the brain and triggers the release of "feel good" neuropeptides such as serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin. In essence, belonging doesn't just feel good; it literally rewires our neural pathways toward resilience.

This biological reality underscores why psychological safety isn't just a luxury but a necessity. When people feel safe to be vulnerable, to make mistakes, to ask for help, to admit what’s unknown, they develop what I call navigational capacity—the ability to move through challenges with assistance from others while maintaining their sense of self, esteem, and purpose.

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Building Resilient Systems, Not Just Resilient Individuals

Research suggests that the presence of a strong "safety net" can lead to a more resilient response to traumatic stressors. In my own research, I found that a sense of safety and security around basic needs helped buffer the negative effects of campus climate on college students' mental health, substance abuse, and belonging.

Resilience is a complex concept that entails an ability to cope with difficult situations. It includes the use of coping strategies ranging from mindfulness to exercise, reframing, and cognitive flexibility. But individual coping strategies, while important, are insufficient if the systems around us remain toxic or unsupportive.

We must move beyond teaching people to be resilient within broken systems and instead focus on creating new or reworking existing systems in ways that foster resilience. This means examining our institutions—schools, workplaces, communities—through the lens of belonging and asking: Do people feel they matter here? Are their basic needs for safety, security, and connection met? Are there particular histories and contexts that must be acknowledged?

The Ripple Effects of Support

As I shared in the keynote, when we understand that support and mattering act as buffers against trauma, injury, and stress, we begin to see intervention differently. It's not about fixing broken individuals but about ensuring that when life inevitably brings challenges, people don't face them alone. The presence of even one person who truly sees, values, and supports another can be the difference between trauma and growth, between surviving and thriving.

This understanding has profound implications for prevention. Rather than waiting to intervene after trauma has occurred, we can focus on building networks of care that prevent experiences from becoming traumatic in the first place.

Recommendations for Practice

For psychologists, educators, social workers, and parents, my research offers clear guidance. First, audit your language—eliminate deficit-based labels that locate problems within individuals rather than systems. Second, prioritize relational consistency over programmatic interventions; sustainable change happens through sustained relationships. Third, create environments of psychological safety where vulnerability is met with support and empathy, not judgment. Fourth, recognize that your role as ego-extension—someone who has another's back—may be the most important intervention you ever provide. Finally, remember that resilience isn't just about bouncing back; it's about creating conditions where people can bounce forward into fuller expressions of their potential. When we get belonging right, we don't just heal trauma—we unleash human possibility in ways that move from trauma to thriving.